I just... what are you doing Why are you a trip hazard in two separate doorways

Cmon man

I know a lot of people have stopped paying attention to labubus which is fine but there is an important update: the newest ones have hair for some reason and look like hardworking divorced mothers from the 90s.

Guy at the park rode by on a bicycle pulling a little dog trailer with a pomeranian in it, everyone went "aww" and he, without slowing down, very drily goes "He had a heart attack"

With apologies to everyone for clogging your timelines with other people’s total bullshit nonsense today here is a timeline cleanse thread.

Husband just came in to tell me that since the assassination of Abraham Lincoln every American president has been alive at the same time as Herbert Hoover.

Yes.

This is how to speak to every single one of those sycophants.

Babe are you ok? You’ve barely touched your Captain M3GAN

I will think about this every day for the rest of my life

*Brass Monkey horn riff* TREY POOSER

The last time lettuce became such a national concern it sparked this interaction.

the future is here and it is picking images for news alerts

Dems rushing to pass the Lindsey Graham bill are making a major and regrettable mistake. They should take a minute and read fine print in this thing before they give Trump massive new tariff powers that he will certainly abuse

When journalists asked me "where we will see the effects of DOGE on outcomes?" one of my responses was "during crises...as long as media connect the dots." Well, dots connected: www.wired.com/story/cdc-cy...

Apparently the Jewish answer is that offsides VAR calls are bullshit

he doesn’t want art that he wants, he wants there not to be art he doesn’t want.

I paid actual American money to see The Underground Comedy Movie

when the cdc didn't care and the federal government attacked them, remember that taco bell stood with the people

There were some swift and brutal collapses for state-level Democrats in the 2010 GOP wave as the post-Obama party realignment really hit, and I think my biggest hope for 2026 is for Republicans to feel the same in states like Georga, Arizona, and North Carolina.

this lady is EXTREMELY brave, holy hell

LFG

NEW: Aurora Police say an ICE detention center employee shot a protester last night. She is expected to survive. 42-year-old Brandon Booth, who works for the ICE contractor GEO Group, is being held on suspicion of attempted second degree murder and other charges.

In 2020 I wrote about wildfires and the desperation and anxiety a lot of people feel out west feel when the smoke settles in and smothers. Anyhow it led to me going on MSNBC to (animatedly, i guess) talk about it and my friend ended up taking what is the single funniest screen grab of me of all time

an international perspective helps here. no other democracy has American-style hypertrophied judicial review, and a lot of them don't have it at all. in general they are better off for it prospect.org/2022/07/11/t...

this is also why you can't appease the right on this issue. bans on trans people in sports are the camel's nose under the tent for the entire suite of right-wing gender politics, including but not limited to bans on gay marriage, abortion, and birth control

wait.

Emu night (1/2)

Minneapolis ran a special election during the occupation.

Overheard from a group of four guys on the subway: “Yo, why are you doomscrolling? You’re with the bros”

ME: basically i’m on the computer all day and i’m not allowed to eat lettuce even if i wanted to 10 YEAR OLD ME: that sounds incredible ME: well not really

This administration, supposedly representing the “real” salt of the earth Americans, is filled with people like this who have no idea how Americans actually live. For context, each Taco Bell outlet serves about 900 people PER DAY and there are over 300 Taco Bells in Michigan.

I cannot stop laughing at this. They were so close to cracking lmao #InfoWars #MAJA

I want to visit Japan for many reasons, but the current highest is the possibility of meeting Robin the island cat: www.instagram.com/p/DajMhZNk6t8/

The solution is consequences, by the way. And that doesn’t mean “losing elections” or “public ridicule.” Consequences that are real, that wrongdoers and liars know could happen to them, that bad men genuinely fear facing

the fucking disclaimer OH MY GOD

This is literally the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard of a military recruiter saying, and boy is that ever quite the bar:

The jurisprudence of the Arkansas Supreme Court

The lettuce thing feels unpleasantly like the opening act of something worse and much larger that is going to characterize the next several years of our lives

Finally it's my moment to shine

An account with this avatar was just blocked.

I'm here you fuckaas bitch

I think a lot of people are about to find out that recalls are technically voluntary