9:45pm is a normal time to finish cooking dinner right

When I decided to start posting on Bluesky after lurking Twitter for years, I didn’t anticipate how many of my posts would be about Skyline Chili

How do some of y’all post that much

As an engineer within the Skyline sphere of influence, I will point out that the cheese is indeed 50% by volume, but has a low bulk density

“Those humans are weird.” You’re not wrong, bird friends. #birds 🌿

I can already tell that I will think "some leftists take skincare too far" every time I moisturize from now until the day I die

The Frog and Toad books I bought for my niece just arrived. I might keep them for myself. She won’t know

bro every aspect of online life has just become me trying to hide from clippy’s nosy ass. this is just 1999 all over again. i open any app or page and there he is, clippy’s ghost, in the form of AI or algorithms, spying on and meddling in my life choices

love hot dinner

*cardi b voice*

every universes got one - a hot thick dish

I started watching this ironically and then I started crying

This post wasn’t about Epstein and friends but I am sensing a trend

at my last job we found a toaster oven in the boiler room and the resulting investigation determined that some contractors (mistakenly) believed that they were not allowed to use the break room so they brought in a toaster oven to bake potatoes

Also, very important:

My mom just sent me this

Just got a couple free pairs of wool socks because the men won’t wear these colors. Thanks, Gender!

it’s only been a week and they’ve already fucked up my pivot tables

The board is set…the pieces are moving (gearing up for the exact same family conflict as in each of the last ten holiday seasons)

they also don’t want you to know that dogs may try to eat the plastic balls and rack up an expensive vet bill [the dog (not mine) is fine]

a woman is ruining my workplace (the bathroom is occupied)

I used to work at a place where the male manager was so awful to his (female) assistants that they kept quitting. To remedy this, the company *built him a new office* further away so he would have less opportunity to bully them

I didn’t like Parks and Rec that much but I don’t think my dislike says anything about society

imagine watching Mamdani’s campaign and thinking that he doesn’t represent ambition, hustle, and drive

Dick Cheney died *yesterday*

good thing sheltering in place is my natural state

I don’t know what else to do so I’m gonna make chili

looks bad man

hoodie, coat over hoodie, warm leggings under pants, wool socks, winter headband ➡️ they are addressing the indoor heating situation

From the creators of “The Rural Juror”: “The Aloof Wife”

Tom Hardy, from those two episodes of Band of Brothers

Received terrible news today. A family member called and said they were unable to get me any cheese while they were in France

ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty] OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food] OSIRIS: you already ate ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad] OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good

Is Humpy in this game

in Kentucky the best Halloweens are on Sundays because some counties won’t do trick or treating on Sunday because it’s devil worship or whatever so if you live near certain county lines you get to go trick or treating twice

when you “dislike” my posts this is whose posts you are disliking

gonna infect you with this

it’s happening again

*slaps lid of dutch oven* this bad boy can fit so much spinach

(Drop It Like It’s Hot voice) soooooooooooooooooOOUP

the AI told the MBA about Big O Notation and the MBA is making it everybody’s problem

just once I would like a journalist to ask a Palantir dude how the palantir ended up working out for Sauron

love having a nice evening and then logging on just before bed and everybody is talking about nukes

wearing increasingly dramatic winter clothing to work in an attempt to make them address the indoor heating situation

thanks for letting me know how many aunts and uncles y’all have

we asked my coworker if he knew what a jackalope was and he guessed “a combination of a jack-o-lantern and a cantaloupe” and I don’t think he was wrong, exactly

whoever picked the background music deserves a raise

[AMADEUS] F. Murray Abraham is a wizard at eager, manic, full-of-life roles, and he gives Salieri a cartoon animal's obsession with Mozart—he's Wile E. Coyote. (1984)