Referring to someone as an “oysterman” feels like a baroque 19th century ethnic slur.

keep cool, keep cool—cucumbers is the word

Yes, penises exist to satisfy an incel mindset.

leftists won't be happy with this polling but this is what you have to say to win back working class voters

check out the absolute ratshit job geneapolis III did on this mosaic repair, it’s amazing how much DIY handymen of today have in common with their counterparts from a thousand years ago, like being blind and not having thumbs

instagram is a fascinating place. people’s stories rn are like “i hate the fourth (anarchist)” “pool party/bbq!” “i hate the fourth (has ptsd)” “applebees corporate account meme repost”

Happy 10th anniversary to the St. Louis dumpster fire graphic

Trump getting split in half by a bolt of lightning while giving a speech on America's 250th would be the greatest thing to happen in human history and could never be topped

eating a hot dog, leftistly

Like if you have achieved hot dog nirvana. Repost if you are still on the noble hot dog eightfold path

Say what you want about beetles but those sumbitches can scuttle

Wait everyone shut up for a second: the discovery of the Brachiosaurus holotype is at the exact midpoint between the founding of the United States and today (July 4, 1901)

post from someone with a crush: woke up squirming in agony like a worm on hot pavement again post from their crush: just had a lovely sandwitch 🙂

RIP to all the catholics excommunicated by the pope for their heresy but im different. and better. maybe even better than the pope

i'll admit it surprised me when strange deep sea creatures started showing up at my door, but i still think angering the gods who rule the inky black ocean depths was pretty much risk free. i mean once these guys get here they got basically zero fight left and then BOOM. i put a bucket over em

neal is the closest thing to a kaiju we get

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE

i deleted my tweet dunking on this article so shoutout to wedge dot live for doing the good work

Let me be very clear, this approach will criminalize homelessness, criminalize those struggling with addiction, and will worsen people’s life outcomes by giving them a criminal record that follows them for years. Our community has told us what it actually needs. 2/

Today, the City of Minneapolis and Mayor Frey announced a strategy that I consider the city’s War on Drugs. 1/ www.startribune.com/minneapolis-...

“What are you going to do, excommunicate me?” - Bishop excommunicated

I looked up the full text of 4834 and Illinois is straight up refusing to acknowledge testosterone as a controlled substance or track prescriptions of it and will destroy any such existing records. This is really great!

The Flyer. 1/4

the next thing you impulse buy WILL change your life. do NOT wait or second guess yourself, this time it IS going to be different

“Who can breed the most rectangular cow?” is a question we just stopped trying to answer, and I think that’s because we are cowards.

good to hear DFL chair richard carlbom standing up for trans people today in wake of supreme court ruling and i hope amy klobuchar's campaign hear his words peggy flanagan shows us minnesotans want bold leaders in response to havoc trump is wreaking, klobuchar's silence on trans issues is a problem

and for dessert the lady will have 40-60 milk chocolate chips eaten directly out of her hand

curse of fast elvis

JOKER: Not so fast, Bat-JERK! My LAUGHBangs will leave you BLIND as a BAT! BLUESKY BATMAN: Oof. Many people suffer from reduced vision. Not funny. JOKER: It's like, it's a pun. It's just wordplay. BLUESKY BATMAN: Sorry if I'm not in the mood for "jokes" while SCOTUS shreds our constitutional rights

blocking her for this is a fumble

getting slurped in 6 dimensions by a machine elf

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller

this wouldn’t work legally because a President has no authority to remove a Supreme Court justice. however the President could instead simply drone strike them. it sounds like i’m being snarky but as a result of the immunity decision this is the actual law.

i went back in time to try and kill a victorian child by having him taste hidden valley ranch bugles. but instead he showed me that they have a letter F that makes an S sound and i fainted

Today, I resigned all my DFL positions. I can no longer in good conscience support Amy Klobuchar for Governor, due to her votes for bills restricting trans healthcare and trans rights, and due to her making no effort to apologize for or atone for that. I can't go into Pride weekend supporting her.

Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Rainier Cherries the 2 weeks each year they have them at my Costco $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

OH, PEG --- THAT’S CORNY

texting messaging the president of candles and apparently candles are big comeback

everyone is so icked out by mercenaries until they need people with no allegiances to pay for unsavory deeds 💅

Shout out to Abel, world record holder for being dead the longest

climbing in to the tube: "congratulations" "its right for you to enter" "imagine what one might experience in a tube" "i'm envious i've no tube" climbing out of the tube: "you ought remain in the tube" "go back" "we think you belong inside" "go back" "go back and stay" "we will use force"

Shrimp discourse??

peggy flanagan casts her ballot in minneapolis, voting for herself as she runs for the open US senate seat. “i’m going to take a picture of my ballot like a nerd.” early voting is now open in minnesota!

LEAVE HER ALONE

Hm.