wait sorry will smith did WHAT at the oscars????

lets see...the new mario kart comes out and all of the sudden we have a big fight brewing in the white house. 🤔 methinks someone didnt like being hit by the dastardly blue shell...

the president wont see your cheap dunks against jeffery epstein . But your friends who have ties to state sponsored pedophilia will

Happy pride! Here are some types of nonmonosexual people I love: ☆ Canadian demiromantic people living in diaspora ☆ Russian femme tankies ☆ multisexual people who aren't out at work ☆ French multisexual butch volcels ☆ Alawite homosexual people living in diaspora ☆ poly people

I’d never really experienced it much before but holy shit now I know what people mean when they say Chapo Trap House has a homelessness problem

hmm... no!!! hahahaha!

il y a une putain de Cheeto dans la Maison Blanche

boiled hot dog steamed bun yellow mustard lots of fun

enough is enough. democratic leadership in congress needs to act now and text me saying they need five to ten dollars

dondal trump is gay. and fat

americans: we miss wokeness. we miss pronouns. please give us new sexual orientations we beg of you donald trump:

We are truly living in a place and time with characteristics that distinguish it from others.

Earth Explodes theonion.com/earth-e...

if they made a Diet Coke with 1.5x as much caffeine most -- if not all -- of the world's problems would be solved

If i brong karl marx to the present day i’d show him Digimon World: Next Order, Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth, Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth Hacker’s Memory, Digimon Survive, and the Digimon VitalHero bracelet.

the world's hottest pepper is the jalapeno pepper. this spicy ingredient is included in dishes the world over, but you'd better order a glass of milk on the side – not to mention a bottle of pepto-bismol

don’t post anything online that you wouldn’t say anonymously to a stranger for gamified cruelty points

every new restaurant in every major city is either called Thistle+Thorn and thinks adding turmeric to brussel sprouts makes them worth $30 or is called Burger Bitch and has a neon sign in the window that says “im gonna fuck a hamburger”

squid james is about capitalism if you actually really do think about it. for example in capitalism your boss is a korean man and he shoots you to death with a gun

sometimes i open up an incognito window on my personal cell phone to google, like, "norbit". as if someone is going to unlock my phone, go through my search history, and think "what kind of fucked up freak would google the movie norbit"

오늘의 신문

[twirling my hair while i flirt with a cartographer] no, no, it’s like TOTALLY the territory

Swearengen: You yankton cocksuckers don't fully appreciate how the assfuckers become the ass fucked. Me, quietly, to my wife: Yankton is in South Dakota.

iPhone TWO? you're telling me phones get sequels now? What's next, "Microwave: The Return"?😂

if i was mr beast i’d be so surged up nails did every day like wtf is wrong with that bitch

TIL people are still doing "let people enjoy things" discourse. No. We tried that and look where it got us. Enjoyment is now centralized under tight controls and the Committee for Enjoyment has everything running nicely. If you missed this memo that's on you

Jucika coyly adjusting her garter belt while a square headed man falls into an industrial shredder.

the library should host a monthly 'how to cook an egg' night where adults and children alike are provided a quiet, judgment free space to learn to properly cook an egg. this would do society a lot of good

(cooking video made for rage bait) And now I'm going to put in thirty sticks, of butter Snarky chef (squinting, 2 inch from camera) More like thirty sticks of what the fuck are you doing.

i think something should be done about the proliferation of cheap, crappy "museums of illusion" and "immersive art experiences" that are plaguing our urban cores. these facilities are taking up valuable retail space that could be made into an overpriced food hall, or perhaps an empty WeWork