probably nothing that our 79 year old president Bruises who just got a MRI for no reason is busting into rooms he shouldn't be in to mumble about the afterlife www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump...

I am prepared to vote for anybody who will stop this

just circling back on 1964 America's priorities

nursing is nice insofar as I can tell my boss to fuck off and still be employed, but this also means a text or call on every day off to fill in bc we're so shortstaffed

I'm watching this playoff game right now and Washington is terrifying on attack

[at the movies in a parallel universe where it’s all the same but jellied eels became the standard movie snack instead of popcorn] aw man. an hour left to go and these eels are dry as hell. could really use more jelly. but what if i miss a good part

remembering the period of time on Twitter where people pretended the Red Scare hosts had working brains that weren't thoroughly microwaved

What a terrible day to know how to read

Dhalgren and A Scanner Darkly

Ancient mosaic of a reclining skeleton, holding a drinking cup, with a jug of wine and bread rolls. The caption is generally translated as “Enjoy Your Life” ~ life is fleeting, so enjoy it while you can (Antioch, est 3rd century BC) mymodernmet.com/skeleton-mos...

貓兒房，近侍三、四人，專飼御前有名分之貓。凡聖心所鍾愛者，亦加升管事職銜。牡者曰「某小廝」騸者曰「某老爺」，牝者曰「某丫頭」 The Cat Office employed three or four attendants to feed cats of recognized status. Favorites of the Emperor received promotions: males were styled “pages;” females, “maids;” neutered cats were addressed in the manner of senior eunuchs.

he has no idea how to get into either bag of food.

Timeline cleanse: A sunbird. I am proud to say I’ve seen a sunbird in person. 😊

I have the most wonderful story for you all today: baby alligator spotted in Charles River, then immediately rescued by local reptile enthusiast

that feeling when you're working on a project only to realize you saved it not to your computer but Microsoft OneDrive 👎

"ventricular fibrillation flareup" is certainly one way to describe a type of cardiac arrest

had not one but two nursing students today, fully depleting my social batteries until December 2026

honestly one of the most striking things about epstein's emails is the fact that the man, described in many places as "a genius," is essentially subliterate

Got in a taxi minivan that is audibly rattling on the freeway. The driver keeps laughing sporadically and forgot to turn on the meter until halfway through the ride. In the seat beside me is a house cat

throwback to when they were so little

today at the dog park neighboring the public tennis courts I witnessed a dude putting a battery operated ball launcher inside his suv accidentally hit some sort of button on it, which caused the machine to start firing tennis balls inside of the vehicle, which ended up giving him a black eye

my heart wants a beautiful, neatly arranged home like the ones featured in architectural digest. but my spirit wants to adopt as many cats and dogs as my living space humanely allows. very difficult dilemma.

I really think a huge amount of economic anxiety is this. I don't think it's entirely rational. People hate renting, and so much wealth people directly see in their families is directly because of appreciating home values.

Do you want people who can assimilate or not

ancient alien anthropologist from the year 3023 accidentally concluding Jar Jar Binks was a Merlin-like historical legend

watching to see if high tide absolutely soaks these brave adventurers

my sweet spot is middle-stage Paradox games where they've worked out the bugs but before they start adding a 2000th minor game mechanic

One of the funniest things about getting older is watching people my age succumb to nostalgia about these terrible films.

As someone from the Bay Area, the key to understanding San Francisco post ~2000 is that it's American Dubai where all the sheikhs and princes are expected to perform periodic minor, left-coded penance rituals before continuing on exactly as before.

accidentally told my manager something sounded like "a total fucking waste of time" but it was also true so? 🤷‍♂️

This is what they did at one of my mother's dementia facilities, so that residents are less likely to get lost.

Your wife should never "look for a job." As a man it's your duty to start a business and hire your wife

sunset today, accompanied by some sizable waves

The downside of a trick or treating w a two year old is it takes like two hours to go two blocks. The upside is they can’t count so you can steal most of their candy.

reassuring my coworker that he will one day surpass his father

absolutely terrifying baseball game

[through gritted teeth] this is objectively an excellent baseball game

my (23/f) coworker (??/f?) is a foreign agent but otoh she's always willing to cover my shifts. AITA if I don't report her?

I'm the guy on Bakeoff who insists on including at least one challenge that is simply not possible to do in time

Fallon Naval Test Site, NV (digital)

This is what it looks like from top of that tallest mountain peak in the distance (six months later).

This pitcher looks like he smokes weed out of an old sneaker

loving the new Lincoln Bedroom design

just heard a small child cry out "WHY?!" as it started to rain and buddy: I get you

norwest bank (designed by louis sullivan), horizontal view, broadway, owatonna, minnesota, 1988

Please take one VHS copy of SPEED each.

Accidentally going as this guy for Halloween for the 22nd consecutive day. theonion.com/mr-autumn-ma...