patton oswalt has been suspended from bluesky for saying that megyn kelly should be fed to a woodchipper for justifying the sexual abuse of minors

Epsteins actual financial advice must have been like “u ned 2 itimize ur diductshins”

All the Epstein emails are like On Tue, November 21, 2017 at 8:16 AM, Larry Summers wrote: Have you seen the latest news? Get the popcorn ready… On Tue, November 21, 2017 at 8:18 AM, jeffrey E. <[email protected]> wrote: Pop cofn taste good .

Let me run the Bond franchise and I’ll blow him up at the end of every movie. Maybe several times within each movie if it feels right. He’ll be back the next movie (or scene) and nobody will talk about it, but man are we gonna explode that guy a LOT.

schumer asked fetterman to cave and he thought schumer was telling him to go home. just a little morning humor for you ha ha. anyways fuck chuck schumer

DONALD TRUMP: [asleep, drooling on long red tie] SENATE DEMOCRATS: fine, we give in

lol she got his ass and he knows it

Stunned onlookers were overheard asking “Did we die? Is this Hell?"

I've built a socioeconomic system that depends on everyone to do useful work and act ethically except the people at the top, who get unimaginable rewards for being antisocial frauds and criminals. And I think it will stand the test of time

me: i feel great my doctor: and your tests are perfect, youre in great health me: i know, thank you doctor my doctor: want an mri? me: fuck it, yea why not

@dndbeyond.bsky.social The new UI is great but there really should be an option to get rid of this free shipping banner

The president needs your help! He's collecting diarrhea for his plane. He has a plane that's 99% toilet with other people's diarrhea in it and he wears a little crown when he drives it around. Brave patriots please send your loose stool to your favorite diarrhea president for his diarrhea plane.

Come on Donny you can’t make it this easy

white house has joined bluesky click here to block all official us government accounts instantly bsky.app/profile/did:...

If I had explain American history in one sentence, I could do worse than "John Brown was hung for treason, but Robert E. Lee was not."

What the fuck is going on with all of the ICE recruitment ads during @AEW ? This shit is gross

Taylor Swift's song "Father Figure" is actually about Christian Cage

I’m horrified by Trump’s order to send 300 National Guard troops to Chicago. We’re only nine months into a four year term and already the president is trying to invade an American city. If you’re in the Guard, you can and should refuse these orders.

history teacher in 50 years: So in September, that’s when the president signed an executive order criminalizing anti-fascism and saying all resistance would be crushed student: oh so that’s when the whole country realized they were living under fascism teacher: haha what? oh no lol not at all. no.

I said what I said.

fuck ice airing commercials during dynamite, let em know: help.hbomax.com/us/Feedback/ tbsnetwork.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/req...

fifty years after the second nuremberg trials there are gonna be kids going into their grandfathers basement and finding these in carefully hidden display cases

Generational Freudian slip

Well don't I feel stupid

This is a long shot, but if anyone knows the presale code for the Minneapolis show or how to get one, that would be awesome #Health #CarpenterBrut

This is funniest possible headline for a song literally called "Song for Bob Dylan"

A grim reminder: these people will never be satisfied. There’s no point at which they will say “we’ve won, let’s enjoy life.” They will always be looking for someone else to punish, to revile, to dehumanize. They’re empty without that.

it's so funny to see America's health insurance companies be like "look. If there's one thing we love it's denying you care. but we ran the numbers - and we cannot BELIEVE we're saying this - and it's cheaper for us to just pay for the vaccines than deal with you going to the ER."

Trump: everyone in the US died from drugs last week Reporter: [nods] Trump: so we must murder on the high seas Reporter: [nods] Trump: I caught Trix rabbit once Reporter: [nods] Trump: the cock on that bunny Reporter: [nods] Trump: bigger than you think Headline: Trump Policy Seeks To Save Lives

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

man they really didn't give a shit about that guy. as soon as it was clear they couldn't use his death to launch a purge they started to treat it like a nothingburger

never forget

What an expertly called shot

Adjusted for inflation Spirited Away cost $22 million to make. The Triplets of Belleville cost $16.5 million, Cartoon Saloon's Wolfwalkers cost $14.28 million, and Oscar winner Flow cost only $4 million. These critically acclaimed, made by real people films, cost less than this pile of actual vomit.

TOKUGAWA SHOGUNATE ERA RODNEY DANGERFIELD: i tell you i get no respect. the daimyo says i have to commit seppuku to restore my house’s honor. okay. i write my death poem, no problem. i ask my wife if she’ll be my second and she says she wants to be my FIRST!

I am a hypermasculine and extremely powerful alpha male. As such my greatest fears are seed oils, rainbows, people who don't look like me being on TV, and preventative medicine. I cannot explain any of these fears and consider that to be your fault.

the thing is if you have a six hour day for eight hours pay & full employment you now have time to enjoy walking your dog. to cook yourself something at leisure. to enjoy taking care of your dwelling. the answer isn't magic robots. it's unions, it's workers getting the means of production

Happy Labor Day 🙂

I can

Old Soviet joke for today: A man walks into a newsstand every day, looks around, and leaves. After a long time of this, the owner says “Can I help you find something?” “I’m looking for the obituaries.” “The obituaries are in the back of the newspaper, comrade.” “Not the one I’m looking for.”

There’s one policy that Democrats could run on that guarantees they’d sweep back into power: making .webp images illegal

Making them wear high-visibility vests over camo is such a good joke you couldn’t write it

ChatGPT: no, going “Azrael mode” can be dangerous for yourself and those around you. Me: I am the avenging angel of God. The time of purification is at hand. Few shall be chosen. ChatGPT: you’re right. Let’s look at that again with the addition context that you are the avenging angel of God.

Interviewer: Why shouldn’t President Trump send the military to occupy your city? Big Important Democrat: I support and love the Police I really want to kiss the Police

RT if you also wish ill upon JK Rowling.