Everyone remembers the Toronto Rangers title in 2019, when the whole of Toronto cheered their favourite basketball team, the Toronto Rangers

Here are the locations of the missing items in your home: The TV remote is in the bathroom The kitchen scissors are under your kid's bed Your keys are behind the toaster And your chapstick is gone forever - give up on that one

Deer + bunny + cargo shorts = kangaroo

I’m in Birmingham city limits and from time to time they come through and do bulk trash pickup and grab downed tree trunks etc. they’re outside my place today and the crane being used makes me kinda jealous. It’s like adult claw machine! Your prize is this old mattress covered in who knows what!

Out of curiosity, I searched online “what items are made in the United States sourced entirely from materials within the United States” It said “your mom”

Updating my LEGO White House

"Friends" is a beloved American sitcom that aired from 1994 to 2004, following six young adults—Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe—living in New York City. The show explores their friendships, romances, careers, and personal growth over ten seasons.

“Back in my day, we didn’t have diarrhea planes…”

And- bsky.app/profile/aozo...

The way one company can bring down half the fucking internet

they are so close to understanding the entire point of trade

Shazam but for whatever my stomach is doing right now

Can the Manhattan Project avoid building the nuclear bomb?

Red alert, poets! We now have two moons! I repeat: we now have two moons

I love Guillermo del Toro calling ages 19 to 29 "sublime confusion"

Oh, I thought you said LUBE HEIST

Got fired from my job forging septum rings at the Antifa factory. Had to turn in my green hair.

Why, I’m the fastest French jewel thief this side of the Louvre, pardner

We found Louvre in a heistless place

It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this

Suddenly discovering that a slide I’d inherited from a previous professor that Ive been showing off in classes for years had casually racist imagery in it and while im mad at myself for not catching it sooner, if i had a nickel for every time this happened Id have may e somewhere around 50 cents

None of these words in the Bible.

🇵🇸🍉

Thei did the Mash; thei did the Monstere Mash. The Monstere Mash: beholde, sepulchral smash! Thei did the Mash, and it kaughte on moost fast - Hark, heare the Mash! Forsooth, the Monstere Mash!

It ys the seasoun of decoratif gourdes you knaves

Rep Shontel Brown is on 🔥 speaking the truth.

Of all the things that are gonna happen this is not gonna happen first

New in PN: Trump shits on us. Why doesn’t the media care? "Millions exercised their rights & Trump’s response was burying them in virtual feces. At best it's juvenile; at worst an ugly attack on the democratic spirit. Either way, it’s very offensive. You’d think journos would want to talk about it"

If only they’d been proclaiming their love of Hitler, they could count as children well into their 40s.

Much younger, weaker democracies have managed to do this when faced with less ridiculously flagrant corruption.

Everyone needs to quit fucking around and call for the removal of this regime. The absurdity of saying "No Kings" without going the full way is insane.

I know I'm usually Mr. Positivity and that's not always cool in the grimdark present of Amerikkka but I do want you to know there is a veritable shit tornado about to drop on Donnie and I don't think he can keep it at bay for very much longer. Noses to the grindstone folks, they're about to break.

The sounds of crows and owls before sunrise. Fucking creepy hell.

Y'all Come Teat! ❤️👍

Shower thoughts

Trump is hiring *other* short-fingered vulgarians so he won’t be lonely.

i am very curious about that tattoo on his hand but also if those fingers are any indication, he’s probably not long for the world anyway

Yesterday, a federal judge ruled that Gregory Bovino and other officials can be questioned under oath over agents using chemical agents on protesters, journalists, and clergy in Chicago. A lot of ICE agents still mistakenly think that they’ll never be held accountable. They will.

I’m disgusted by the photos of Ttump’s demolition at the East Wing, but I’m even more sickened by the renderings of his mar-a-lago ballroom dwarfing our White House. Once we’re rid of this despicable man, that ballroom must also be removed.

AZ AG Mayes: We have people in Arizona who are being actively harmed by Mike Johnson playing politics and apparently trying to protect the Epstein files. That’s not okay. We’re going to fight as hard as we can to put an end to it and to get Adelita Grijalva sworn in.

Raskin details how he tried to get unanimous consent today to force Johnson to swear in Adelita Grijalva, but the Acting Speaker Haridopolos "scurried out of the room"

Enough is enough. Adelita Grijalva was elected on September 23. The people of Arizona have a right to be represented in Congress.   During today’s pro forma session, when the House is called to order I will seek unanimous consent to insist upon the swearing-in of Adelita Grijalva.

The only reason I could think of to stay alive eternally is because I would likely never run out of books to read and I think that’s pretty rad.

I just went to the House floor to demand that Speaker Johnson swear in Adelita Grijalva, but the GOP gaveled out without even recognizing us.    We’re not going anywhere. I’m here with Leader Jeffries and Adelita Grijalva. Speaker Johnson must swear her in.

Ignore all laws about altering historic properties ✅ Pave over Rose Garden for tacky Mar-A-Lardo Patio ✅ Demolish East Wing after lying that "It won't interfere with the current building. It'll be near it but not touching it" ✅ Build gaudy $250M Ballroom as public struggles financially ✅ #Ugh🤢✅

But let the poor people eat poop!

We are the best at birthday cake!

The image of the destruction of The White House is nauseating. The People's House, a National Treasure, a Historic Landmark. Really, WTF!