my idea for woke 2

every afternoon for the last few weeks I have overheard the production workers going wild over world cup clips on their lunch break and I am going to be sad when it’s over

I don’t want JD Vance to be excommunicated because it’s way funnier if the Pope just keeps subtweeting him

my follower count is slowly approaching my following count and I am very concerned that I will be mistaken for one of those follow for follow people

was offline for like 19 minutes and missed the entire “alito retires…just kidding” cycle. I hope you all had a nice time

woke up wondering if anyone had put googly eyes on the anniversary arch and it turns out that yes, everyone has

Well it's a million degrees in England right now and you know what that means. Time to film chocolate week on the Great British Baking Show

the only good numerology

So many Duke-UNC games they could have chosen

muting every combination of words relating to HVAC

normal girl lunch (roasted asparagus, cheese & crackers)

Therapist: Tennessee Athena can’t hurt you Tennessee Athena:

RIP to all the posts we can’t post for legal reasons

I have very suddenly become one of those people who thinks movies should be 90 minutes long

The state of these guys. Look at what he's done to them. 😭

I have a lot of questions about Larry the Downing Street Cat but not enough to interrupt my current Wikipedia deep dive (poisons)

i count starting with my thumb and have since i saw that scene. the germans aren't getting my ass

esnupi

this sucks! I would like a snack though

coworker who delegates non-promotable tasks recursively

this happened again but with Bill Simmons and Richard Simmons

this is very very funny to me on a professional level. my god. I can’t breathe. if I show this to my boss do you think he will let me go home early

in 2000 years they will teach bewildered high school students about the culinary/social traditions of the ancient empire but instead of garum it will be diet coke

Frankish nobles watching the Mamluks engage a Mongol army near Ain Jalut in 1260:

the thing about karl-anthony towns is I feel like I know exactly what he looked like as a baby

Move over, World Cup stars, Hudson is ready for kickoff! ⚽ Our male muskox is showing off some seriously powerful soccer skills as he headbutts and chases a massive soccer ball around. Enrichment plays an important role in animal care by encouraging natural behaviors.

area woman will literally enroll in a highly technical graduate program instead of going to online dating

same but with ducks

went back to work today and they have NOT worked everything out

had surgery last week so haven’t been online much (everything is fine). I assume y’all have worked everything out?

why would you actually tag John Mulaney in this

I have stayed up too late

I want glasses that light up when I am looking for my glasses without my glasses on

I have been trying to exercise more and I am beginning to feel concepts of a runner’s high

this came up again. we need more chemistry nerds on this app

whenever I see a newborn baby I think they look like they are just screaming "WHAT THE FUCK" inside their head. but that's the tragedy. they don't know about "WHAT THE FUCK"

logging on to bluesky

~18 years ago, I took two semesters of organic chemistry. Today, the topic of Diels-Alder reactions came up at my job

🎶fuck your cybertruck I got a horse outside🎶

computer: Your browser connection has timed out. Would you like to refresh your session? me: ✅OK 😊 computer: FUCK OFF, LOSER, YOU FELL FOR IT AGAIN

I’m mad at the president

I voted this morning and a lady gave me an “I Voted” sticker which is nice and unremarkable except that it seems that nobody else got one? Like the election worker lady had one sticker and she gave it to me. It didn’t even have a paper backing, I think she conjured it. What does this mean

sorry guys I meant to unplug the coffee pot

I…worked on my cover letter for a year…and…he just…he skeeted it out

nominative, genitive, dative, accusative, ablative, vocative

I solved the hydration problem with my own brain (leaving glasses of water everywhere like the little girl in Signs)

Two countries with a McDonald's franchise will not fall into the Thucydides Trap