With regards to today's pronouncement of 6 more weeks of winter:

I had to go on two diets because one wasn't giving me enough food.

Did you ever notice there are no recipes for leftover chocolate?

Today, I'm thankful for loud music, strong coffee and a good hair day. ['cause sometimes, the little things just have to be enough]

Shout-out to my bud @ourshallowstate.bsky.social te.bsky.social, (we were mutuals over on Twitter), who has the best insight and always makes sense of things. Hopefully, you all can read this okay. (Shallow, I don't see this post on BS) Highly recommend you give him a follow!

When someone tells you their hands are cold, there's a 94% chance they're going to put their hands on you to prove it.

No matter how cold it is, someone is still sleeping with the fan on. [It's me. Fan on. Always. If the air isn't moving, I'll die.]

I yell "STAY" at objects that keep falling over.

Everyone thinks I'm overly dramatic when I'm stressed. When a octopus is stressed, it eats itself. Now, *that's* overly dramatic.

My fitness goal is to weigh what I told the DMV I weigh.

30 days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31, except for January, which has about 973. [sigh]

She believed she could do it, and she almost did, but then someone texted her repeatedly and she lost track of what she was doing. ~ a tale of woe, as old as... well... 2006

Me, driving at 3am: ooh, so fun... so cool... adventure. Me, seeing another car at 3am: what the hell are you up to, you shady bastard

Not to flex or anything, but I used to be a line leader in elementary. [sniffs]

Sometimes when my phone randomly asks for my passcode, I'll punch the numbers in extra hard, just so it knows I'm annoyed.

Sometimes, instead of cleaning my house, I watch an episode of Hoarders and then I think my house doesn't look that bad.

To anyone who's waiting for a response from me: Sorry I'm late. I've lost my grasp on the flow of time and the days have all blended together into a singular, continuous, numbing blur. But, how's your day going? You good?

I just want to live in a world where I don't wind up saying, "What the hell is wrong with people?" every time I open up my feed.

Christmas Eve is less about the calendar and more about the company. The people who make you laugh, let you exhale, and send you into the next day a little steadier than before. I hope you're surrounded by yours tonight. Wishing to you all the love, joy and happiness your hearts can hold~

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cookies and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left? Me: 10.

The way I act when I have to line my wheel up at the car wash, you'd think I was trying to land a 747 on a tightrope.

I refuse to be controlled by a calendar. Happy Election Day 2026, everyone.

🤨

My explanation of today's admin: A bunch of children decided they wanted to play president so they went into the WH and they refused any help. (NO! I CAN DO IT MYSELF!) and that is why we're in this predicament. Toddlers, insisting they do it ALL BY THEMSELVES.

Only a few more mental breakdowns until the new year. C'mon people... we can do this.

Can we just admit we may have taken this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing a bit too far?

🤨

Today's Housekeeping Tip: If you hate cleaning your bathroom, imagine you're covering up a crime. It'll go way faster, be much cleaner, and it's excellent experience for the future. #IWatchTooMuchDateline @joshmankiewicz.bsky.social #ThisIsTheStuffIThinkAboutHelpMe

Me: Ugh. I'm so full, I'm not gonna eat for days. Also me: Are those brownies

"I'm still a thug," I whisper to myself after the can of biscuits popped and made my soul leave my body

😊 (And don't you forget it.)

Seems as if my predictions are as logical as anyone's so... open.substack.com/pub/kathrynk... It's free to read and subscribe!

This is your reminder that people suck and you're going to be irritated today. Do what you gotta do. Just stay out of jail...I don't have money for bail.

I'm not saying that I believe in miracles, but democracy showing faint vital signs feels like a good start. Someone hand me the defibrillator. #YESPROP50

Calling all democracy defenders! 🗳️ March to that ballot box and make your voice heard. When we show up, we don’t just vote — we change what’s possible. 💙 Let’s finish strong and vote like freedom depends on it — because it absolutely does. #VoteDemToday

California ❤️, you have the power to restore democracy. Let's fight 🔥 with FIRE. Let's go! Vote YES on Prop 50 on November 4th. (Thank you for your attention.) #Prop50VoteYes @governor.ca.gov @gavinnewsom.bsky.social

Me: I'm manifesting abundance. Universe: Best I can do is anxiety and an extra 10 pounds.

🤨

The older I get, the more I find myself involuntarily hissing like a vampire when I walk out into the bright sun.

🤔

(Ew. It all makes sense now.)