“everyone is twelve” theory has reached Senator Kelly

do you have any idea how much you have to piss somebody off to make them change their gauge

Twitter had to turn off its location feature within hours because thousands of prominent and "verified" MAGA accounts turned out to be foreign and I think it's hilarious that Elon was the one who exposed them all

QANON CULTIST IN 2017: "In this 1,879 page thread I will unravel the byzantine system of codewords and phrases the global elite use to mask their pedophile cabal." JEFFREY EPSTEIN WRITING AN EMAIL AT THE SAME TIME: "helo its me jeff had fun cmmitting sex crimes wit u lst weeknd"

these people mostly voted for the Nazi porn candidate btw

The funniest reactions to the elections are the Republicans on Twitter saying stuff like “well after Jay Jones won, we are never taking scandals seriously again, we will nominate candidates who have no morals and say anything!!!” - like I’m just not sure anyone is going to notice the difference

basically every 2024 truism is dead. Trump did not build a lasting multiracial coalition or turn young men into committed Republicans. You don’t need to cave on trans rights to win. The pundits have nothing left to tell you.

Turns out you don't have to throw trans people under the bus to win. Eat shit Yglesias & Co.

We’re the party of people who went to college, and we should refuse to apologize for it.

Body cams apparently show Border Patrol agents joking about tossing tear gas at a nonviolent protest, with one agent saying "Hey, throw it [tear gas] for fun." Agents then tried to drive away, but there was apparently so much tear gas they were overcome, couldn't drive, and had to leave on foot.

What happens when you distill 2025 into a single social media post? This. This is what you get.

I think that the next step in the civil resistance campaign to Trump should be inflicting punishment on elites and institutions who cave. They need to understand that there are costs to compliance

New ICE recruiting methods have resulted in half of this group of absolute winners failing AN OPEN BOOK TEST

Reminder that Violent J of Insane Clown Posse has the correct response to a lot of the shitty things he said in the early days.

WOW! Protesters created a HUGE human sign on San Francisco’s Ocean Beach reading “No Kings YES on 50” to support California’s Prop 50 and stand up against Donald Trump’s fascist regime

Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."

this is like half of r/ups now

this isn’t true, but i strongly encourage the president to keep telling the country he’s going to cut off their social security and medicare

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

The problem with every post-Millennial generation is they got to go straight to high speed internet. Of course you'll get computer madness that way. Make them start with those old screeching modems and work their way up

You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If two state lawmakers in MN get killed, nobody panics, because anti-Dem violence is normalized. But one GOP podcaster gets shot, well then everyone loses their minds.

being online right now feels like being harry and marv just getting walloped by paint cans to the face ... except it is posts

curb episode where larry gets dragged to a birthday party for a guy he doesn't know and decides to write something funny in the guestbook. cut to present day, larry's at home watching the evening news: "comedian larry david wrote 'happy birthday, i know your little secret' in jeffrey epstein's book"

Doomers: The 2026 election doesn't matter, Republicans are just going to rig the whole thing anyway Various red state republican incumbents: I'm just going to quit now because if I run in 2026 I'm going to get absolutely killed

Americans broadly hate all of this, and we all gotta remember that when it feels like things are spinning out of control

Markets going up in June 1944 is so funny

We need some sort of nationwide instructional program to retrain people on how to behave in public www.sfchronicle.com/food/restaur...

showing an unhealthy elderly man increasingly upsetting news stories about him until something funny happens

Just came through my desk: Per Los Angeles District Attorney, an armed off-duty U.S. Border Patrol Officer was charged with assaulting a Long Beach police officer and resisting arrest in the Shoreline Village parking lot in the city of Long Beach on July 7.

Cuomo spent the whole campaign trashing the Democratic Party while Mamdani never shied away from being a Democrat. For both centrists and leftists it's an important lesson: if you want to win a party primary you should outwardly like the party.

since younger people are asking how shockingly stupid things were in 2003, may I present to you this circa-03 sign that I bought from a local restaurant and their (unrelated) going out of business sale a few years later

> @dkthomp.bsky.social

new pope! *crowd goes wild* American pope! *crowd boos* woke for an American! *crowd goes wild* bad on protecting abusive priests! *crowd boos* hates JD Vance! *crowd goes wild*

so fucking funny that Trump is so stupid that he's completely sunk the political fortunes of his allies in Canada

Trump becomes the first American president to lose a Canadian election

Mountains

Welp, got an answer to this question: Apparently the answer is no tariffs are being collected. Trump broke the system www.cnbc.com/2025/04/11/c...

you know the us economy isn't looking good when the right wing talking points shift to transgender sports and it's not even a normal sport, it's fencing. like yeah if you hear about transgender ping pong start taking your money out of the bank

>don’t secure a single deal >market collapses >unilaterally capitulate >???? >ART OF THE DEAL

Watch out FC lol

Wall Street bets discord is so goddamn funny right now

Felt like playing DDR instead of balatro today

ITL time