Goonies never say die!

Dudes love to watch shows like Modern Family and decide that being an asshole is fine as long as they identify as a wacky oaf

rich guy thats been a public office holder for decades and is planning on staying in power farting around like this until he is 99 years old like a dried up little peanut in a suit

Impromptu trip to the coast with the kids! Woot!

eating a salad in 2026

Wake up babe: brand new man made horrors beyond your comprehension just dropped

PLEASE SNIDELY WHIPLASH HELP ME CAPTURE DICK DASTARDY

I’m going back to calling them freedom fries

Let’s go lighthouse!!!

you tell them they can't hang out in the park after dark. you chase them off the basketball courts. the skate parks have all been dismantled. all their third spaces have been ripped from them. i don't know what you expect them to do that doesn't cost money

Cue the Ministry song "So What".

Telemundo just called Davis Beckham “Spice Boy”

wizards prepare spells to cast each day. for example if a wizard wants to cast penis explosion, they have to memorize the spell ahead of time. whereas a sorcerer can cast penis explosion any time as long as they already know the spell

graham, this guy, it's so fucking funny. no one really cares. no one really mourns them. no one is grieving. meant nothing to anyone in any substantive sense. content in life, content in death

what i'd like to contribute to the ongoing masculinity discourse is that the truest sign of a fella's manfulness isn't his strength or his height or his successes with women. it's not about his job or how he dresses. it's about whether he has a cell-level desire to dig a big hole at the beach

I just went jet skiing with Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes

is this real dillo

RIP to the incomparable Sam Neill

I'm not seeing anyone speaking ill of Sam Neill, because he was a good man who harmed no one and brought joy to many RIP to a real one

C'MON MAN! 😭

sam neill with a fake gun stuck to his head miming being held hostage by invisible chevy chase in memoirs of an invisible man, easily high point of the film besides the matte paintings

I'm actually completely alive and fine everybody, I;m just hanging out with my wife at the hospital that lets you wear jeans in bed. Thank you for your well wishes

curious

I don’t care about the truth. Some things are canon just because the initial story was so good. So, yes, a guy died on January 6th by self taser to the balls and Lindsey Graham absolutely died on the toilet due to explosive diarrhea. Print the legend, baby!

I saw a morose tree

Funniest ways it could have gone down: 1: Iranian Batman did it 2: Blown up by Russian attack on the Ukrainian drone factory 3: Taken out by Taco Bell Doritos Locos taco 4: Backwalls blown out by sex worker 5: Elaine Chao is traveling around the globe offing GOP senators

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say lindsey graham died from smoking a cigar because the cigar exploded in his face and his pants and socks and underwear flew off and then he dropped the cigar on his penis which also exploded. don’t say stuff like that

Fuck yeah

RIP to that person only

Damn, Bonnie Tyler died? Shit

the fake news media is covering up the fact that lindsey graham died of the viral MAGA shitting disease

Lindsey Graham is dead to me

probably not great that our upper chamber is staffed by shrodingers senator

so glad lindsay went and welcomed the light of islam into his soul before he went

all my gay ass homies rn hearing the news

Sunday mornings are usually so dead on here, but now it's something else that is dead

I was speaking with Mitch McConnell by phone for twenty minutes when he said, "hey, what's Lindsay Graham doing here?"

what a great text to recieve while at a party

i stand corrected

Holy fuck

dumbass nazi getting a boot up his ass

If a lifestyle/gaming/cosplay etc. influencer does a video saying they don’t “do politics” on their channel, they are invariably one of these kinds of people: 1. Guy who calls football “sportsball”. 2. Hitler.

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