Woah, that was a heavy one. Let's tuck that skeet away under those drafts and feelings

Every pleasure is a guilty pleasure if you were raised Catholic enough.

Sorry Proud Boys, you committed treason for nothing. Suck it. www.rawstory.com/trump-irs-im...

Cowgirl, so you can still yell at me.

Boom! You’re done. (me being the 70th like)

Wild Stallions have announced that they will no longer be playing Freedom Fest 250.

The people of Facebook are not okay.

1990s breakup: Can I have my CDs back? 2026 breakup: Delete that picture of my butthole.

This guy will no longer be playing at the Freedom 250 event.

DEVELOPING: Rob Lowe’s band from St. Elmo’s Fire has withdrawn from President Trump’s America 250 celebration.

Sorry to my space friends but it make me positively giddy when some rich douche bag’s rocket blows up.

I've never met anyone like you before (derogatory)

I'm a businessman traveling from Tokyo to San Francisco...for business, and I have to land in Topeka?????

you’ll get over it lol

me: I’m so burnt out adhd: we should learn Japanese, yeah? me: oooooo

We so stressed we don’t even care there’s aliens.

BB makes the most of her walk in the hot hot heat.

If anyone wants to watch jewel of the Nile I’ve never seen it. Or the Bruce Willis Christmas movie you guys all love…I’ve not seen that either. You know what I have seen? Fight Club. But I don’t ttalk about that.

The Trump phone comes with a script doctor, a coke dealer, a haz mat clean up team and Alan Dershowitz pre-programmed on speed dial

It doesn’t have to be somebody’s birthday to jump out of a cake at the office.

Tony Orlando AND Dawn? In this economy?

DJ Jazzy Jeff AND The Fresh Prince? In this economy?!

“fun”-sized ice cream bars…what’s fun about having to get up and go to the freezer 100 times?

Me in my Bluesky bubble.

A silent guardian, a watchful protector...a Dark Knight.

I may not be here all the time, but when I am, my posts flop.

Jaxson Dart: the Riley Gaines of NFL QBs.

cats will be like “does anyone wanna see my butthole” and not wait for an answer

When I’m 70, I want to be as young as Geena Davis.

The age old dilemma: to be funny or fall apart? I say, nay I DEMAND: why not both?

I love healing items in video games because it's like Oh, you got grievously injured in battle? Cool, eat an entire bar of chocolate or whatever in the middle of a fight, it'll fix you right up

Reskeet with a favorite picture of yourself.

Reskeet with a favorite picture of yourself.

have you tried not being a massive tool douchebag about it

EMS week is at an end, be sure to thank an ambulance crew next time you see one. We have a hard job, and it helps to know we're not forgotten.

Them: How are you doing? Me:

takes out my brain and throws it in the trash

qtp with a character that permanently altered your brain chemistry.

After weeks of Starbucks leadership telling every major newspaper in the country how mean Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson’s been to them by publicly not liking them, today she formally apologized saying she thought they knew everyone here including herself hated them already.

Old number 712, my first job as an EMT with AMR Seattle. #emsweek

"Some of those who work forces are the same who burn crosses."

Here's an example of how dumb people are on Facebook now. What's dumber is that 3 people liked his comment.

What if we paid the insurrectionists to beat up the Epstein clients?

If I ever woke up with a penis, just know the first thing I’d do would be a dick helicopter.

You guys ever just accidentally space out for 5 to 10 years

I wish the pope would drop a baby when someone hands it to him. Just once at least.

Remember that one time when David Lee Roth was an EMT in NYC? #emsweek

fuck a typo right in the assbutt goddamnit your mom

Biblically accurate manic depression.