Watching Ever Decreasing Circles where Howard finally snaps and wipes the floor with Martin in the local snooker tournament. This show is such a joy, which is a bit odd as the main character spends nearly the entire time in a state of mental anguish.

"It must be wonderful to be in Toy Story films over and over and over." "Please, kill me."

Worth £275,000 of anyone's money.

"For those of us who have been in government and left and gone into consultancy in the private sector, does that create potential conflicts of interest if we are then invited back into government? I think the answer is probably yes." I don't think the answer is "probably" yes.

It's not just that Southampton's behaviour from the top was utterly reprehensible but it seems they were doing it all, risking punishment and disgrace by knowingly cheating, to find out that Oxford would play with a back four instead of a back five. Insane.

Raise the buns!

Monday.

🎵 Come and get your black bin bags! They're on sale until September...🎵

"Yes! Yes! Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ! I have seen the light!" on BBC Two just now.

"If you enjoyed Soccer Aid at any point in the last 20 years..."

Big Clint, there.

RIP Kelly Curtis. A line reading for the ages. www.youtube.com/watch?v=64Zf...

Why would Gandhi be party to this?

No it isn't.

NAH NAH-NAH NAH-NAH! #TheGoodOldDays

But this time, chiefly, YOURSELVES! #TheGoodOldDays

Ooh, she'd eat him with a spoon if she could. #TheGoodOldDays

Now I bet Frankie Vaughan smells fantastic. Spicy musk and rich mahogany. #TheGoodOldDays

Big Frankie. Int he dishy? #TheGoodOldDays

Poor Elsie. Mike and Bernie must be pretty ripe in those suits under the lights. Fags, booze, cheese n onion and something very vinegarry that you can't quite place. #TheGoodOldDays

Didsbury? Ooooh. #TheGoodOldDays

Gerrof. Surely the worst pair of siblings we'll see tonight. #TheGoodOldDays

And may I say what a smashing blouse you have on. #TheGoodOldDays

Got it. Joao Neves reminds of Fox, the useless one in The Warriors. #ChampionsLeagueFinal

Reg Varney in a tea towel, there. #TheGoodOldDays

Ooh, extra time. #ChampionsLeagueFinal

He's getting his balls out. Family show this, mate. #TheGoodOldDays

Steps, there.

Mosquera:

Well that was bloody awful. And bring back managers wearing proper fucking itchy suits. You look like a Burtons mannequin, Luis.

If they're anything like me, they clicked the little red flag to remind them to definitely, definitely come back to them later on.

Backrooms (2026)

Well, he was alright in Scrooged. Not sure about the rest of it. #TOTP #notTOTP #MilesDavis

Sorry, but "stick a deck chair up your nose" is never not going to be funny to me. #TOTP

Pete Wylie, there. #TOTP

Tessa! Big Frank! Dunc! #TOTP

For yonks, I thought Everybody Wants to Run the World was a false memory and Sport Aid is almost entirely forgotten about now, but around 20m people in 76 countries took part in the 10K and it's the biggest mass sporting event ever organised. #TOTP

The Real Thing sponsored by Littlewoods Spring/Summer Collection '86, there. #TOTP

Doctor and The Medics, there. #TOTP

Woah there, Batesy, what are you on about? #TOTP

I got so hammered at a lock in once that I had to sleep in the pub. Made a right bloody mess of the bathroom. Got through the clean up the next day by singing Ossie's Dream. #TOTP

Toyah, there. #TOTP

"She's pure as New York snow." What a fucking line. #TOTP

Coast to Coast, there. #TOTP

Oh no! #TOTP

Tough times for Geri. The blouse button replacement budget has run dry. #TOTP

Happy birthday top #TOTP popper @mariajeperez.eurosky.social from your - and the nation's - favourite DeeJay, Simon Bates!

I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston