That’s stupid thing to say. I was clearly mad from the start of this thread. I didn’t suddenly get mad when your dumb ass showed up.

kelly baldwin said Eat Up Martha

not important at all but he says here that he finds bridgette macron more attractive than candace owens and that is an insane opinion

how the fuck is ed baldwin still alive. retire bitch!

steve conrad’s dad was a weatherman right?

jack black has such mediocre ambition- he is only the second most talented artist of american entertainment wholeheartedly determined to waste their beauty on dreck. prayers up for jamie foxx, a true practitioner of the squandering arts

beautiful place to take a dump

Getting dogpiled sounds great, frankly. Whispering to the good boys at the dog park that they can pile on me if they're feeling like it

I love that we’re doing michael clayton today, good posting

Ooh, *Lee Cronin’s* The Mummy! I thought you meant someone else’s “The Mummy.”

this is funny but also heartwarming

people saying that “moon’s haunted” is a good tweet have bad taste, yes, but I get the appeal. They just haven’t seen actually good tweets like this

oh man, this youtube channel that posts old letterman clips managed to dig up one of those obscure bits i loved and assumed i dreamed up and never saw again, Alan Kalter stars in famous Fred MacMurray movie roles

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

Me, watching Gorillaz on SNL, remembering when that song came out 25 years ago:

This is all the fault of ineffective centrists like Joe Biden and Thomas Matthew Crooks

death to america, of course

😭

"Bluesky doesn't have the juice." "Real media access is still only on Twitter." "No one important uses or will ever use this site." Skill issue. If you post good, the right people will figure out how to get in touch with you.

this is what happened with JD Vance and his mom

knees are like the elbows of the legs

This guy rules

Hear me out, pee is stored in the balls

Imagine if all cute drug addicts adopted a homosexual. There would be world peace

Man they look different than what I remember

ah the famous ufc hexagon

theres this guy on tiktok Miami Tony Stark who does in-character videos of advice and jokes but he only has one gag. its usually something like "love means sharing your heart with someone,,,, but true love,,, means sharing your,, wifi password" anyway he's really outdone himself with this one

bradley cooper playing the elephant man:

motivational speaker at the glory hole causes far more problems than i intended for it to solve

Arnett dern, an ok movie. Varmint reconciliation, mid-life sarsaparilla, and so on

Phillippe Gaulier, the 100 year old French clown has died today. He was 82 years old.

seeing a lot of unnecessary fear mongering about the consequences of taking a direct hit from an rpg-like projectile. My parent’s generation used to do it all the time and dad is in his 90s now and fit as a fiddle

The talk about Isaac Chotiner—whose interviews I like, not knocking the guy—is slowly taking on the tenor of people in 2005 relaying Chuck Norris facts

📠📠📠📠📠

Take a hideous moment for yourself

What did Austin Powers say when he went to the apiary? Oh beehive! 😂

TREBEK: According to the lyrics of rapper Lil Ten Five Lb Labey, your nose bridge will be snapping and your cranium will be cracking when you let her drop 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 bowling ball sized snack on your face. CONTESTANT:

If you’re under 5’3 you should get a throat tattoo. If you’re over 5’3 you shouldn’t do anything at all, you’re perfect

You could put Elaine May, Dorothy Parker and William Shakespeare in a room together and they'd never write a punchline this funny.

this photo was going viral on here like an hour before Charlie Kirk got shot and now that the dust has settled somewhat it’s time to revisit how funny this is

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog” Hey, Spider quick question, what the fuck is a dog?

It's December, which means it's time for my favorite post of the year (which will be updated all day), the cinema of 2025 as gags from 30 Rock. Starting with ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER

can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot

dr dazzle is one of our finest young artists

“Are you talking about heaven?” “No, I’m talking about something… Exclusive and Real”