These barbarians are destroying everything that makes society work. Kids can't go to school, patients can't go to the hospital. We are, in effect, paying them to wreck the basic infrastructure of the country

One ticket to father… mother… sister… brother…

Seeing Jim Belushi on my screen before Twin Peaks season 3 aired: oh huh ok Seeing Jim Belushi in The Chronology of Water post-Twin Peaks s3: omg it’s my good friend the dependable character actor Jim Belushi 😍😍

My love language is reading the phrase "love language", looking it up, discovering it's some American Christian thing, saying aloud "who am I, Billy Graham?" and watching the movie "Ronin" (1998, Directed by John Frankenhiemer) instead.

The federal government seceding from the union is a new one

There honestly cannot be a satire cutting enough to make fun of Americans. What the fuck do you mean the highest colonial ideal you could imagine was a parking lot with McDonald's on both sides

You have to understand, the agent involved is stupid. We begged him to stop standing in front of cars but he can’t figure it out. He’s stupid and he has anxiety from the time before when he was stupid, so we just have to let him pop off. We wish he weren’t, but he is. And we have to respect that

Kinda sucks how one day you’ll post stuff like “does the Grinch use the toilet?” and then the next it has to be “I reject those who worship death”

*doing my absolute worst* sorry i'm doing my best

Bravest motherfuckers you've ever seen. They just saw a neighbor get murdered and still out there. Maybe let's see some local officials with the power to arrest show as much backbone as these voters PAYING YOUR FUCKING SALARY

The text faded to the paywall at the same rate as my eyes would have glazed over anyway

A touching tribute to Mike F

A terrible crime and harbinger of things to come, with one very, very funny subplot

anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me before i halfass a dating app bio like someone who doesn't want to be there and then immediately delete the app

Every editor after decades of being sued by politicians: hm we can’t just accuse him of a crime in the banner headline. Let’s go with TRUMP CAPTURES MADURO IN UNORTHODOX MILITARY OPERATION, RAISING LEGAL CONCERNS Trump: no no I kidnapped him. it was a crime. I love crimes they’re my favorite

i want to stress again that every time i try to explain this shit to normal people i sound like i have to be institutionalized

STRANGE DAYS (Bigelow, 1995)

if you start Before Sunset right now it will finish at 11:58pm, giving you a couple of minutes to stare at your disgusting reflection in the black TV screen

Last post of the year, better make it count. Ummmm fuckin uhhhhh hmmm

2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣5️⃣

star wars and star trek fans are weak "boohoo our franchise isn't good anymore". there's never been a good tron movie and it rules

How was this legal

and Colonel Quaritch who did NOT die

erika kirk and JD vance planning the first annual Charlie Kirk Memorial Charity Gala

I do not like Avatar movies without my friends Spider and Kiri

(I’m not sleepy, I want to look at my flower)

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

Avatar: Fire and Ash (dir. James Cameron, 2025)

I could see myself voting for someone who campaigns on “I will burn the current White House to the ground and salt the earth where it stood”

starting to feel like josh o’connor had a slightly more successful 2025 than i did

guy who just learned it's not polite to call an artist's work "content": hey man it's cool to meet you i'm a huge fan of your slop

Plated meals at movie theaters are a test and you’re all failing

You know Julia Louis-Dreyfus? From SNL and the MCU?

I could at least learn to tolerate the new Travolta Capital One ad if they had kept the “chicks will cream” line

It’s so funny to me that they have been trying to pander Star Trek to young people since the 00’s, but every 17 year old I have ever seen obsessed with Star Trek is drawing TOS Kirk/Spock old man yaoi on tumblr dot com

man these are getting too real

"Pluribus is too slow" "Heated Rivalry is too slow" Man, maybe you're too fast. Maybe watch Solaris to recalibrate

Goddamn dude, just go ahead knock 25 percent off my 401k and get on with it, I can't take much more of this.

Trump in a room with a very charismatic person results in like half a day of Trump agreeing with everything that person said, so this has the potential to be very, very funny.

This rules, this is the way to name a kid. Stop all the bullshit with baby name gurus and just pick the two movies you went to last, pick two characters in those movies. Boom you’ve got a kid named Zora Galactus, you were never gonna pick a name that good Hollywood did it for you.

People say Cancel Culture is real and then you see Lydia Tár being invited to meet the Pope. 🙄

the entire twitter and group chat poisoned elite of American society who decided Trump winning an election by 1.5% heralded a thousand year reich may have miscalculated a bit

How can you say voting doesn’t change anything when I start without a sticker, I vote, now I have a sticker.

Dick Cheney Was Doing War Crimes in Exactly the Right Way, by Ezra Klein.

this is such a great encapsulation of why this race feels existential even to people outside NYC. Cuomo as the final boss of everything wrong with the current Democratic Party, Mamdani happily grabbing the third rails everyone’s told are too dangerous to touch (trans people, Muslims, socialism)

My congratulations to all Baseball Perverts. It was their "super bowl" last night and it seems they all had a very bad time (in their culture that's how you have a good time)