Today's the day folks!

Slightly diminish a book. Rosemary's Embryo

It’s a page of nonsense to print off and colour in to keep a child busy while you cook or for you to have some calm crayons time. Merry Christmas!

Starting my Christmas day the best and most festive way possible with @wrestleme.bsky.social wrestle memas Lets ho ho ho Wrestle Memas Pete, Wrestle Memas Marc!

Not long now until you-know-who comes down the chimney. That’s right-

Unbelievably, #DuvetKnowItsChristmas generates such good will on social media that over the years we've raised somewhere approaching a quarter of a million quid for homeless charities. If you can spare a bob or two, sling some to Centrepoint, and here's the link: www.gofundme.com/f/duvet-know...

Sport FACT: Tennis star Coco Gauff’s full name is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio Coco Gauff.

“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”

When your AI video of you declaring yourself king and then dropping a massive liquid shit on America is A Bit Too Subtle

Them: “no one had pronouns in my day” A TV Character from their day:

An OpenAI executive said GPT-5 found solutions to 10 "previously unsolved" math problems when in reality all it did was find online references to places where people had already solved them techcrunch.com/2025/10/19/o...

You can technically install Tinder on a Kindle but it's dangerous if you get a match

New in PN: Trump's invasion "The Trump administration’s war on cities just entered a new, more terrifying phase. What stage of fascism is it when the president defies a court order and sends troops into a city anyway? Because as of Sunday, that’s where we’re at."

Old stand-up gag of mine being repurposed by someone who can’t think of their own story. Bless.

Women’s football could be improved by know-it-all men shutting the fuck up about it.

When I was a football-obsessed child - and frankly a not shit as a player - I'd turn up to every training session available. All but one turned me away: "No girls, I'm afraid. FA rules". Now, no girl lacks a place to play. Millions of people are watching England's women win tournaments.

Wasn't going to be anyone else, was it?

Hampton though. Tough as anything. Breakout star. Love her. #TheFootball #Euro2025

Incredible scenes! I don’t really know how to deal with watching an England football team who just win penalty shootouts!

That's Dame Chloe Kelly I think you'll find.

Annnnnnnnnd STILL European Champions!!! What an achievement, what a team!! Kelly and Hampton are fucking heroes!!! I'm off to have finish this heart attack now after all the stress.

If Hannah Hampton has no depth perception, my helpful suggestion for the men's team is that they poke one of Jordan Pickford's eyes out.

Why have we not brought on Aggie Beever-Jones?!

Russoooooo!!

Come on the #Lionesses #Euros2025 #EngVsEsp

I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone

What a frustrating 45mins of football for England fans. Sweden were brilliant and deservedly 2 - 0 up. #Euros #SweVEng

How was Lundkvist not booked there? #Euros #SweVsEng

AC Milan’s full name is air conditioning Milan.

Good luck to Wales and England today at the #Euros 🤞 its a win for both teams

Holy fuck, Robert Smith wt Olivia Rodrigo at #Glastonbury awesome

clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, in a strictly organised clowns and jokers shop

Trans is not an ideology unless you think your right to be who you are is an ideology rather than a basic human right. Let people be who they want to be. Let people do what we all do throughout our lives, just trying to work out how and who to be in a world of challenges.

Currently obsessed trying to clear The Tunnel in #BluePrince Is it possible? There's got to be something down there, right?

Are there two words in the English language loaded with more deception than "peel here"

would you like a single-story long house that has zero light and no storage and a garden shaped like a pencil for the low low price of 450k? Consider London

LOL! Local youths in the park are trying to trick gullible passers-by into paying a €2 fee to sit on the bench 😂😂 Hope no-one's stupid enough to fall for it. It's much more cost-effective to purchase their €25 monthly bench ticket like I did.

Please don't make me be the new pope. I don't want to work at Christmas or weekends and I don't know the words to all the prayers. I AM NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS JOB. I URGE YOU TO CHOOSE SOMEONE ELSE.

People who can't create wanting to take the work of those who can so they can keep the profits of it for themselves

Can I make a suggestion for his wake without upsetting anyone

none of Jack or Elon's companies would exist without IP law. Neither of them are offering to give up their patents, trademarks, or other IP. They just hate artists.

"Sorry. The water's quite hard round here." *turns on tap* *Jason Statham squeezes out into the sink* "Making tea, are you? You cunt."

I say this as a sick person, but if you need to take literal handfuls of supplements to get you through the day and are not a sick person or a professional athlete, you might consider trying to sleep past 5 am and without “mouth tape” on and see if that helps.

The world Trump and Musk dream of - anyone who puts their personal profits in jeopardy gets a lengthy prison sentence and anyone who makes them the butt of a joke is beaten up www.chortle.co.uk/news/2025/03...

Wrestler drawings from 2017. When my son was small and I wasn’t selling anything

“I’m doing good things,” I tell myself as I delete the military service of a dead woman. “I’m still a good person.”

Folks, I have been watching TASKMASTER paying close attention (close your ears if you hate spoily things). Here’s what I think, tell me if I’m wrong. I think some of these tasks are made difficult ON PURPOSE.

If you want a break from the horrors of the news, may I suggest a free, six episode horror-comedy-murder-mystery-mock-doc about the world's best loved ventriloquist? Featuring interviews with his former dummy? And suspects getting murdered in increasingly theatrical ways? youtu.be/9wD6ndC_8hI?...

1. Today the Tories unveil their new policy: ripping up the commitment to net zero by 2050. Kemi Badenoch, with no evidence, claims "it can’t be achieved without a serious drop in our living standards or by bankrupting us." What the evidence shows is the opposite. We can't prosper without it. 🧵