Autotuned
@autotuned.bsky.social
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Yep
pinned post!
Just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
12 months ago
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Kellalena
3 days ago
I know origami, and Iām not afraid to fold you into a swan.
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jordan
2 days ago
My favorite metaphor for genitalia is āthe good chinaā.
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Whoa
3 days ago
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Pretty sure the entire world suffers from a internal server error
4 days ago
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Itās Monday. Itās cold. You bring the alcohol. Iāll bring the bad decisions.
4 days ago
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Miss Havishambles
5 days ago
Iāve never thrown my head back while taking a couple of pills. Everything in film is a lie.
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Bigthinkingcap
5 days ago
āfuck it like it owes you moneyā Monday
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Kellalena
5 days ago
I want to get hospitalized for exhaustion like a celebrity.
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d.ly
8 days ago
be a dear and bring me my favorite crazy straw and a bottle of bourbon, won't you?
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I love sour cream, but not a, *eats spoonfuls of sour cream straight out of the container* kind of love
7 days ago
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Spaghetti is a word that I love
9 months ago
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The only marathon I run is 3 seasons of a show in 1 weekend
11 days ago
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I donāt argue. I just explain louder.
14 days ago
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Baseball Momazon ā¾ļøš
15 days ago
Iāll pay you in Kohls Cash final offer - Contract negotiations
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You do realize that just because you talk on your Apple Watch, that does not make you a Power Ranger, right?
14 days ago
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RXSarsparillaš
15 days ago
Nothing good ever happens when I'm vertical.
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Danny
24 days ago
Russian agent: With which bird-watching group are you affiliated? 007: Bon. Audubon.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
19 days ago
"Any last words?" "SHORT-LIVED RHYMES WITH ARRIVED. AND THERE ARE TWO SYLLABLES IN ALLEGED."
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ficklenuts likes a good stuffing š¦
15 days ago
Give it to me, baby [me when I take candy from a baby]
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Kellalena
15 days ago
You had me at āI like a girl with personalityā because I have a few.
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BEAVE
6 months ago
A smutty bookstore called Happy Endings.
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Obviously everyone
10 months ago
Exercising out of spite is still exercise.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
19 days ago
I live in mortal fear of mispronouncing pecan in public.
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Another day and my ducks still arenāt in a row
18 days ago
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
18 days ago
I'm finding it hard to keep myself uninformed.
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Monday hates you too
2 months ago
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Kellalena
21 days ago
What season is it? Walmart: yes
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You break me you buy me
20 days ago
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Music is one hell of a drug
20 days ago
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I generally chase my multivitamin with Titoās
7 months ago
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Is it a November To Remember yet?
21 days ago
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andy vs
23 days ago
I write "how are ya" so they know I care but don't expect a very serious response
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Marl
21 days ago
One scoop of mashed potatoes per person and DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS
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What do you call a ghostās breasts? Paranormal entities.
21 days ago
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Unfortunately, true
23 days ago
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Rude!
23 days ago
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Forrest Plump
24 days ago
Due to unforeseen circumstances, we will now set our clocks back to The Twilight Zone during Daylight Savings
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Enough of the finding out. Letās just stick with the fucking around
24 days ago
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Blue Fairylicious Girlš§
26 days ago
Getting an extra hr in 2025 is like getting a complementary colonoscopy
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
25 days ago
I wish we could return to a simpler time before the Internet and pants.
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RealLifeMommy3
25 days ago
I donāt understand why people hire plumbers for small repairs; itās only taken me $40, 3 trips to Home Depot, the unnecessary replacement of one perfectly fine part, and Iām 85% sure Iāll have this figured out by next week
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Life hums its own melody
27 days ago
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Kellalena
27 days ago
Iām laid back but will lay forward if necessary.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
28 days ago
When I say I'm a man of substance I mean controlled.
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This world has just gone crazy!
28 days ago
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Get in loser, weāre about to make a series of decisions that could have us tied up for a while
28 days ago
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AnnaAnkaAnia
29 days ago
Today I started the "no sweets 4 weeks" challenge which I will restart tomorrow.
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Daisy
29 days ago
Sends you an edible arrangement after we have sex
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Mulva 2.0
29 days ago
Your guess is as good as mine. Except that one. Also, that one. Are you even trying?
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If time flies why doesnāt my watch have wings?
30 days ago
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