*approaches October slowly with a piece of apple in my hand*

Look, I love dogs and cats as much as the next guy, but I think it's time as a society we collectively decide to mass domesticate another animal. Right now, I'm leaning red panda.

August doesn't get enough credit for being the worst month.

I've helped her out -- can anyone else do likewise?

Laying on an operating table with a catheter being shoved into your jugular is not an ideal time to hear "your my 8th patient".

When they keep giving you advanced care directive info and you're like but I'm not even old yet. 🫠

sorry to ask again but

How much of this sleepytime tea does it take for like a 2-4 day coma

Live, laugh, launch a revolution

LEFT: Where our government incarcerates a person who has a tattoo in honor of a family member. RIGHT: Where our government incarcerates a person who has facilitated and/or engaged in the sexual assault of over a thousand children.

I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.

Sir, I'm gonna need you to put the hashtags down and slowly back away.

And like, obviously, it’s not a requirement, but it would be helpful if the things that annoy me also annoy you. So let’s start by going through this list.

We had a job interviewee not show up today. No call, no email. I wore a blouse for this, Erica.

When I close my eyes to sleep, I try to only think of puppies and kittens and Godzilla stomping on Mar-a-Lago.

Sometimes I feel as if we’re all Schrodinger's cat.

Venmo: SSparkles

It is humbling af to plead for help across 4 platforms and be ignored on all of them. HARSH. 🫠😂

I just got Babbel so I can learn how to complain in other languages

I was about to yell at the guy who cut me off but alas, the vape pen is mightier than the sword

All facts.

Maybe he counted Mississippiless

I hate in shows where they say shit like “oh, I’ve got desert for you at home 😉” If I got home and dessert was sex and not cake, I’d be fucking irate.

Oh, come ON, people!!! May he who hasn’t been gifted a $400 million golden plane from a foreign government cast the first stone!

No one gives someone a $400 million dollar jet for free without expecting anything in return. Be serious.

Its swimsuit season, I whisper, eating another swimsuit

"A rapist and a murderer share a giggle."

If I had to guess I wouldn't.

Broke down on the side of the information highway

Constant daily reminders that your life means absolutely nothing to anyone.

Sharing this here as well. Disabled from cancer, lupus, and now heart failure. Trying to survive without much support. Anything helps.

Constant daily reminders that your life means absolutely nothing to anyone.

Expressing myself one deleted post at a time.

No thanks, love potion, I’d rather eat glass.

Time has run out on the whole "don't give a shit" mentality. It's time to care or we're all fucked. xo

What if god was one of us Just a slob like one of us Just a dude on his couch watching people take each other out eating hot Cheetos and ibuprofen and not sleeping enough

Members of an immigrant family in Worcester, Massachusetts were targeted, terrorized, and seized by ICE agents this week. The father was taken into custody by ICE on Wednesday, and agents returned to the family’s home Thursday to execute an arrest of the mother — without a warrant. Worcester…

Imagine me naked. Wrong. More donuts.

Nothing matters. Eat that 10pm giant bowl of off brand honey nut cheerios with a bunch of sugar dumped on it because literally nothing matters anymore

Just googled "Does bologna damage car paint in hot weather" for no particular reason.

China changing the message in all US-bound fortune cookies to things like: "You voted for this", or "Out of stock"

In Kathmandu, some felines moonlight as Google information kiosks

Thanks for all the mental illness, god!

Shhhh nobody move. I just got my dog to take a nap.

A fish flavoured gum, call it chewshi...and send

All of the beauty within arm's reach as my soul watches the clock tick away.

I do step A and B, but then cave and go "that's future me's problem" and buy it anyhow

FAVORITE POSTS OF THE DAY! 🩵🗽☕️ 🦋 👀 🙃💙 🌎 🎶 🐾 May 9, 2025 Thanks to: @brokenpromisedland.bsky.social @kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com @whattheactualf.bsky.social @ssparklesdaily.bsky.social