My wife said if I don't do page 7 of the Kama Sutra, she will leave me. It put me in a very difficult position.

kill fascism fuck hate marry xmas

Make a Bond movie casual Her Majesty's Postal Service

Balki Bartokomous on the streets, Larry Appleton in the sheets

O tidings of hamburger and helper Hamburger and helper O tidings of hamburger and helper.

I love you, Chinese food on Christmas Day. You’re the bestest thing to ever happen for me. 💕✨

"Let him go! Stay on the leader!" lol (o) lol

I delivered a lot of pizza and swam in GOP talking points when I couldn't stand top 40 format FM schlock anymore. Sometimes it was fun to yell at Sean Hannity or erupt with laughter from something Randi Roads said. Air America came and went during this era. My car's antenna had excellent choices.

A veteran of the pizza wars I delivered hot pies in a cellphone free world. Navigated by ADC map and serenaded by AM band talk radio. Dr Laura, Lars Larssen, Bernie Ward and Larry Elder. Elder groaned about LAUSD school failures. Lil Stevie Miller would call in and unspool untruths to shill along.

wasted fifteen minutes on a house spider escort mission

Slinging dumplings for the masses, yo.

now for the traditional eating of the christmas tree

🌿 🌿🍒 💋 muah!

Pro tip You are allowed to get twice as baked if forced to wait until 8:40pm to partake. Double that on a federal holiday according to OSHA.

just a reminder the 3 wise men in one area is highly unlikely

Oh lord. Cousin Meryl's baby daddy showed up to see Rowdy even though he has a restraining order.

Garland eyelash-framed, tinsel voiced Angel sprinkling serene swirls of curling cute arcs out in escape from her glistening pucker pink smooches powered by a rising ribcage full sail sobbing through ivory bitten plump lip hisses and moans of yuletide spirit so lush, jungle rivers weep.

The Christmas Shoes (2002)

I've got ninety-nine problems but just one like

On the 12th day of Bluesky-mas My true crush sent to me… 12 bakes awaking 11 butts a-parting 10 TikTok’s a-glitching 9 alts a-creeping 8 boob pics promised 6-7 Buscemi fellow kids memes 5 dm pings 4 calls to “go birds” 3 pity likes 2 lame-ass hugs …and a thirst pic of questionable authenticity! 🎄😘

Nobody’s rockin’ in the free world anymore.

Tiny Tim did NOT die, turns out but uh who uh is going to pay for it ? What is your single payer healthcare vision in vast detail on this cold eve of Nöel ?? - Mark Cuban

Wishing all the junkies out there a healthy fentynöel

Come upon my midnight clear

I have lots of friends who celebrate Kwanza.

Merry Christmas, thank you for your attention to this matter.

Dec 25th - Ralphie gets his Red Ryder B.B. Gun for Christmas. The family then go for a Chinese dinner after a pack of dogs ate their turkey. 📽️📅 A Christmas Story (1983)

Mrs Schrödinger: [*opening Christmas present*] Schrödinger: [*nervous glance to camera*]

It’s important to remember that when mom kissed you on Christmas morning, there’s a good chance she had cum breath.

Merry Christmas, and all that rigamarole.

tinnitus is actually your brain screaming

Is that your yule log or are you just happy to see me

Christmas memory from 2017: new kitten, and the first thing she does is climb to the top of the Christmas tree and take a nap.

Merry Christmas, and all that jazz.

Elf steaks.

Murray Chrimemus Merry Danksmas Merry Smokesmas Merry Cannabis

I would never want you to feel guilty for having a prosperous year ! I want you to feel prosperous, of course. Silly.

Merry Christmas if that's your thing.

Happy Birthday Ghislaine Maxwell

yes 911, i cut the paper too small

@imwintersmom.bsky.social Merry Christmas!

Tiny Tim, who did NOT hit her. He did not. Oh hi, ghost

Picked up the revival miniseries of this little gem this year.

It's here. I FINALLY finished season one of Trapper John MD and uploaded the latest Trap-Cast, which you can listen to below. Whew. Hope you enjoy. Should be on Apple Podcasts shortly. open.spotify.com/episode/6y3D...

Pope Leo said in a Christmas Eve sermon that the story of Jesus being born in a stable because there was no room at an inn should remind Christians that refusing to help the poor and strangers today is tantamount to rejecting God himself. For @reuters.com

If your Yule log is burning, there's a cream for that.