Crustfundbabies
@saveitforfest.bsky.social
📤 579
📥 1072
📝 508
Just here for the jokes
pinned post!
I think to myself as I slowly survey the room "My genius is lost on these fools." *empty silence...cat meows in background, fishtank humms*
10 months ago
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crumbum
16 days ago
Culture is chock full of gods and ghosts, language the drift of the spirit away from the meat and bones of its origin.
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Twilight Stylite
over 1 year ago
[dabbing perfume on my neck] This could be the night when the Abyss gazes back into me.
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crumbum
16 days ago
After an intense examination of the premises I found my missing cup of coffee in the shower.
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When people take more than 3 seconds to hang up after saying Ok Bye I’m like
16 days ago
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If you’re not coming with that, “Let’s drink Cabernet until our lips turn purple” energy, you should definitely ring the New Year in with someone else.
18 days ago
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Mary
about 1 month ago
I went into an extremely crowded store. I had a cart and there was nowhere to push it and nowhere to put it and nowhere to stop and look. When I went to the next store, I did not get a cart. Freedom washed over me. Zipping through crowds, light on my feet, an unencumbered sprite.
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Struggalo
about 1 month ago
Hear me out: The Gronkch
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☠Ghost Inside A Dream☠
about 1 month ago
“I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn”
add a skeleton here at some point
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“I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn”
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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avery
about 1 month ago
pls miss me with the rigamarole
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Thinking I’m going to get fired for being sassy and snarky in an email, then realizing I actually just sound matter-of-fact, logical, and polite after reading it again is top Virgo behavior.
about 1 month ago
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Luke Steuber
10 months ago
A few years ago I saw someone say that dating someone with ADHD is like microdosing Wikipedia and I’m still recovering from that wound
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Jesse Taylor Lewis
about 1 month ago
I'm not a hermit because I don't understand people, I'm a hermit because I do
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My ears feel like they spontaneously spurt blood every time I click on a review video someone turned into ASMR. I hate them SO much. They make me want to bash my head against a wall and rip the remaining fragments of my brain out of my skull.
about 1 month ago
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NANCY COMICS BY ERNIE BUSHMILLER
about 1 month ago
THIS NIGHTMARE WILL BE IN FULL COLOR
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Pookleblinky
about 1 month ago
They should make cat toys that the cat can actually disembowel, like lil plushie intestines can spill out of the cat toy
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Elizabeth Alice Croydon
about 1 month ago
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Meowtroid, Moghwyn Magnate🩸
about 1 month ago
Raising Arizona.
add a skeleton here at some point
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wargen
about 1 month ago
falling down a long flight of stairs in front of a bunch of people would be an embarrassing way to die
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jon rosenberg
about 1 month ago
Someone mispronounced 'gamut' on a podcast I was listening to the other day and I'm still mad about it
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My neutered cat has a new nickname (Horn Dawg) and a new girlfriend (super fluffy blanket) I sit here giggling at my little Lothario and his discovery of this newfound and pointless pleasure.
about 1 month ago
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Surprised Face Guy
about 1 month ago
Next Halloween I'm handing out Zippo lighters.
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CrazyMyra
about 1 month ago
I have several social media accounts that by themselves could pass the age verification process. And my mobile phone number is from the 1900s.
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Steve Suckington
about 1 month ago
“omg gloves made out of paper towels” -me, stoned and eating chicken wings
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CrazyMyra
about 1 month ago
How timezones affect social media perceptions
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CrazyMyra
about 1 year ago
By the tapping of my thumbs, Something wiki'd this way comes.
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NewWaveAndPunk
about 1 month ago
Terry: 🖤🤍 📸unknown.
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Beccas can't be choosers
about 1 month ago
ME: *explaining my symptoms to a doctor* it feels like my body is full of 10,000 snakes, all hissing at each other. sometimes one bites another, and that part of me is lost MY DOCTOR, WHO IS 10,000 SNAKES IN A LAB COAT: yesss yesssss, thiss isss all very normal for humansssss
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DaddyJew
about 1 month ago
it’s the inner Cheech in me that sees the inner Chong in you
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Dire Wolf
about 1 year ago
Stop hating on lazy people. We didn't even do anything.
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Dire Wolf
about 1 year ago
The idea is to just keep scrolling on your phone until you die.
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Dire Wolf
about 1 year ago
[Trying to sleep] Brain: Brain: Brain: Brain: Brain: Brain: ᶜᵃˡˡ ʲᵍ ᵂᵉⁿᵗʷᵒʳᵗʰ ⁸⁷⁷ ᶜᵃˢʰ ⁿᵒʷ
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Bethany Black
about 1 month ago
No one: Teenage boys walking out the barbers:
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Granite Man
about 1 month ago
I liked your ambiguously worded post because I know exactly what you’re talking about (there is an 80% chance I am wrong).
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BooBooKitty
about 1 month ago
If at first you don’t succeed, lay down and let the forest absorb you.
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Airport workers know that behind every brand new car wrapped with a HUGE red bow in the parking lot at Christmas, there’s a cheating spouse just begging for forgiveness.
about 1 month ago
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CrazyMyra
about 1 month ago
Update: In a perfect Monday denouement, it turns out I ruined my entire weekend worrying about something that took 10min to fix.
add a skeleton here at some point
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Tyler, from the Internet
about 1 month ago
legitimately
add a skeleton here at some point
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Bill Melots
about 1 month ago
How the Grinch Got His Groove Back
add a skeleton here at some point
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Crustfundbabies
Cosmic Clau
about 1 month ago
How the Grinch Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
add a skeleton here at some point
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Charles Louis Richter
about 1 month ago
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
add a skeleton here at some point
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Mary
about 1 month ago
I thought I was mad, but it was just because I had on a winter coat with a shoulder strap purse.
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BlindCoyote 🔜ANE
about 1 month ago
Slay the dragon? Nah Baby gorl, Dragon gonna Slay!
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Is it a guilty pleasure for someone who’s 5’2” to have a new obsession for watching videos of taller people struggling to jump on & off their new extra-tall platform beds they added both a box spring and mattress to? Because my tiny lil’ cackling ass doesn’t feel guilty at all. Welcome to our world
about 1 month ago
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David Thompson
about 1 month ago
Share a Witch with good style. 🧙♀️👗
add a skeleton here at some point
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laperla
about 1 month ago
share a witch with good style. 🧙♀️👗
add a skeleton here at some point
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Crustfundbabies
CrazyMyra
about 1 month ago
Not many left on the shelves this year
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Jen the Feisty Librarian
about 1 month ago
I’ve worked in public libraries for 20 years, today was the first time we’ve had to tell someone they couldn’t bring their chainsaw in the library.
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Fun
about 1 month ago
hey, people in my phone in my hand, can you help me find my phone
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Just Call Me Amanda🐈⬛🐈⬛
about 1 month ago
Share a witch with good style 🧙🏻♀️
add a skeleton here at some point
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