One of the most important records in my young indie apprenticeship. You hear The Auteurs and you realise there's this whole other world.

Right, I'm going to watch Grosse Pointe Blank again. No man can stop me.

The landlord's handyman in our shared house in Didsbury looked liked Errol - and was called Errol. We beat the shit out of the washing machine playing kitchen cricket and he was going "has someone been kicking this?". I had to play dumb. The role I was born for. #TOTP

Suzi Quatro is one of those celebs that the BBC could wheel out tomorrow on a prime time Saturday night show, like Michael McIntyre or something, despite her having done sod all for 30 years and we'd all just go along with it. #TOTP

Britain's judge, Basil Herwald, gave ABBA's Waterloo nul points in 1974. And I'd like to think it's solely because Napoleon did not, in fact, surrender at Waterloo. #TOTP

Ooh, you just want to take him in your arms, don't you? And I'm not even a woman. #TOTP

Even the fucking Mormans were having it in the seventies. #TOTP o

David Bowie, there. #TOTP

Hey, gang, it's the SEVENTIES! #TOTP

Bloody love Ronnie Lane, me. God love him. #TOTP

Rod Stewart, there. #TOTP

Bearing in mind, poor Maggie is getting all this unloaded on her after just being woken up. Piss off, Rod. #TOTP

At Glastonbury 2006, we had a choice of going to watch England v Germany in the World Cup or Ray Davies. I chose Ray. Apart from asking the boss to marry me, it's probably the best decision I've ever made. #TOTP

My best man Tom played this at the school talent show at our extremely Catholic high school, causing some consternation among the nuns on the judging panel. Fuck the system! #TOTP

Peter Sarstedt, there. #TOTP

This Wheel's On Fire. Al-fucking-right! #TOTP

Big finish! #TOTP

Tom Jones, there. #TOTP

Say what you will, and obviously Charlie was the best one, but he does the fuckin business Mick, doesn't he? #TOTP

Massive chew sets. #TOTP

The Carnival Is Over is my drunk, crying, refusing to leave the stage karaoke jam. #TOTP

Mr and Mrs Righteous must have been so proud. #TOTP

Four years since we lost the heartbeat and lynchpin of The Supremes, Miss Mary Wilson. #TOTP

Me mate's dad was called Dave Clark. Oi, where's the other four? Eh? Eh? (Incidentally, he was also questioned as part of the Yorkshire Ripper inquiry. But he wasn't him.) #TOTP

Sticking around for some big hits (64-75)? Not 'arf! #TOTP

At first you think, oh she's lost her baby. But baby don't mean baby. It's American for boyfriend. She's so international. #TOTP

Tell me, Nicky, are you happy with your current photocopier's performance? #TOTP

Laughed far too much at Nicky Cambpell saying "Ithangyew" there. #TOTP

It's not easy being a brooding goth rock god. It's even harder when your first name's Wayne. #TOTP

Looks like she's robbed Ron Atkinson. #TOTP

Everyone went on about Agnetha but Anni-Frid looks like she knows some filthy jokes, could drink you under the table and slap the taste out of your mouth. Now that's a woman. #TOTP

Hush, Rod! #TOTP

EDMONDS! #TOTP

Job Centre staff night out turning into a mad one. #TOTP

"So I've got this idea to get members of the public to do incredibly dangerous stunts on TV. It's going to be the fucking business, girls." #TOTP

Legs & Co have come as Fred Dibnah. #TOTP

G'won Bobby, lad. #TOTP

Can you imagine seeing Roxy Music pop up on your walnut-panelled telly looking this chic, exotic, groovy and altogether otherworldly? Knock your socks off. #TOTP

When we canned Menswear off stage at the Leeds Heineken festival in 95, they sent out Tom Robinson to restore order. #TOTP

WAHEY! 2-4-6-8 Motorway! Memories of singing that with my dad in his van. #TOTP

Oh look, it's UB40. #TOTP

One unimpressed Betty each for this lot. #TOTP

Bryan Adams: #TOTP

Billie packing 'em in. #TOTP

And how come Ace of Base were Ace of Base not Ace of Bass, which would surely make more sense. Is it the unfortunate SS at the end? #TOTP

Ace of Base covering Bananarama, is it? #TOTP