remember to siphon your work van

OpenAI and…the United States Military…are teaming up to notify YOU that your son has been KILLED IN ACTION. Click here to speak with your son via AI one last time

i think of this tweet so often lol

I wish there was a real ass left wing echo chamber I could post in. I’d never leave

i feel like losing touch with the common man would be awesome. i hope that happens to me someday

Welcome to Thirty Under Qwerty, the most promising people whose names can be typed without that troublesome top row

using coding agents so that i can spend less time making software and get back to my true passion, middle management

ten years ago, I started this company with the promise of building a cheap, sustainable launch system to deliver commercial payloads into upper orbit. that company failed. so today we are pivoting our fleet of one-way shuttles to tap into an underserved market: customers eager to die in space

Gen Xers were too weak from having divorced parents and drinking leaded water from the hose to defend themselves from millennial attacks so they voted for Trump as a strongman to protect them

you missed the best one

Me my whole life: Nothing is black and white. You have to consider nuance Now: We face a heinous, remorseless evil

Gandalf is such a good guy that he says alot of nice things about Radagast but it’s in one of those ways where it’s clearly just him being nice. “Why he is a master of hues, and the birds love him!” meanwhile the two Blue Wizards are firing off lighting bolts to impress Milfs in Tampa

O hell! What have we here?

1/3 of Boston & Cambridge households are car-free—among the highest rates for major US cities Those households are concentrated near T stations, especially downtown, along the Heath St & Boston College branches of the Green Line, and in parts of Cambridge served by the Red Line

You can be one of the most popular figures on the cultural landscape and it won't matter; if white racists don't like you, you're controversial and polarizing. White racists are meanwhile never framed as divisive or polarizing, no, they're always "concerned" or "anxious."

in an era when carnivore diet influencers are in charge of the american nuclear arsenal we have to admit the "annoying vegan" stereotype barely ever actually existed and the "all meat diet guy" is real, increasingly omnipresent, and way more annoying and inconvenient to actually be around

Many have questioned our decision to put Jeffrey Epstein in a cell with Frank "The Billionaire Murderer" Garbanzo but honestly it makes me laugh how little you armchair experts know about prison administration.

Never Forget

went to the store

i cannot be dissuaded from the belief that something approaching utopia is simple, obvious, and within reach. it is the source of my unrelenting optimism and unrelenting rage

you cant read auras stupid ass . you can barely read English

I'm SO mad, I got kidnapped by evil scientists and put in the evil science facility where they give you psychic powers and wings and stuff but I was in the control group so nothing happened

Shout out to big cities. FUCK Middle America

Before we get started, I just want to say thank you to all of my subscribers. This has been a dream as long as I can remember and I couldn’t have done it without you. It feels surreal to finally say it, but this is the final episode of Nutting In Every Country In The World. Welcome to Vatican City

Who founded your wing of the Democratic Party and when? Progressives: Woodrow Wilson (1912) Neoliberals: Eugene McCarthy (1968) Southern Democrats: Charles I (1642) Popularists: Franklin Roosevelt (1932)

"as a tool of authoritarian conflict management, the Board of Peace arguably upholds three basic principles: Might is right, ethnic cleansing is an appropriate tool of conflict resolution, and war is an opportunity for real estate development." read @danaelkurd.bsky.social

I know there's a lot more important stuff going on but it's just days away until we launch a human crew further than any human has gone away from Earth. They will do a high orbit over the Moon then fall back to Earth, becoming also the fastest humans of all time. So there's that

It's crazy that if you have the first principle "human ethnic groups, physical differences aside, are not different in terms of mental capacity or 'inherent' personality traits" you are woker than 90% of the people who work for supposedly liberal media organizations.

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i think it was the great screenwriter william goldsmith who famously said there are only three stories in all the world. a man goes on a journey, a stranger comes to town, and people fighting their way up and/or down a high-rise building

AHHHHHHH!

this is why you should *never* hit someone with an rpg. it’s dangerous, it’s shitty, and it’s wrong

I said "ooh I like your gold necklace" one time in front of my friends and they called me "Covetous Smaug" for months

the god of fear and hunger acknowledges your suffering

I knew I was evil before I knew I was fruity. come to think of it the two are totally unrelated. well I've made a fine mess of this prompt. kindergarten, though. I knew I was host to something ancient and horrible during arts & crafts

LOL.... i wanted to hear JD getting booed at the Olympics and when i searched for it on YouTube i got this

coming up with a new idea called "driving like shit olympics". no more bland, unprovable statements like "california drivers are the WORST" allowed. whichever state wins every 4 years gets a moonshot-sized public transit investment to get those fuckers off the road

I'm finally ready to start living my life. But first, I'll need to prepare. Spending 67-80+ years should about do it. Don't want to mess up something so important. I'm only going to get one chance, after all.

I think I’m going to get a post-doc or master’s in CS/software related field. I’ll do that after I save up enough money and move to Chicago. Behind my savings goal for a month due to vet bills, but if anyone can prioritize and endure it’s me.

only openly non-binary person at my company got let go and my front desk coworker went on a rant against “me-too woke feel-sorry-for-myself”. at least we both like indian food. gonna be a long, long year

*chuckling and putting down my copy of the financial times* President Trump executed Order 66? Doesn't that clown know that'll be bad for military morale?

normal

I don’t see my friend “a scary amount of butter” as much as I’d like to but when I do it’s like no time has passed, we pick up right where we left off

Hey y’all! A cat rescue on the island of Oahu needs our help! Lucky Paws has only raised $577 out of a needed $5k to keep their important work going. Can you help spread the word? Donate a few bucks? Thank you! @jortsthecat.bsky.social @fishtopher.bsky.social luckypaws.org?fbclid=PAVER...