[to the tune of bob seger’s night moves] suckin’ on my wife’s boobs

Israel is destroying Amirkabir university in Tehran, the same program of scholasticide they executed in Gaza.

Harry Potter has been killed in a drunk driving accident. his last words before wrestling his keys away from his friends were reportedly “if I die, burn all of my books. it’s the morally correct thing to do.”

do you think the Harry Potter show is going to adapt the multiple times Harry saved the day by going to the girls’ bathroom? are they going to do the part where they take a transformation potion in the girls bathroom? or is JK Rowling going to accuse herself of being a pedophile

Six years into the PS5’s life cycle and it is one hundred and fifty dollars more expensive than when it launched during a global supply chain crisis

People do not want to deal with the friction of shame and embarrassment for their own choices and I think that’s deeply unbecoming and makes them more pathetic. They actively choose to make bad decisions while also being too weak to face the consequences of them. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

I remember when @dannyvegito.bsky.social criticised use of ChatGPT (I think?) and people kept commenting saying things like “but I only use it for X or Y” and he responded, “I’m not a priest. I’m not going to absolve you.” And I think that’s the perfect response and applies to a lot, including this.

god he posts like Elon Musk. what a loser

Spec Ops: The Line Rock your body in time

incredible work on this one

motherfucker get a JOB

SEO slop article that comes up when you search anything: To understand Kieran Culkin wife, one must ask: who is this venerable spouse? Does she have a height in meters? What proclivities may have driven her to be Culkin wife?

I sang Temporary Secretary at a karaoke night once and woke up the next morning feeling deeply embarrassed about it. it would not be the last time I sang Temporary Secretary at that bar

Chainsaw Man

So basically Epic purchased Aquiris, which was iirc the biggest Brazilian game studio at the time, just to let it and its history be vanished from existence, cool

Fellow Criterion Channel subscribers check your email because they’re doing a 24 hour flash sale at noon today and they sent us $10 gift codes

Our Super Mario Bros (1993) ep is here and we are joined the multi-award winning writer and Dumpster Racoon @meakoopa.bsky.social to chat deleted scenes, lost drafts, on-set drama and whether this movie is a sacred leftest text. Join us in a few minutes to Do the Dinosaur: youtu.be/N8iSChLVzRs?...

A NEW episode of Select and Start is out NOW! @poorquentyn.bsky.social of @notacast.bsky.social drops in to talk about Sly 2: Band of Thieves & the impact it made on his life! Listen to us talk Sly, Sucker Punch, and the rise & fall of 3D platformers! select-and-start.pinecast.co/episode/b1fc...

It is horrifying to bear witness to the evil America inflicts on the world every single day, but the world can now see how much damage how a simple act of resistance can inflict against this empire. America depends on the world not fighting back. It is forceful, but it is not all-powerful.

NEW THE CRAWL VIDEO: This SNES RPG Shouldn’t Exist (But I’m Glad It Does) youtu.be/NSEWl-jD-UU?...

Everything in this decade is building up to an Ari Aster film starring Adam Sandler

me clicking Endless Mode after every successful Balatro run

there won't be a "third impact" Mulder, the entire concept is a fantasy you created to avoid reckoning with painful, deep seated psychosexual fears and insecurities. think about it. this "impact" just happens to specifically address your worst— (third impact begins) many things could be causing this

Mueller’s FBI persecuted Muslims nationwide. He was responsible for one of the most egregious, systemic violations of civil rights in the history of the FBI, which is saying a whole lot. This was Mueller’s FBI:

drop the “media.” just “illiterate.” it’s cleaner.

you're actually supposed to kiss your girlfriend. it's one of the top girlfriend activities.

drop the “media.” just “illiterate.” it’s cleaner.

🌀Ohhhh you wanna download all my podcast episodes🌀You want to praise my work and contribute to my continued livelihood sooo bad🌀it feels so good to join my Patreon🌀

oh nice, my interview with that Louis Theroux fellow made it into the documentary, let’s see how it turned out [sees the evil in my soul is obvious to the world and immortalized on film for eternity] uh oh

Gotta admit, it’s good clickbait

[leprechaun Neil Young] I’m searching for a pot of gold

I DON’T BELIEVE OUR CHARACTERS HAVE BEEN FORMALLY INTRODUCED TO ONE ANOTHER. I AM THE ANTAGONIST. I EXIST IN DIRECT OPPOSITION TO YOUR GOALS AND VALUES. YOU AND I WILL NOT INTERACT AGAIN BUT REST ASSURED I WILL BE DOING VERY BAD THINGS FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE FILM.

[Smooth by Santana ft. Rob Thomas voice] My muñequita, my Homer Marge Bart Maggie Lisa

he’s like Trump’s Dorian Gray portrait

Paul is my favorite of the Beatles because his music sounds like it could be in a Mario game

movies are about a low but never zero percent chance of stephen root showing up

broke country

COMPUTER! SHOW ME JOBS! -Scam -Scam -Scam -Evergreen posting -AI company -AI company -Senior position -Senior position -Scam -Senior position at AI company -Scam -Senior position -Evergreen senior position -AI company

There’s going to be a rapid acceleration of solar power in America and it will be because they’re losing control over the world’s oil supply. America responds to capital, not compassion.

thought this was really beautiful

I really hate to do this, but it’s lowkey an emergency with a few grand of housing bills that weren’t expected. I lowkey need about $3k just to make it to next month. My Venmo is @ckthompson94 - any help is massive. 🖤 venmo.com/u/ckthompson94

note in a Resident Evil game: Hey babe. Left you something real hot in the safe I usually use to store all my guns and ammo. The password is the sexiest number. ;) Leon Kennedy: hm. this is a tough one.

nemesis is so funny conceptually. the ultimate bio-weapon. an undefeatable hunter. millions of dollars of research from the most evil corporation on earth. its target? a specific division of a single local midwestern police department

Sally Rooney: "By standing in solidarity with Palestine, we are learning how to fight for life on earth"

Timothy Olyphant Goku: you best leave my boy alone and get outta here if you know what’s good for you Walton Goggins Vegeta: I reckon there’s more fun to be had on this here rock Danny McBride Nappa: I came here with 10 tons of kick and I intend to see it delivered to your ass

WOMEN HOLD UP HALF THE SKY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

You’re doing their work for them. Fascism is an ideology of aesthetic and will co-opt anything and everything it can. it doesn’t matter what the underlying message is when the ideology demands that you never look deeper than the skin.