Somebody: "How are you feeling?" Us.

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

It's not a bad idea to go to the local Walmart or big box retailer and buy lots of consumables now. From toothpaste to soap, anything you can find storage space for, buy before they have to replenish inventory. Even if it's made in the USA , they will jack up the price and blame it on tariffs.

Howdy from Wisconsin.

I hope this cardiologist doesn't start chanting "Kali Ma" like my old one used to

Space alien: Take me to your leader. Me: I’d rather not.

This makes my blood boil in ways I cannot describe.

This was very blatantly a Nazi salute. Don't let them convince you otherwise. They are going to try to tell you what you saw, you didn't really see, OR it wasn't REALLY that it was something else, and you are interpreting it wrong OR they will say it's fake and AI. DO NOT BE GASLIT

The only way to tolerate Walmart, is probably by consuming mind-altering substances first.

There should really be an award category for this, somewhere.

Vaseline-Covered Trump Reverses TikTok Stance After Getting Into Skincare

Bluesky has jumped up to over 28 million users!! Welcome, new humans! Hi, I’m God. Billionaires should not exist.

I love this woman so damn much ❤️

Tattoo content 😎

There's always a few trolls Yes we are the actual @AltYelloNatPark from Twitter Yes we really do conduct field work in Yellowstone Yes we are a registered 501c3 in good standing Yes we passed peer review 😎 Yes our DBA is AltYelloNatPark™ Yes you can read all about our work at AltYelloNatPark.org

No, I did *not* make a whole cup of herbal tea and then fall asleep before drinking it last night; I left an offering to my ancestors that was accidentally on my nightstand instead of my altar 😤 mind your own business smh

My cats watching me clean their litter box.

Funny thing, I'm growing mine out so my wife can French braid them.

I would have loved to see Robin Williams as the guest star on The Muppet Show.

If you see this, post a vampire.

Not to brag, but I can fall down sober.

I'm gonna start every conversation with... "Wanna hear some interesting facts about body decomposition?"

I was interviewed at CES this morning. We mentioned that consumers will decide whether they want to be on a platform that is “unfiltered free speech “ or “ moderated”. I mentioned that I loved @bsky.app , and spontaneously people started clapping 🔥.

People who like your post but don’t repost it are like parents who support you, but not enough to brag to the other parents.

I am not too concerned with Facebook/Meta getting rid of all of its fact-checkers. I still get all of my information from an unimpeachable source: Shakira's hips.

Gotta catch em all!

Aquarium guide: Yes, they are small but they're called pocket sharks because of the fluid filled pockets near their gills. Me: *shark snout peeking out of hidden water filled pocket* Oh right, I knew that. AG: Please put it back.

I pee on foxes. That's why I'm now a eunuch.

Tim Walz just capped prescription copays for Minnesotans at $25. In case Donold wants suggestions for his “concepts of a plan.”

Peter Cetera ruins everything.

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks Mormons.

A shady doctor offered me $250 once for one of my kidneys. That's like over 100 tacos!

I'm afraid I'll never understand string theory or people.

They give us unconditional love, devotion & loyalty. They are a reliable source of peace, joy & contentment. That they have made this a better world is an undisputed FACT. 👁️❤️🐶🐕

Pee-wee's Big Adventure stays ON during sex.

Please help if you can.. he’s one of us, and he’s a good human. And please share.. and send any good vibes you have to @thescottmillen.bsky.social www.gofundme.com/f/help-scott...

Who called it a prostate and not a sirvix