@lisatea.bsky.social look what ma moo found in M&S

Got the Royal Doulton out, lads...

Happy mother's day.

Seen that 'drop something brown' thing on here, but I've been doing that since Thursday 😬💩

I can't trust a fart, lads.

I fucken love Clannad. #totp

Such a girl crush on Shirley #totp

My tummy hurts but I'm being really brave about it.

Tomorrow me will thank today me for going to Sainsbury's to get all the ingredients for Sunday's mother's day high tea. Well she'd better thank me or I'll punch her in the tits.

British people who say 'thrifting' Straight in the bin.

Dicky tummy dot com.

So tired. Can someone write me a note so I don't have to do PE, please?

It's happened again, lads...

If you're in my Fortnite squad and your wearing a Kardashian skin I'm not rebooting you.

Square yoghurt pots should be illegal. Good day.

I woke up at 1 minute past 10 this morning. I'm in my hibernation era clearly. 😬

All 3 finalists are so deserving of the win, but I'm team Angharad through and through. Saying that, I think Elham might have this. #potterythrowdown

Rugby player's hair styles. What's going on there then?

Love a bit of Abba too. #totp

I fucken love Andy Williams. Do with that what you will. #totp

Bro looked like Frodo in a puffer jacket #totp

Playing Fortnite earlier in a random squad. Child's voice on the chat: Are you a lady? Me: Yes CV: How old are you? Me: Old enough to be your mum. Why aren't you in school? CV: has left the chat. 😂

Just enjoyed a compilation of people getting wiped out by those vacuum packed mattresses.

Sorry that your girlfriend thinks the Disney font is 'classy'

Me, watching 24 hours in police custody and identifying the perp after 10 seconds of them being interviewed.

Christ, is there anything more exhausting than a young colleague with main character syndrome?

Sorry I gave you lockjaw. I got this nose piercing set off Shein.

Things I didn't think I'd be saying today: "I spilt bean juice on Morrissey's face."

I remember when all this wasn't windmills.

I don't know about you lot, but I like to be INCREDIBLY COMFORTABLE™

Glorious weather here today on the Costa del Moo. Got my ankles out and everything. I'll be wearing a halter neck and no bra next, lads.

Been invited to a karaoke themed 50th birthday, lads

Once my luncheon has gone down I'm going out to potter in the garden. It's glorious out there, and the front need a good tidy up. Kerb appeal is important, great lads.

Just flicked toothpaste in my eye and when I rubbed it MOAR toothpaste went in my eye from my finger. I GET PAID FOR PEOPLE TO LEAVE THEIR PRECIOUS CHILDREN WITH ME.

Flicking channels and found something called 'The Floor' and seriously what is this fucken nonsense?

With my glasses, hearing aid and Smiths t-shirt I'm surprised I don't get bullied more often.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor is great isn't she? She should do Eurovision for us.

Am I doing it right?

Playing Fortnite on random squads and there are some ABSOLUTE DICKSPLINTS on here today.

Had a really positive day yesterday working with a little boy who's incredibly anxious. Got him talking, engaging in play and out of the younger children's area and into the preschool where he should be. So satisfying when you see a child make progress 🥰

Ironic song choice there for Duffy considering what happened to the poor lass.

PLAY MORE SISTERS OF MERCY YOU BUMSPLATS. #totp

My lucky number two? Is that where you don't have to wipe? #totp

Freddie leathered up to the eyeballs and John dressed like your da. #totp

Yer man is throwing himself about like a nine year old boy at the school disco. #totp

My snacks are better than yours.

Do people who spend all day arguing with strangers on the internet, and trying to always have the last word, realise how boring they are?

I have AN MEETING. 😒

Back once again with the readymade pasta.

Making himself a roast chicken dinner, because what better way to show someone you love the bones of them than by cooking them a delicious plate of roast 🥰