Spoiler alert: Elon Musk will not build a colony or an outpost or so much as an outdoor toilet on the Moon. Not in ten years. Not in twenty years. Not ever. When your dipshit friend or relative expresses excitement over his announcement, just change the subject. There's no point. It's a cult.

If Charlie Kirk has a million haters, then I am one of them. If Charlie Kirk has 10 haters, then I am one of them. If Charlie Kirk has two haters, that’s me too. If Charlie Kirk has one hater, that is because I am dead. If Charlie Kirk has no haters, that is because Erika Kirk is dead.

Schumer: ball’s in your court Republicans: stab the ball, tear it apart, set it on fire, rip up the court and sell the turf to Bahrain Schumer: hey you guys are out of balls Republicans: we’re gonna kill your families Schumer: ok we’ll pass funding for new balls but you’ve GOT to read the rules

I mean, if Musk announced his plan to begin ranching frogs since the average frog weighs 50% more than a cow, you'd think that someone at the FT might pause before putting "frogs, which on average weigh 50% more than cows" in a news story.

Joe Biden had one bad debate and the entire Democratic Party kicked him to the curb in a weekend. Chuck Schumer fails us every day and Democrats act like there’s nothing they can do? Call your Democratic Senators and demand that Schumer step down as Minority Leader.

Elon Musk when he realizes putting people on the moon is difficult: Within 10 years we will put humans in Delaware

Okay, I’ve heard all the criticisms. I agree now that my plan to create a Jonestown on Mars was foolish and dangerous. I will instead be building a much more achievable Jonestown on the Moon

YES!!! All this doom-and-gloom "There won't be any elections" talk Does their work for them STOP As @jamellebouie.net says This kind of doomer talk will suppress the vote in the same way Trump telling GOP voters not to use mail-in ballots repressed their vote

Everybody complains that in Star Wars or Marvel or whatever the galaxy is too small and all the same people are at the center of everything and it's too unrealistic and now the Epstein files are like "Asshole Avengers Assemble"

"some say the Eagles won the last Super Bowl while others push back"

The media should cover sport the way they cover the state murder of civilians: ‘Jannik Sinner appeared to win the French Open yesterday after what supporters say was a comeback from being two sets down.’

BTW when I say abolish ICE, I mean abolish it entirely and replace it with exactly nothing. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. That's it.

dear ICE assholes, the power structure that supports your murderous thuggery is already teetering and will probably not survive the midterms. there *will* be accountability.

At this point, even by the strictest Hobbesian standards, this government has abandoned its duty to serve the public, and is illegitimate.

As @kenwhite.bsky.social has said before: "A government that deliberately abandons the rule of law is not morally entitled to its protections." We have eclipsed that tipping point.

The official policy of the government of the United States of America is that they will murder anyone they want, that they will tell any lie necessary to justify that murder, and that no one who resists them has any rights they are bound to respect. /1

Republicans: everyone must be able to carry any gun at all times, up to and including high powered rifles, to protect themselves against tyranny also Republicans, without batting an eye: carrying a gun is unquestionable justification for federal agents to shoot you dead in the street

“Everyone should be allowed to carry a gun for their safety but the government can murder you in the street if you have a gun” is an incredible endpoint for the conservative moment

We have been told for nearly 30 years that America needed to tolerate mass shootings because the broad availability of guns would help us defend ourselves from an overreaching federal government. That day has come. The people who said this are supporting the federal agents. Many have joined them.

anybody who talks about "bipartisanship" is wholly unserious at this point

Democratic leaders need to fear being branded as collaborators more than they fear being called soft on crime

David Brooks: This is a war on blue states Bill Kristol: Abolish ICE Springsteen: ICE is the Gestapo Dems in Congress: Let’s talk body cams and QR codes

Democrats should be the ultimate champions of immigration. “We won two world wars and invented the internet because immigrants get the job done.” Instead they’ve squandered decades chasing the gop on “border security” shit.

weak?

ICE and MAGA really did bet the farm on all of Minneapolis’s white people going “oh yes, please take away our disgusting, evil non-white-foreigner neighbors, oh thank you so much.” it’s beautiful that they’ve been proven incredibly wrong about that - may the rest of the country do the same.

Tim they might have killed a baby tonight what the fuck is your problem

ive seen more articles this week about how the phrase “abolish ice” could hurt dems in the midterms than ive seen articles about how paramilitary death squads terrorizing cities will hurt republicans in the midterms

My whole life, fascism was defined as being stopped by armed, masked agents of the national government who demand your papers, on pain of arrest, injury, or death. That’s now here, and the group of people who warned about that the most are either silent or in favor of it,

don't write songs about it or make tv shows about how bad they feel about their actions or or movies or comics or music videos about it. they are fools. they are an embarrassment to humankind. they are the mcdonalds happy toy version of nazis. our job is to make sure they know it

hey, elected officials? nobody who says anything like revamp or reform or rehabilitate or retrain ICE has my vote. i don't want ICE 2.0. i don't want "hurt and terrorize and murder and abduct my neighbors but in a more socially acceptable way." get them fucking gone and maybe we'll talk

Due to a history of exaggerations, Mr. Adams' death was initially treated as rumor. Disney can now officially confirm Scott's passing, as JD Vance has already fucked his widow.

living in a world where the only two jobs are “gambling” and “murder” isn’t nearly as cool as Cowboy Bebop made it out to be

I get thousands of these and someday I will Squid Game them all into a quiz show and see how smart the “I am very smart”s really are.

In retrospect, restructuring our entire economy around gambling and investment fraud may have been a bad move

One thing we're NOT going to do is wallow in doom and hopelessness right when countless people are joining the fight against our enemies. The situation is awful. That's why so many people are angry, and why they're mobilizing. You can let the horrors overwhelm you, or you can let them fuel you.

We are not obligated to finish the work in this life, but neither are we free to abandon it.

hi Jonathan Ross murdered Renee Good in my city yesterday and they don't want you to know his name is Jonathan Ross. so if you need to know who Jonathan Ross is, that's who Jonathan Ross is. the ICE agent who murdered that woman? yeah his name is Jonathan Ross. fuck you Bluesky.

maybe restructuring modern society around gambling was a bad call

and now, let’s hear from the opposition: (chuck schumer with a sly grin on his face walks to the podium clutching a carton of eggs)

If China bombed the White House, forced the President and the First Lady onto a military plane, flew them out of the country, and announced it on state media would that also be called a “capture” just trying to understand

Does this mean that a foreign country can bomb the US, kidnap Trump and his wife, and let him stand trial in their own country? For crimes against humanity? Anybody?

@marilynstrickland.bsky.social As your constituent I demand that you call for the immediate impeachment and removal of Donald Trump TODAY in response to his illegal and unconstitutional attack on Venezuela and kidnapping of its president

@cantwell.senate.gov As your constituent I demand that you call for the immediate impeachment and removal of Donald Trump TODAY in response to his illegal and unconstitutional attack on Venezuela and kidnapping of its president

@murray.senate.gov I demand that you call for the immediate impeachment and removal of Donald Trump TODAY in response to his illegal and unconstitutional attack on Venezuela and kidnapping of its president

[Jeffries voice] invading venezuela will not help reduce the cost of living for hardworking american families

I keep seeing more articles about how they regret it now that the damage is done & I truly believe that if you have any genuine interest in salvaging what’s left of this country then whether you want to or not, you can never forgive these people. You can never let them live what they did down.

I think about this tweet every day