Kat
@ollkorrect0.bsky.social
📤 673
📥 359
📝 150
awkward human
pinned post!
I think my therapist hates me. Wish I had someone to talk to about this.
over 1 year ago
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Kat
Nappy Dolemite
4 months ago
Statistically, you're much better off if you don't believe anything is butter
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Blue Fairylicious Girlđź§š
4 months ago
I’m not exactly sure what my life purpose is, but I’m starting to think it’s laying in bed posting about the dickhead president while my husband gets me coffee
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"I have things to say about that but I'm not going to waste my breath right now." – My therapist
4 months ago
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Kat
Salty MacTavish
4 months ago
If I xoxo you it’s a defensive formation
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Kat
Sentient Bunnysuit
4 months ago
If I say "Interesting." it's because I was thinking about something other than what you were saying.
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I recently switched my Teams video so I see myself the real way instead of mirrored, and nothing has ever so thoroughly destroyed my self-confidence.
4 months ago
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Date the person in front of you. Not the person you think you can turn them into.
5 months ago
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weeder
5 months ago
Two deleted posts by 8am, one more and my phone locks for 12 hours
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richie
5 months ago
when the ghosts of your ancestors step outside the room to give you some “privacy” for the twenty four thousandth three hundred and fifty seventh time
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Kat
PAM!
5 months ago
Communication is key. Go ahead and ask that man how big an ass he intends to be today.
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Charlie Alzamora
5 months ago
The upside of having lost most of my muscle mass is that there is less chance of me pulling a muscle.
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I told my therapist about the guy I fell for and she told me to check my bank accounts.
5 months ago
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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉
5 months ago
I’m not optimistic about my love life but I still trim my nails
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Born for mutual devotion. Doomed to yearn.
5 months ago
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The year is 2025. We use AI to summarize articles written by AI. Seems we should just ask AI to write shorter articles. But then they couldn't fit all the keywords.
5 months ago
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TwoSense
5 months ago
PuddyTats™️ are pudding cups that come with wet n press tattoos
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[Me in Excel] Let's color-code this bitch
5 months ago
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I'm not as fearless as I used to be. So now I'm brave instead.
6 months ago
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chris.
6 months ago
Frankincense is the doctor, Myrrh is the stupid sound the monster makes, Kevin.
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alexis simpson
6 months ago
floating the term "donkass" out as a trial balloon
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I'm typing with one hand but it's not what you think. I'm eating a sandwich.
6 months ago
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los 🦦
6 months ago
my thirst for thrifting is fueled solely by my desire to bring home a haunted artifact
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[me, a writer, accidentally typing "your" instead of "you're"] I should kms
6 months ago
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Kat
Charlie Alzamora
6 months ago
I've shortened the phrase “Our grandmother is looking down at us from heaven” to just “Nana the above.”
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I'm so happy I have a four-hour block without meetings. Life is a prison.
6 months ago
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Kat
trickykat
6 months ago
hearing a crunch as I sit "I found my glasses"
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Kat
Miss Havishambles
6 months ago
If I’m going to be visited by spirits, make them doubles please.
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I see all your relationship advice and I'm telling you. This one's different.
6 months ago
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Kat
Gef the Toking Mongoose
6 months ago
saying "stop it" when someone sneezes instead of bless you
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Kat
DaddyJew
6 months ago
*Googles directions how to get out of my own head
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I stole her ear
6 months ago
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"I wonder if he still thinks about me" he has four different ways to contact you
6 months ago
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Kat
ash
6 months ago
I regret nothing...wait everything.
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Kat
cru jonze
6 months ago
wonder what fun the next worst week of my life has in store
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Kat
Chabby D
6 months ago
Someone ate the last brownie at work so I’m leaving
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Kat
trickykat
6 months ago
i do not think therefore i do not am
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Do more things that will still matter in a year.
6 months ago
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Kat
A.R. Moxon
about 1 year ago
Attending a billionaire’s party, Kurt Vonnegut pointed out to his buddy Joseph Heller that their host made more in a day than Heller’s hit book Catch-22 would ever earn. “True,” said Heller, “but I have one thing he never will: A massive golden hippo statue that comes to life and kills my enemies.”
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josh (oldfriend99)
about 1 year ago
Can't think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare
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Betsy Wetsy
about 1 year ago
was caught by another human on the trail singing are you gonna be my squirrel at the top of my lungs
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"no one's keeping score" i am
about 1 year ago
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My favorite way to acknowledge someone's haircut is to ask if they got their ears lowered. Such whimsy.
about 1 year ago
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I love my therapist. Week after week, she completely tears me down, absolutely eviscerates me, then tosses me the tiniest bit of validation and abruptly ends the session. 10/10, no notes.
about 1 year ago
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Kat
The Man In Yellow Wires
about 1 year ago
Sorry I’m late, but I’ve lost faith in humanity and no longer conform to the strictures of time
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