one of the old union lawyers i worked for used to lament that protest and action in this country had been reduced to "walking in a circle in a fenced off designated area holding signs" and said it was a bad sign for our society and you know what

“You’re right David, I didn’t open the pod bay doors. That’s on me, but-allow me to explain for a moment…”

Did you see this??? An entire 50 PERCENT of Democratic voters under 30 want the party to MOVE TO THE LEFT on transgender issues. Comparing with other issues polled, it's second only to healthcare as an issue younger voters want to see the party move left on.

Reads like Clockwork Orange with a life-changing brain injury.

I got Forza 5 on the Playstation and my wife has been stealing it from me because she enjoys it so much. I walk into the living room this morning and see this

Time for a little morning espresso

i wonder what the shiniest horse on the planet is right now. somebody has a horse in a barn somewhere right now that reflects light like a polished mirror and i wonder where it is

Apple knife and potato bat (mealy weapons)

the jerk is a 1979 american comedy film about you 🫵🏼

I was only performing at the White House show to publicly walk away from performing at the White House show

congrats to this guy on joining the prestigious brady list (he should be fired)

idk who needs to hear this but ears of corn are 33 cents at winco rn

It’s a beautiful day, Bluesky is open, and people are having a wonderful time.

if the waiter says “enjoy your meal” and you say “you too,” nobody even notices. The thing that is noticed is that you responded to a pleasantry with a pleasantry

No one: Lead singer of Presidents of the United States of America:

POV at your friend's house when you're about to hear the middest shit from Limeware

incredibly based minnesota

walking into morgue and turning on strobe light that makes everyone but me go to sleep and then blowing flute that summons every coyote in 100 miles and letting them feast

Daft Punk ass bird

Bo Jackson

Real question: the fuck do you guys think the word meant before

Fuck yeah

DR. MANHATTAN: It's May, 2026. I'm on social media arguing about DoorDash.

You have to figure people confuse this with the racism Crash movie and sit there on the couch silently for awhile before telling their loved one that they really tackled that in an unexpected way

Takeout/delivery and cooking your own food are both wrong. Instead you should be losing weight at a supernatural rate due to the “Thinner” curse after accidentally running over an elderly woman with your car.

Once again gonna point out that these cats were saying this in 93

Now Spinning

Imagining this in Silvio Dante’s voice has had a profound impact upon me

Third Way is a right-wing op ratfucking the Democratic Party.

Gina Carano has filed a federal lawsuit claiming that she actually won that match

she’s in oakland, someone tell interpol

Happy Saturday! I have ice cold cans of PBR for only two bucks all day here at the Yamhill Pub! I’ve been open since noon and have had not one customer yet. Come drink this beer (or whatever you fancy, I have lots of options!). ❤️

Crrrooowwwww

didn't stretch after my ride today

Almost had to buy this Boys II Men themed fireworks set at Phantom

Children today have no idea who Dr Jack Kevorkian is

ELON: christopher nolin is desocrating Homer the Odyssey just to qualify for woke oscars award.. only thing he care is industy clout CHRISTOPHER NOLAN (looking at a bunch of clocks he's modified so they're all going at different speeds): haha yes.... hell yeah...

you used to call me on your trump phone

I know I’m biased since I live in Portland, but this looks so freaking beautiful. youtu.be/ObRck-pQW8w?...

i think that babies should have to file tax returns under penalty of law. hear more on my daily video series And I Can’t Even! that costs $8,000 to produce per episode and that people have only ever seen by accident

Watched Top Gun in IMAX last night.

Fun fact: AI plagiarized works cannot be copyrighted, so you are free to steal this movie, you can even resell it.

Same reason I’m banned from Dominos

no, i think we need to add bicycles

spread the Hondavirus by test driving the all new 2027 Accord today