If Dems cave on health care subsidies, I might actually lose my fucking mind. "A vote in Senate on the issue" is 1000% meaningless.

"rich white guy who never speaks to normal human beings and has absolutely zero useful insights to share and pretends not to just be a republican but totally is" is the new "middle-class white guy in a diner who pretends not to just be a republican but totally is"

gonna repeat this: if you want to send your money to a man running against a republican senator this is the man to send your money to. he’s already been their senator people genuinely know and like him his campaign needs in state folks to knock doors for him. that takes cash.

Which psychologists consider this? Because maybe someone should take their licenses away and also lock them in a dungeon since they are literally a danger to society.

Wait till you hear about what Jesus did

Hey everyone, I'm excited to announce a brand new venture, Jesse Berney Insurance, we will insure your whole family for just $500 a month, and if you need us to pay for something just call us and beg us to cover you for $3.95 for the first minute and $1.95 for each minute thereafter.

"you haven't been very productive this saturday" OH REALLY WELL THEN EXPLAIN ALL THIS PROGRESS I'VE BEEN MAKING ON COOKIE CLICKER

WHY THIS MATTERS:

Well that's because gerrymandering in Texas is good for free markets and personal liberties and gerrymandering in Maryland is bad for free markets and personal liberties.

I stand corrected!

If you're criticizing KBJ over the stay, you either think she's turned evil, or--like Charlie Kirk--you think she doesn't have the brain processing power to do the job. Which is it?

This has to be fake. No one ever called Florida for Gore. Some called it for Bush, then took that call back.

FRANKENSTEIN sucks, sorry

This is my favorite of the post-Mamdani crash outs because you know this guy could say these exact words about anything, anytime. There are ALWAYS divisions, conspiracies, and distractions if you are looking for them!

I'm already frustrated at how much the next Democratic president will be blamed for the problems being caused by the Trump administration's destruction of the federal government.

Over at @cbsnews.com , the climate coverage team was just laid off. @heatmap.news does a great job drawing the obvious conclusion. open.substack.com/pub/heated/p...

I was just saying something similar to a client yesterday- that if Adams does replace the Rent Guidelines Board, Mamdani should just act like that wasn’t effective and name his own people

He needs to act Trumpian too, in the sense that he needs to muscle through as much as he can on his own. Just tell the bus drivers, for example, that they should start letting people on without paying. Work out the details later, but make the buses effectively free immediately.

this cat looks like it got surgery to look more like jocelyn wildenstein (I love her)

Elon Musk is an unapologetic and outright racist. There is not a hair's breadth between what he believes and what Nick Fuentes believes. Instead of ruining him, those beliefs have only served to help make him more powerful, more obscenely wealthy than any human being in history.

A client called me a "walking trash can" today but I swear they meant it in the nicest way.

OK but seriously, Republicans must know they have to compromise with Democrats on the shutdown after Tuesday. I realize they're terrified for some reason of the least terrifying, goofiest motherfucker ever to sit in the oval office, but clearly the American people are disgusted with them.

maybe the next democratic president should just burn the building to the ground and start over

all your sandwich puns are great, I mean it

IMPORTANT ALERT FOR DC RESIDENTS: do NOT leave your house without a sandwich. this is for YOUR safety.

man I can't think of a single thing that can go wrong with this

that's an average of 397 pounds per person

Did Our Failure to Implement Full Communism Ruin the Workplace?

y'all watch how quickly RFK Jr. runs away when faced with an unhealthy person

"now that we've reported on historically high layoffs, it's back to thirteen straight hours of hyping up AI companies, thank goodness there is no connection between these stories"

It was. There was never a time in my life I didnt want to work for NASA and Goddard has been the best place I've ever worked. It breaks my heart to leave but I can't risk staying while it falls apart. 💔

I don't think I've ever had more mixed feelings about a politician than I have had about Nancy Pelosi. She was a historic figure as the first woman Speaker, and she was wildly effective at that job, corralling Democrats in a way no one had before. But...

at least it wasn't "females"

I've said this about billionaires, but I think it's just as true of the Speaker of the House: what's the point of accumulating all that wealth and power if you still have to bow and scrape to a piece of shit like Donald Trump?

The Thing I Don't Like Doesn't Matter by momma's special boy

Let's give this guy some grace. You'd need to drink at work too if you're forced to spend your day dehumanizing innocent people on the basis of their ethnicity.

I suspect this is basically them planning out more permanent signage.

big news everyone, I have once again won bluesky's most prestigious award

Tommy Tuberville remaines the stupidest politician on the planet. There's gotta be a Democrat somewhere in Alabama that could beat this guy when he runs for governor.

Lina Khan should run for president in 2028 just to move the Overton window [checks wikipedia] FUCK

now that the election is over, it's time to get back to the important issues like erika kirk definitely fucking jd vance

just laughed to myself thinking about how sad andrew cuomo is today

no one should read too much into our massive embarrassing losses as a party

wow, what a terrible take -- NYC has already burned to the ground after transgender immigrant baristas turned the children gay

ahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaha hahahahahahhahaha he's so fucking tacky ahahahahah ahahahahahah ahahhahahahahahahah ahahahahahhahahahahahhaha a ahahhahahahahahaha

Watched his speech this morning, and I was struck by something -- while he is a genius-level retail politician, he's only an average orator. He needs to learn to modulate!

There’s no reason ever again for any Democrat to suggest moderating on trans rights. There was never a moral reason but now there’s no political reason either. Somebody tell Gavin Newsom and Pete Buttigieg. it’s joe-ver.

Go to sleep, my little angels. Tomorrow we implement full communism.

Thinking back to the beginning of the first Trump administration whwn they wheeled out all those binders of blank pages to prove Trump was handing off his business interests and how that would have been an administration-ending scandal in a normal world. And now that seems like NOTHING.

🥳🥳🥳 dick cheney is still dead 🥳🥳🥳