Who could be behind these crazy shenanigans? 🤔

Be afraid. Very afraid.

One day you’re young and the next thing you know you’re setting your phone font size to “billboard”.

SPOILER 'LERT. The ones protecting pedos are the bad guys and whatnot.

Goat is my co-pilot

"What happened?" "I’m stuck. It's so embarrassing." “I guess things went... a-rye?” “Please do shut up.” "You should get out of the sun." "Why?" "Otherwise, you'll be toast." "You're an asshole, Charlie." “You’re right, you deserve butter.”

Coachella Medical Staff Rush Overly Lucid Man To Emergency Psychedelics Tent https://theonion.com/coachella-medical-staff-rush-overly-lucid-man-to-emergency-psychedelics-tent/

I went and saw Project Hail Mary. A guy came in with his service dog and the dog sat there the whole time just concentrating on the movie. Afterwards I told the guy I was amazed your dog watched the movie like that. He replied, me too especially because he hated the book.

alex trebek in famous paintings: thread

Switching my car from sport mode to Depeche Mode

My Cat: Open the Fuckin’ Wet Food, you crazy bastard, or you’ll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah.

Some asshole just called me feckless when I got so many fecks it's ridiculous. Like at least 1,800 fecks and whatnot.

Tired of the old "elf on a shelf" nonsense? Canada GOTCHU.

Celebrating Easter with an egg sandwich

just saw the easter bunny and he’s fucking pissed

A Fist Full of Donuts

Oof Zach Steff today

I'm not sure about you, but I think the collapse of US hegemony, a global price spike and recession, and a new ground war in the Middle East are far worse than drag queens reading books at the library.

“Let my people goth.” - EMOses

Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-replaces-top-general-with-horse-that-drinks-beer/

Artemis II Mission Fails After Astronauts Miss Connection Rocket In Atlanta https://theonion.com/artemis-ii-mission-fails-after-astronauts-miss-connection-rocket-in-atlanta/

ahh, the old shell game

🎵 I'd stop the world and fly off the surface at breakneck speeds with you 🎵

“Our trials have demonstrated that newborns will startle and react to the crinkling of a Lay’s potato chip bag much sooner than previously thought,” said lead author Dr. Delaney Mueller

Wednesday

If I ever had a DNA editing robot I’d probably name it Gene Hackman as a little joke.

oh shit where will the trump administration find another smug prick who doesn't know what he's doing

it was the hexed of times, it was the cursed of times

“The United States contributes far more to worldwide suffering than any of our so-called ‘allies’ in NATO, and it’s high time these other countries started stepping up to the plate,” said the commander-in-chief

Folks, we have a winner www.cleveland.com/community/20...

But they were all deceived for a 5th loco was made

Found Russian sleeper cell

He warned us he would run our country like his businesses.

Much of the Trump Era consists of treating comically unsuited and unqualified people like they have something halfway intelligent to say because they've been put in positions normally occupied by people who do.

No. 8 #Malaysia #KualaLumpur #outdoor #photography #art #streetart #streetphotography #lights #lanterns #dēnglóng #photographersofbluesky #fujifilm #fujifilmxe5

I’m good.. in theory..

i respect the grind but i respect the recline more