Every discussion I’ve heard about Iran so far has included at least some version of “well it might all go really well and there won’t be any problems”. Yes, in the same way I *might* win the Heavyweight Championship of the world. But the odds are pretty firmly against it.

OK, the Gorton and Denton by-election, I have some thoughts! Let's take a look at some of the FACTS and burst a few of the more ridiculous takes doing the rounds But first up, can we acknowledge just what bad losers Reform are?!🤣 Right, let's get started... 🧵 1/

Sometimes the metaphors are just a bit too on the nose

Starmer's ability to find the exact sweetspot which pisses off everyone is extraordinary. He's a savant.

Always enjoyable when a line in a play takes on a new topical relevance. Watched Into The Woods yesterday and there was a big laugh when the Witch said “you can’t rely on the Royal Family”. To give her credit, she only gave the tiniest of twinkles to the audience in that moment.

The main thing is that this is nothing like the attack on Iraq. It’s a whole letter different.

I wonder how Salman Rushdie is feeling tonight? That’s the second Ayatollah he’s outlived.

I realize that "Orwellian" is over used but come on.

This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t

Trump pivoting hard to the Nobel War Prize

Those leader reactions today: Starmer: This is disappointing Badenoch: I'm disappointed in you Farage: MUSLIMS

Suddenly the will of the people is completely wrong

A by-election reaction pod is coming… but in the meantime @seththevoz.bsky.social, @youngvulgarian.marieleconte.com, @zoegrunewald.bsky.social & @mattgreencomedy.com discuss the endless Mandelson scandal ➡️ linktr.ee/ohgodwhatnowpod

More like Matt It’s Good He Didn’t Win in fact (am I doing this right?)

Hannah Spencer walking into Westminster, sucking her teeth, tutting, and muttering "tell you what, you've had some cowboys in here."

🚨BREAKING🚨 Robert Jenrick has defected from Reform to the Greens.

The Starmer government continues to generate headlines that sound like they come from a disappointing copy of The Day Today

Delighted to see I Swear winning awards at the Baftas - it's a brilliant and important film with great performances and I hope this encourages even more people to see it.

Spent a couple of hours this afternoon at soft play with my nephew. He had a lovely time - I’m now googling symptoms of PTSD 😀

This clip is all over the other place and has made its way onto GB News and Talk TV so I’ll do a bit of an explainer here too! The clip doing the rounds is of a fantastic police officer telling a group of Muslim men that a Christian preacher nearby is entitled to freedom of expression. 🧵 1/19

As I said yesterday, America, your usual tourist demographic from friendly countries don't hate you. We're not holidaying in America anymore because your police keep doing this and so you are considered an unsafe state to travel to.

Perfect

I’ve spent a lot of time this year running The 99 Club and I would really appreciate it if you could vote for us at the Chortle Awards for Best. Comedy Venue. There are also loads of good comics to vote for in other categories as well! www.chortle.co.uk/news/2026/02...

Teaching? It’s hit and miss! Live at The 99 Club

Always wanted to play at The Oval. This will probably be the closest I’ll get to that! Lovely gig though.

Excited to see Phil Wang's Work in Progress show tonight at 8pm at The 99 Club. There are still a handful of tickets left if you fancy it. He's also being supported by the excellent @alexkealy.bsky.social and I'm MCing so it should be a great night! fixr.co/event/phil-w...

📳 NEW EDITION 📳 Nobody wants a wider war in Europe, but we might get one anyway. How can we prepare our military and wider society to deter Putin – or maybe fight him? 📲 Ed Arnold of @rusi.bsky.social talks to @rostaylor.bsky.social & @rafaelbehr.bsky.social 📲 Listen: linktr.ee/ohgodwhatnow...

and you won't be able to see that that's what's happening. the park should not be full of broken glass. you can't just ban children from the play area and call the problem solved. 1) they now have no play area 2) everyone else is still getting cut to ribbons

I read Max Olesker’s Making The Cut and found it gripping, challenging and also very funny. A window into a very different world and a commendably honest account of what it takes to commit to a very difficult process for the sake of love. Highly recommended.

Won't be a revelation to anyone but the reason all the worst people on the right are pivoting to talking about race and culture rather than immigration is so they can keep banging the drum even as net migration figures fall (UK) and even reverse (US). This is the next step and it always was.

Counterpoint to Rubio: guilt and shame are both good things to be shackled by if you have done things you should be guilty about and ashamed of. Do you know who isn’t shackled by guilt and shame? A psychopath.

Some guys behind me discussing how much they love the new Wuthering Heights film. So tempted to ask if they want my autograph. #cameo #backofmyhead #registrar

If you’re going to see “Wuthering Heights” this week, keep an eye out for this guy!* *well, the back of his head and voice anyway…a bit of a shame you don’t get to see the rest of me as I thought hair and costume did a good job! But tbf Jacob Elordi is probably hotter

This doesn’t bode well for the lessons

He certainly had a type

I absolutely loved Jess Robinson’s new book Life Is Rosi. A funny, fascinating and very moving story about her grandmother’s escape from the Holocaust and how that experience echoes down the years in complicated ways for her and her family. A genuine page turner. harpercollins.co.uk/products/lif...

I'm convinced AI is our generation's radium - a discovery with genuinely useful applications in specific, controlled circumstances that we stupidly put in everything from kid's toys to toothpaste until we realised the harm far too late where future generations will ask if we were out of our minds.

If you’re looking for a fun Valentines evening, The 99 Club has some great comedy shows (and dinner packages available too): www.99clubcomedy.com/valentinesday/ And if you’re looking for a fun present, what about tickets to see the brilliant Phil Wang the following week? fixr.co/event/phil-w...

This amused me greatly 😂 especially the fox painting 😂 Thank yoooo @cheekybudgie.bsky.social

At the moment no part of me wants to support the USA but the fact they have India 79/6 in the T20 World Cup is undoubtedly very funny indeed. India will probably still win but it would be incredible for them to lose their first match of the tournament- and to the USA! #cricket

In case you missed it. I’ve watched this about 10 times already. I can tell I’m a luvvie at heart because a part of me genuinely thinks that this should be played every time anyone in Reform makes a speech.

Between this and the video of Ian McKellen being mesmerising quoting Shakespeare’s Stranger’s Case on Colbert, it’s been a good couple of days for hope, humour and humanity in politics. Also: literally every press conference should have a mini podium and some kids like this.

Gladwell spends the first half of every book going: “This simple idea explains everything!” Then the second half is “except when it doesn’t”

The SNL UK cast looks very exciting. Lots of very talented and funny people. It has a *slight* Pleasance Courtyard vibe but that’s not very surprising I suppose. I look forward to seeing what they come up with!

🎯

So this “NO one has been accused of any wrongdoing”

Who is in the Epstein files?

Excited to announce that Phil Wang will be appearing at The 99 Club on Wed 18 Feb with a Work in Progress show ahead of his Australian and UK tours later this year! Don't miss your chance to see him in an intimate venue for a very reasonable price... fixr.co/event/phil-w...

Excited to announce that Phil Wang will be appearing at The 99 Club on Wed 18 Feb with a Work in Progress show ahead of his Australian and UK tours later this year! Don't miss your chance to see him in an intimate venue for a very reasonable price... fixr.co/event/phil-w...

The Ed Gamble show at The 99 Club tonight is now sold out but we have another exciting special guest joining us soon for a WIP show - to be the first to get the chance to buy tickets then sign up to the mailing list here: lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/rqmMtoJ/9...