*mutes rapture

Maybe if I get high enough I can get a good view.

if we groove we groove if we don’t peace and good luck

Anyone else so excited for their first rapture tomorrow they can’t sleep? *giggles*

Cocaine so white it can shop at a Walmart without loss prevention following it.

Cocaine so white it joins a Barenaked Ladies tribute band

Cocaine so white it uses summer as a verb

During my recent breakup, my ex left his ps5 at my house. Of course he wants it back so should A. start playing Overwatch or B. League of legends?

Who wants to tell her?

Adhd is when you accidentally become an expert in Ancient Rome but can’t find your keys you literally just had in your hands

And for my final act of defiance, I choose to be happy

Cocaine so white it makes potato salad with raisins.

Cocaine so white it puts down not one, but two separation bars on the grocery store checkout conveyor.

cocaine so white it's a member of the HOA board

Cocaine so white it’s a cop

Cocaine so white it clapped when the plane landed

Cocaine so white it asked me if I ski with a straight face

What’s the matter, babe? You barely touched your promise to bring lunch from home

Adhd: Wanna make a to do list and never look at it again? Me: absolfuckinglutely

i hope this email doesn’t find you cause it’s for your dad

Are they flirting with me or just being nice: a chronicle

I hope I'm depressed and not just terribly lazy.

Not me avoiding all my responsibilities in favor of overanalyzing everything

This is the way 😌

Sorry, thought this was as the Better Help chat

Happy Fuck This Shit day to those who participate

Finally, A rapture to look forward too.

You're the beige of personalities..flirting.

Oh yeah? Rapture this! *points to my butt

Of course the rapture would be on a Tuesday so we have to endure one last Monday

Snacks at my place after the rapture.

I really thought I was gonna have to stop, drop and roll more in my life.

Monday hates you too

Me + my comfort movie

Live Laugh Love lift us up where we belong

Live Laugh Love Will Tear Us Apart

Bring me the moon, baby. Jk, where would I even put that?

You should ghost them -me, as a life coach

You’re not impossible to love, you’re an asshole. Go work on yourself

I don’t wear crop tops because I respect society’s right to not witness a crisis in fabric

There have been zero opportunities for me run away and join a circus and my childhood feels like a lie

pls stop teaching your parrot to call me names I’m beginning to develop a complex

i put the ‘me’ in Parmesan cheese

I think I'll go to bed early tonight. That way, I can get up bright and early to start hating on everything first thing in the morning

Don’t do it Breathe through it Love you

Just think, somewhere in the multiverse there’s a version of you that’s actually tolerable. Happy Sunday

First date ideas, coffin shopping.

Long story short,he died from his love of heavy metals, especially lead.

If you were down with OPP, it's time to join AARP!