Del Toro’s Frankenstein is a dreadful lifeless movie, just interminably long and completely uninteresting. F1 is totally average. Oscar gets it wrong yet again!

One day your phone will light up and it's because The Funny Thing Happened. Every day it doesn't happen, the likelihood increases that it will happen

A podcast asked me to record a voice note about my prediction for 2026 and here it is.

Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it

CDC website altered at Robert F. Kennedy's behest to reflect his belief that "all events depicted in the film Ghostbusters really happened."

I would force Disney to stop adapting their animated films into “live action” and make them do it to their early 90s cartoon lineup instead. Gargoyles live action film trilogy, gritty reboot of Bonkers, Tail Spin: The Next Generation, The DarkWing Returns, things of that nature.

you just know John Wick was going crazy shooting guys in the crowd at this party

"Dasha got dropped by Gersh," I say to the elerly woman sitting next to me on the bus. "Can you believe that?" She empties an entire can of mace directly into my face instantly.

Google AI is like an Eric Adams quote generator

Exciting news! I’ve just landed a high-paying government job as an officially sanctioned ostrich executioner, hired to shoot 200+ large birds in the head one by one… maybe line a few up and see how many I can do at once? Anyway. Dreams do come true, can’t wait to get started!!

*explaining Ballad of a Small Player to an American cinephile*: so, imagine a Berger

[hot chocolate “you sexy thing” voice]

ME: ugh why does my back hurt all the time ALSO ME:

Americans voting

man this really foretold the entire tech industry huh

three young men in the library having a long, earnest conversation about what I assumed was a group project until I heard one of them say "Goku wouldn't do that"

The best bit would be a cut to the teleprompter and this is all on there, word for word.

THE MEME IS REAL

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

BREAKING NEWS ALERT, this is not a drill: It appears as though Babu Frik and Grogu are friends. The two little guys that everyone loves have been spotted hanging out and being buds up there on the silver screen.

Everything about this headline is hilarious. And the YouTube views are a reflection of how wildly the right has overblown the number of people paying attention.

hey quick question here, why did you ban Kneecap from entering Canada

Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From

"I have 40-plus years left on this planet Earth. I don't want to live like that. I don't think any of us do. I think it's more about how do you want to wake up every day and tell your kids what you did in this time period." Found this deeply moving from @bencollins.bsky.social 🥹

Thinking of my favorite @howelldawdy.com song today

We live in andor times now.

unfortunately the only footage they could find of charlie kirk not saying evil things was when a pint of blood was gushing out of his neck like a fountain

When *squints* Karl Rove is the voice of reason…

easiest grift in the world to start a dem think tank. you get millions of dollars to say things like "fracking is good" and "you can say slurs now, but only the ones for gays"

I wrote about the leveling and deranging effects of the Trumpist snitchscape, and the awful content creation imperatives governing this awful moment. defector.com/the-united-s...

Yeah this has outstripped the post-9/11 frenzy even, especially when you factor in that the entire country was genuinely traumatized by 9/11 while most people didn’t know or care who Charlie Kirk was

The media doesn't want you to know that like 92% of Americans died last year from illegal drugs. But we're not going to let them conceal the truth any longer.

We need to find a way to divert troubled young men into cinephilia. No one who has logged 300+ films on letterboxd has ever assassinated anybody.

"Charlie brought debate and discourse to campuses" dude he was 31! you're supposed to keep moving up in the world, but he just kept yelling at 19 year olds about FBI crime statistics. that's absolute pussy shit. that's like staying in Low-A for 13 years.

george lucas made a three film opus about how a combination of tariffs, incels, and anxiety would give rise to fascism and we all made fun of him smfh

Something I have no memory whatsoever of doing but has become lore among my friends is that in October of 2001 I told my friend's dad to get over 9/11 because it was "over a month ago"

Remember that when Luigi allegedly smoked a CEO and the media did this same act (including Kirk, if I remember correct!) but people were all "naw that was funny we stan our assassin king" and the media eventually gave up. The full court media/politician press doesn't work when people hate a fucker

no notes

live from new york

Please enjoy this photo I recently received of me (age 4 probably), my brother and my cousin meeting Dale at Disneyland in 1991 maybe? Don’t think I’ve ever been happier than knowing in this moment that the Rescue Rangers are real and also my friend. Also, proof that I’ve always smiled like this ☺️.

In 2019, Kawhi Leonard made demands of the Toronto Raptors that line up “almost perfectly” with the terms of his apparent cap-circumvention deal with the LA Clippers. Among other things, Kawhi pushed for a $10M no-show job + ownership in the Leafs. Bombshell reporting from @brucearthur.bsky.social

every birthday message to epstein is like "dear jeff, you're so rich and so handsome but probably the thing about you i love most is that you're a prolific child predator. never change <3"

WHO WASHES THE WASHMEN!?