Kemi Badenoch tells the BBC's Matt Chorley that if she were prime minister, Donald Trump would simply not be like this.

They better do this. It has become very silly. And service charges too. Just gouging

"Invading Greenland? That's not going to lower grocery prices for the average American family."

[sombrely, with tears in eyes] "truly the people of Iran embody the great spirit of Flumpo The Fart Wizard" - author of Flumpo The Fart Wizard

Happy Christmas 🎄

that's not very presidential 😡

feels like the kind of movie that Bojack Horseman gets cast in as a side plot

got the new Lily Allen album stuck in my head, which most involved me periodically saying "who's Madeline?"

“Tucked away on Boundary Road in the heart of Walthamstow, this Victorian home is a rare opportunity for those with an eye for design and a taste for transformation”

A ROAST IN A BEEF GIANT YORKSHIRE PORK PUDDING TURKEY

Jentry Chau Vs The Underworld has been nominated for a freaking EMMY for Outstanding Writing! I TOLD YOU ALL IT WAS REALLY GOOD deadline.com/2025/11/chil...

the answer to our problems is Wes Streeting

are... are... are we chaos with ed milliband?

Hopefully the next director of the BBC will take note of the fact that you can never ever capitulate enough to satisfy these right-wing maniacs, eventually they will demand your head regardless of how many other people you threw under the bus for them. I won't hold my breath though.

Gary Lineker: "This is the mistake the BBC makes. The BBC tries to appease the people that hate the BBC, rather than worrying about the people that love the BBC."

Rightmove: No sale history on this property! Tis but a new house fresh to market. Zoopla: All right this fucking train wreck has been sold every two years for the last decade - here's a full sale history - and look how much of the piss these current wankers are taking with their asking price

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO FUCKING REWRITE WHAT I'VE JUST WRITTEN!"

The rule of "if someone states a plan out loud, then the plan won't work. If someone doesn't state what the plan is, the plan will work" ruins a lot of film and TV - you're welcome.

"Every character in films brushes their teeth too hard, it's a bad influence", my dentist said, sadly

After many visits to Spain, I have drawn these conclusions: - The best draft beer is Estrella Galicia - The best bottle of beer is Cruzcampo (has to be v cold) - The best can of beer is Alhambra This subject has been thoroughly researched but I welcome peer review.

You're absolutely right — starting a land war in Asia wasn't just a bad call, it's 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀. Thank you for calling me out on that — really. I'll be extra-strategic from now on. Would you like me to get cracking on those 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗻 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿?

thank you Mr Musk, but we are doing just fine dismantling it ourselves

hello darkness my old friend

EVERY HOUSE OF GUINNESS SCENE: "I will never agree to do this thing you just asked me" "What if I restated my idea again, more eloquently, and then I hold out my hand to you and look you in the eye?" The two characters look at each other. Long beat. Irish music plays. CUT TO them doing the thing.

So Lib Dems exaggerate Farage's support for gun control. This leads to a "What does Farage think about guns?" explainer article. Repeating this links him to a policy everyone in UK hates/is fearful of. This is what far right does with EVERYTHING, and so it is good to see it used against them too.

Is this just responding to some bad polling on their left flank? Is it real? Impossible to know anymore. He's made himself the emptiest of vessels www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

"actually, your sums on how you would deport hundreds of thousands of people don't add up, so checkmate mr farage," said labour

The Hallowe'en barrier has fallen. We are overrun

"we really need more podcasts, there just aren't enough podcasts" said everyone

if you don't like this wonky cross I spray painted on the wall of a dental practice then u h8 this country

Rewriting something that sucks is infinitely harder than starting from a blank page. And I expect our AI bros will recognise this fact and pay us more to do this kind of work!

soon, all of the people my identical twin brother met as he worked the fringe this year will come back to London and wave at me in the Soho Theatre

The Bear should have sitcom style applause play every time a famous actor turns up for a cameo

Do you reckon Coruscant is actually just one city with the Jedi temple and Senate in, and the rest is data centres?

Weapons is totally great. Somehow also really funny whilst being properly scary and compelling all the way through. Definitely go see it in the cinema because you want to be with a crowd going "what the fuck" a lot.

Zoopla's new AI room designer sure is something. Just look at this run-down living room. With a bit of TLC you could have... er... toilet stairs? Why have a window when you could have some lovely art? Like this picture of bricks!

Playwrights! Screenwriters! Friends of playwrights and screenwriters! If you're in London on the 24th July PLEASE join us for a #SupportPlaywrightsSummerSocial at Soho Theatre Walthamstow. Pls share.

In any city, spaces like this are a hidden asset. It’s where freelancers gather and work, spending money, and making economically worthwhile things. So much creative stuff gets initiated in these commercially liminal locations. There should be a way of defending them.

simply click on the "property sale history" tab on rightmove to feel sad

Of all the memes I've saved, this one has aged like a fine wine.

It's the "you don't wonder what job to apply for" bit that gets me. Like you'll get a call offering you the post of deputy strategy manager at Anderson & Billick Bespoke Logistical Solutions and you'll be like "What even is that?"

Every finale of the Traitors is lineup made of a traitor with a haunted expression who has had to sell their soul to get here, a smart faithful who has agonised for days but has finally figured it out, and the dumbest mf alive kept around because they are dumb who somehow has the deciding vote.

As always, he holds the opinion of whoever just spoke to him

This typo on deadline is probably literally accurate

“Is this a dagger I see before me?” Weight: 3 Damage: 11 +2 bonus against kings of Scotland

North London people: "Holding my birthday drinks at this central-ish location near to a tube". South London people: "Everyone get down to fucking penge".

applying for jobs again

Thank you Google for emailing me every couple of days to remind me that I've turned a tracking setting off

Loving the sass in this article

Rightmove ads be like "and here is the second bedroom. We currently use it to contain a single desk and chair, but it's definitely a second bedroom... 450k pls"