cant believe we went straight to "chatbot that drives you insane" and skipped right over "vending machine you can fuck"

it is cursed just like my brain

Getting out of my comfort zone* *bed

Discard me like one of your French drafts

Please disregard my glowing red weak spot, it will go away on its own in a few seconds

CEOs have slowly transformed into the aliens from Independence Day, and it is our patriotic duty to fly Randy Quaid straight up their butts

So, I guess I am here for a long time, not a good time. My sincerest apologies

I wonder if Burt Reynolds called it his burthole.

freedom 250 is just state-sanctioned fyre festival

anyway, here's what's in a wonder ball

Long story short, jokes about constipation always feel forced.

I am slothmaxxing

I hope it happens during the UFC fight

can’t rn i’m ranking chex mix pieces from least to most edible

Post-clarity nut

AI is perfect for those without their own original thoughts

What a time to be alive? In this economy?

The veiled Buddhism of Unreal Tournament

I like that this website goes to sleep at a reasonable hour

Ariel's first mistake was wanting to be where the people are.

you're telling me a crab imitated this meat?!

If you fart while wiping that’s called a dreamcatcher

I am Spartacuss

Post-clarity nut

What kind of beats does a dentist like most? 4 on the fluoride

Well, if you say so...

what did i do ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Forrest Hump (Sex Trek was taken. Actual porn name. As was Sex Trek: the Next Penetration)

Shaving Ryan’s Privates

Make a movie into porn: The Fuck Element

Make a movie into a porn: Full Metal JOI

Make a movie into a porn: Schindler’s Fist

Only legit use for a cybertwuck

A clown store named Serious Business

Getting flashed in Subnautica 2 is fun!

Jpeg stands for "je wanna be pegged"

BRAIN PINKY 2028

Responding “how dare you” to anyone telling me good morning

My brain has a non-stick coating.

personally i don’t think we can trust a beer company to track world records

I admit, AI video generation has come a long way in the last few years, but the people who are most excited about it also seem to be, for the most part, the kind of people who make movies that would suck no matter how they're produced. Like, this movie looks like generic garbage.

I only come to Bluesky to get engagement from posts about how Bluesky is dying

So, what do you do with your belly button lint? - me, flirting