derek π
@websitehomepage.bsky.social
π€ 10673
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https://www.instagram.com/alcatrazbikini/
there's a show tonight in nyc π§ comedians will joke around π§ a neuroscientist will give a presentation using a video game π§ someone will receive painful shocks from test equipment
1 day ago
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Lol
12 days ago
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Electro-Harmonix just sent out this email this company makes guitar pedals. their most famous one is called Big Muff
about 1 month ago
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Just ran down two teenagers out on the famous "cousin walk". Maybe if they weren't high they would've heard me careening around the bend.
about 1 month ago
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The Dalai Lama has killed himself.
about 1 month ago
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about 1 month ago
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reposted by
derek π
STORES Podcast
about 2 months ago
@websitehomepage.bsky.social
and
@dril.bsky.social
on the pod today, discussing walgreens, nuff' said
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about 2 months ago
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2 months ago
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2 months ago
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There are birders who quietly snap photos of rare birds. And there are birders like me, who kill as many birds as possible without ever learning their names
2 months ago
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Hitler was 27 when he killed himself
2 months ago
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Cows are better at breast milk than human women. It makes one wonder what else they. can do....
3 months ago
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Those whom I pass on the trail are known as Trailures. They are likely to hurt themselves and ought stay home reading about trails, not hiking them Those whom pass me are known as Trailhards. They've sacrificed their humanity to hike marginally better than me. One must imagine them miserable
5 months ago
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I endorse everyone annoying the guy who runs the onion on our behalf even though it probably won't do anything
add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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My presidents to assassnate top 5
loading . . .
5 months ago
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I have created a new political ideology called Dark Evilism. Please support my new idea
5 months ago
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Forgot the word neurodivergent and called myself a "mental minority" at my probation hearing
6 months ago
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In the first ep of The Office reboot, Dwight becomes addicted to gooning and posts an incel manifesto before using a 3D printed gun to kill a mukbang streamer. The second episode is about pam
6 months ago
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"Stop, please!" "Quiet slut, your screams only make me fuck harder." "Ahh!" Typical exchange from a heated roleplay sesh for these lovebirds. Not to worry, they have a safeword. Something that makes them laugh. The name of a ridiculed coworker.
6 months ago
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Jim, an office worker, introduced his work wife to the concept of "Consensual Non-Consent".
6 months ago
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Saw a guy get executed on the subway and nearly dropped my chopped cheese sandwich.
7 months ago
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James Bond may have ended his own life but we can still remember the good times. The adventures, the missions etc.
7 months ago
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James Bond defeated an evil terrorist. But then he did something interesting. He went back to his hotel room in Peru and shot himself in the face. He was experiencing severe depression.
7 months ago
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James Bond had sex with a gorgeous female spy from an enemy country. Was it erotic? Yes, they both orgasmed repeatedly. But James never experienced true love. And thatβs why he ended his life.
7 months ago
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James Bond died without any children or close friends. He will only be remembered through his many adventures and heroic deeds. An empty life.
7 months ago
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James Bond has killed himself in a hotel room in Peru. A lifetime of pointless adventures and one night stands had left him a deeply unfulfilled person.
7 months ago
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It would be amazing to be a compulsive sexual deviant. Lick a toilet seat, jerk off in a tree. Never bored, always working on something
7 months ago
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Imagine how it must have felt to be the caveman who discovered the world's first gun
7 months ago
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Just lied my way into a job operating a construction crane. Lives are at risk due to my inexperience and sluggish cognitive tempo. AITAH?
8 months ago
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Getting fed into a wood chipper feet first and at the end my head pops off and bounces around peeling the skin off and sanding my skull down into a wonderful white sphere, the pearl of my being
8 months ago
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Did Jesus Christ have ADHD?
8 months ago
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Diarrhea is cheaper than poop on the menu because it's mostly water
8 months ago
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Covid happened in star wars and all the jar jar binks species died from it
9 months ago
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You can smell the SEX coming off this post! This guy is constantly pounding his beautiful wife and leaving her in a damp heap! They hold hands when they fuck because they are in LOVE!
9 months ago
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getting your head cut off is probably relieving like taking a tightly wound rubber band off your finger
9 months ago
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Laughter is the best medicine for things like crushed spine, exploded glass in face, botulism. It is not effective against normal sadness.
9 months ago
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Why did you put a pillow over my face before shooting me in the head? Did you mean for me to be comfy and fairly relaxed for several seconds before the bullet entered my brain?
9 months ago
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Don't worry about me. I moved to Italy and died in a war there or something
9 months ago
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Something specific happens when a bullet interacts with a brain that causes a person to not be alive anymore but it's hard to fully understand without a science degree.
9 months ago
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When you go to the noose store they don't let you try them on. "nice try buddy, buy something or get out"
9 months ago
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I don't think quitting heroin is actually that hard and I'm willing to risk throwing my life away to prove it.
9 months ago
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This looks like an interesting texture for driving my car into
9 months ago
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Decided to not have an interior life anymore
9 months ago
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I look at the world and see nothing worth fighting for. I look at myself and recognize only weakness and failure, everything else deception. But then I look at an AI generated anime woman driving a cybertruck and I go dizzy from dopamine. Finally, happiness ! Infinite Rapture! Thank You God!
9 months ago
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If a depressed person cheers up after deciding to commit suicide they could just decide that every day and live happily for decades
9 months ago
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I'm not a big fan of most AI stuff, but as someone who works at an AI company I wish folks would tone down the rhetoric. I'm just a normal guy making $25/hour creating chat bots that convince elderly people to kill themselves. I do not deserve hatred.
9 months ago
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i was there when this happened but they cut me out of the last panel because i was still kneeling
add a skeleton here at some point
9 months ago
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Mr Beast has ensnared me in what can only be described as a "self suck torture cube" and giddily informs passersby that in 6 months I will win $750
add a skeleton here at some point
10 months ago
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The Dare was rushed to the hospital, and upon examination the physician exclaimed "My God, this man is profoundly brain damaged!" The physician's trusted assistant spoke up at this time. "Sir, you've made a mistake. You're looking at the BEFORE x-rays!" Oh brother! π€¦π
10 months ago
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