Christmas Eve is less about the calendar and more about the company. The people who make you laugh, let you exhale, and send you into the next day a little steadier than before. I hope you're surrounded by yours tonight. Wishing to you all the love, joy and happiness your hearts can hold~

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cookies and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left? Me: 10.

The way I act when I have to line my wheel up at the car wash, you'd think I was trying to land a 747 on a tightrope.

I refuse to be controlled by a calendar. Happy Election Day 2026, everyone.

🤨

My explanation of today's admin: A bunch of children decided they wanted to play president so they went into the WH and they refused any help. (NO! I CAN DO IT MYSELF!) and that is why we're in this predicament. Toddlers, insisting they do it ALL BY THEMSELVES.

Only a few more mental breakdowns until the new year. C'mon people... we can do this.

Can we just admit we may have taken this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing a bit too far?

🤨

Today's Housekeeping Tip: If you hate cleaning your bathroom, imagine you're covering up a crime. It'll go way faster, be much cleaner, and it's excellent experience for the future. #IWatchTooMuchDateline @joshmankiewicz.bsky.social #ThisIsTheStuffIThinkAboutHelpMe

Me: Ugh. I'm so full, I'm not gonna eat for days. Also me: Are those brownies

"I'm still a thug," I whisper to myself after the can of biscuits popped and made my soul leave my body

😊 (And don't you forget it.)

Seems as if my predictions are as logical as anyone's so... open.substack.com/pub/kathrynk... It's free to read and subscribe!

This is your reminder that people suck and you're going to be irritated today. Do what you gotta do. Just stay out of jail...I don't have money for bail.

I'm not saying that I believe in miracles, but democracy showing faint vital signs feels like a good start. Someone hand me the defibrillator. #YESPROP50

Calling all democracy defenders! 🗳️ March to that ballot box and make your voice heard. When we show up, we don’t just vote — we change what’s possible. 💙 Let’s finish strong and vote like freedom depends on it — because it absolutely does. #VoteDemToday

California ❤️, you have the power to restore democracy. Let's fight 🔥 with FIRE. Let's go! Vote YES on Prop 50 on November 4th. (Thank you for your attention.) #Prop50VoteYes @governor.ca.gov @gavinnewsom.bsky.social

Me: I'm manifesting abundance. Universe: Best I can do is anxiety and an extra 10 pounds.

🤨

The older I get, the more I find myself involuntarily hissing like a vampire when I walk out into the bright sun.

🤔

(Ew. It all makes sense now.)

I'm at the age where I don't correct my autocorrect anymore. If I text you, "Let's meef fo lunvh," that's your puzzle to solve.

Working on my signs for #NoKings this Saturday, 10/18.

I just voted YES on PROP 50, because my voice is my power. @governor.ca.gov #YesOnProp50 #CaliforniaStrong

I think we should all start texting each other like old timey explorers: "Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist. If I do not make it, clear my browser history."

I didn't wake up today to be average. I woke up because I had to pee.

Grocery List: ~ Coffee ~ Stuff that goes in coffee ~ Stuff to eat with coffee

No Thrones. No Crowns. #NoKings. On October 18, we rise. Not to protect a broken system, but to protect each other. We do not bow to power. We build people power. social.demcast.com/s/ZIOWttVg

Oscar the Grouch has a cousin named Cynthia the Complainer who's a vegan and lives in a recycling bin.

Does lifting things with your teeth make you rich? Nope. Does it get you into Guinness? Sometimes. Does it earn you the eternal respect of people who can't open pickle jars? Absolutely. New (free) post just dropped here 👇🏻 open.substack.com/pub/kathrynk...

Whatever is the opposite of "has their shit together." I'm that.

I'm really surprised my kid's first words weren't, "nice turn signal, asshole."

I've been in bed for 20 minutes and I've just remembered that I only came upstairs for a pen.

'Rage against the machine' never specified what type of machine they were furious with, but I'm guessing it was probably a printer.

"Seriously f'd up" is right. When the day of reckoning comes (and it will), I look forward to seeing every damn one of these criminals go DOWN. WAY down.

She is working on three things right now: Her life. Her peace. And her Halloween decorations. She is me.

"I sent him a long, thoughtful text and he wrote back, 'K.'" [murder trial jury gasps.] Judge: "She's free to go."

Close your eyes...and breathe 💕 www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2g0...