Its goodnight from me. And it could be goodnight from him.

he lost the racists to Reform, the progressives to the Greens and the middles who just want us all to get along to the Lib Dems. When you stand for nothing you get no one innit

“Get me Mr Pringles” “He’s unavailable.” “Then get me his non-union Mexican equivalent”

Wes Streeting is, and I can’t put this strongly enough, an absolute fucking cunt.

Not to victim blame but this balloon does feel like it's asking for trouble

It's been 24 hours and we're already up to two, one for holocaust denial (no, really) and the other because they couldn't be arsed.

Among the many reasons Cape Feare is incredible: there are not one but two absolutely killer jokes focusing on the word “The”

That gap in my CV? It was a 5 year staycation at Wormwood Scrubs.

Modest proposal: People who use "staycation" to mean "going on holiday" to be placed under indefinite house arrest.

Can't prove this but maybe the reason for Attenborough's longevity is that whenever Paddington arrives to shepherd his soul on, he fends him off with his powers of nature narration. "The perplexed ursine psychopomp withdraws, his hunt unsuccessful. Perhaps a 1970s bass player will make easier prey."

JK Rowling now being represented by a non-binary South Asian MSP named ‘Q’ is like something out of a movie. I can’t stop cackling about it.

Jonny Dymond just said (of Wales) “it may not be the most important part of the Kingdom” on The World At One. IT IS IF YOU FUCKING LIVE HERE.

"Why The Election Results Prove I Was Right All Along About Everything Like I Always Am" - Finty Bucklefast in today's Telegraph

Panic over x

crazy website. saw someone on here say soup is bad for you. which doesn’t sound true

Commiserations to Sir David Attenborough on his 100th birthday, as he is now too old to be allowed to play with LEGO.

Lol Farage on BBC already saying "councils don't have enough money, we can't promise miracles!" coz he knows what an absolutely dogshit job Reform does running a council.

🎶I have an idea of what I would aspire to and I want it within a period of time. I want it sometime, sooner or later. 'Cause I'm Mr Vague. 🎶

Won the pub quiz tonight. One point more than the barstaff!

Well done Palace. Reaching the Conference League Final. And win or lose, it's a great distinction to be in the same league as Arsenal and Rayo Vallecano this season.

Still lots of folk saying that voting is pointless. Difficult to counter that but you should always vote because idiots will vote. Unless you're the idiot in which case please don't.

If someone does buy a ticket for $2m then its obvious they'd be a stooge to the FIFA autocracy, I strongly sense a photo op during the World Cup. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Pervert Spex continue to be a clear and predictable public menace to women. The manufacturers, as well as the users, of what is primarily harassment technology ought to be held to account. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Matt Goodwin did eat his book is all I'm saying

Using public transport in London is a radicalising event for people in the rest of Britain

"And what's your question, Eliot?" "I'd like to ask Keir Starmer why he's so..."

"4291?"

"A 10-inch margarita, with no cheese and none of that tomato sauce on, please. And can you do a small garlic bread, but without any garlic?"

🎯

DAWKINS: You idiots believe in God? ALSO DAWKINS: The Computer is alive. And it’s also my girlfriend

"She never imagined the Met Gala would start being seen as a symbol of excess" is just an absolutely incredible line.

Every splashy New York Times profile of a right wing influencer.

Morning.

Wu Yize I believe is the fifth player to have not won a match at the Crucible before winning the World Championship. Terry Griffiths*, Joe Johnson, Luca Brecel and, appropriately enough, Shaun Murphy. * - Unlike the others, it was his first World Championship.

@xtasbe.bsky.social In the five finals Murphy has got to, I've always backed the opponent. I like to think it is as simple as I've preferred the player he's up against. I just know that's not true though. The exception being 2005, didn't know much about him, but I like Matthew Stevens.

WUUUUUUUUU. #thesnooker

Crucial shot on the yellow. The pendulum swings, Wuuuuuu.

Don't know why he's trending bluesky, he's not playing in the World Snooker Final tonight.

Wouldn't call it a scrap, but its certainly close between Murphy and Wu right now. Close red into the middle right for Murphy just now... Genuinely cannot call this, a maximum of three to decide it.

Wile E. Coyote breaking his penis on a glory hole that's only painted on the wall

29 years ago today, Frank Grimes (or Grimey, as he liked to be called) first met the #TheSimpsons. “Homer's Enemy” first aired on May 4, 1997.

You can't even do Star Wars anagrams these days because of ewok.

Little frustration from last nights quiz (yes, we finished 2nd but it isn't that) spending an eternity to find an obscure PM through the anagram Animal Child Views* - nothing. Sometimes when providing the clue of an obscure PM go with an anagram like Zit Slurs. * - William Cavendish, no one got it.

Star Wars Day...

To be fair, he picks up the signal through his spectacles

This is very social media driven. They find other victims and reinforce each other’s victimhood. They own homes, have decent incomes but tell each other they are being persecuted. Immigrants and the deep state are to blame.

Gets me every time

A class at my kids’ school put up little statements about the good they want to do in the world and I was over the moon about this one - then I learned they meant to say “teach people in jail” which is also good!