What I'm wearing to the Bluesky Valentine's day Ball. What about you?

I didn't see this commercial during the Superbowl, now I understand why people were pissed about ring cameras.

I don't know if you guys have been over to Facebook lately but, oh my god are people dumb now!

ATTENTION: If you watched Kid Rock at the Turning Point USA half-time show, you may need a tetanus booster

Seahawks!!!!

Best Super Bowl Halftime Shows (as voted by "real Americans") 1. An All-Star Salute To White Bread 2. Disney's Tribute to Country Clubs 3. The South Will Rise Again!

Anti-biotics sure can kill a Saturday, my man...I say to myself on the way to the toilet for the 10th time today.

Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work. "Ma'am, if you don't stop yelling at me I swear to God I'm going to fall in love with you "

Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work. "I'm going to try something, I saw it in a cartoon once but I'm pretty sure I can do it."

No new pictures, where are you mentally?

Nonnes pictures, where are you mentally?

If Bluesky is a shoe store your account is the foot measurer thing

the cool thing about mamdani is that literally everyone who freaked out about him sucks

If you see this, post a character that starts with a 'G'.

A stingray is just a regular ray that tells you not to put on the red light.

In the drawer of silverware, I'm the corn on the cob holder you still have for some reason, even though you lost the other one.

I quit smoking for this? This is bullshit!

This is who runs this account.

This is who runs this account.

This is who runs this account

Share a preacher, nun or a priest.

Share a preacher, nun, or a priest.

Share a reacher, nun, or a priest.

A streetcar named Dick.

What's eating Gilbert Dick?

Shitposts on a hot tin roof.

Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.

@daisy91.bsky.social This book is about you I think.

People are out there right now on social media twisting themselves into knots over how Alex Pretti should not be able to carry a gun at a protest. They're going to scuttle the second amendment to own the libs. That'll show 'em.

"Tom Homan, shown here carrying around two paper bags filled with loose cash..."

Imagine being me. No, more muppets.

Man, there's some motherfuckers out there on social media today.

The thing that's most unbelievable about this shooting is, once the shots were fired, all the agents ran away. And then they just stood around.

Introduce yourself with five concerts you've seen: John Lee Hooker Metallica Soundgarden Neil Young Kris Kristopherson (I have eclectic tastes, I guess)

Huge if true

Ha! Pussies!

Two fakes giving an award to another fake.

Hot take: Twin Peaks is not a very good show and I don't know why people get nostalgic for it.

Ruin a band by changing one letter. Pearl Ham

Ruin a band by changing one letter The Cute

Ruin a band by changing one letter. Sage against the machine.

Tango and Cash will return in Avengers Doomsday.

This is what goes on in my head when Donald Trump tells Iran that "help is on the way."

He knows Republican policies are so bad that he could never win with an 'R' behind his name. Shit, his own policies are worse. If you live in this district, remember this shitty little humans face.

Bbbbbut her emails!

I miss the 70s when you could take a CPR class and the guy teaching it was smoking the entire time.

I can't join ICE because I don't have any Proud Boys tattoos.

Hot take: we would all be better off if Y2K had destroyed all the computers in 2000.

I can't join ICE because I don't have any felony convictions on my record.