Meet “my” big buck with two of his harem. There is a herd of roughly 15 deer who make my yard a regular resting place. 💕🦌💕

Soulmates are forever but more than likely, not in this lifetime.

Family is with whom you make it.

Hours alone could be ours alone

Everything okay babe? You didn't say "cows" when we drove by that field of cows

We need our allies more than ever.

Melancholy is the warm, fuzzy blanket of sadness.

The bears can’t sleep either.

if you die in a sex dream your sex life dies in real life

I just got back from a couple days in Montreal and the city is wonderful but it's a little weird being around unarmed citizens with healthcare who understand three syllable words.

Sorry I didn’t come to your party but I have a bruise and everybody woulda asked me how I got it

When I die I want my hearse to play ice cream truck music

Pretty sure I don’t think I could ever really complete anyone however, driving someone insane now that’s something I could totally do.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to my American friends! 🇺🇸 May your stuffing be tasty, May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. And to the rest of us … happy Thursday. 🇨🇦 ♥

Just got your text. Are we still on for last night?

I got my whole family gym memberships for Christmas. I won’t have to buy anyone presents next year when they stop talking to me.

And that’s OK!!!! #mentalhealthmatters🫶

I love Thanksgiving. It’s the one day I can eat like I’m on death row, surrounded by the people who put me there

@thetweetofgod.bsky.social Your turn.

I’m 3 goddamn years sober today!! Best decision I ever made for myself 🤗

only in canada can you have black friday deals but no thanksgiving makes no sense to me

Do you even tell your dogs how much you love them everyday, bro?…

"Once you grow up, you realize you don't want to be crazy in love. You want to be calm in love, stable in love, patient in love, understood in love, safe in love. Your partner should give you peace of mind and reassurance, not constant little heart attacks and high anxiety." 🖤

No more Thanksgiving invites please…I’m not homeless this is just how I dress.

For however awkward you assume that I must be....double it.

I usually update my doctor on my progress by showing him my notes on my phone. (bad memory & it’s easier) He was reading through them when he paused and asked if I wanted a coffee. Confused, I wasn’t sure how to answer. He grinned cheekily and told me that my sister had just texted me. 😂

We’re all weird. It’s not a competition

I desperately need an edit button. I’m so stoopid sometimes.

guys, don’t forget to drink water. you don’t deserve to be depressed AND dehydrated.

me: did you finish inside me surgeon: please stop saying it that way

Welcome to all the new people joining Bluesky! Hi! I’m God. 👋🥹

*during sex Are you mad at me? It feels like you’re mad at me.

Realized I never said "unquote" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare

Still holding on, Wilson Phillips. Please advise.

Wait. Hear me out. An advent calendar filled with Ativan. An ativant calendar.

I'm excited to use my new knee brace! -Saddest shit I've said as an adult

Some starter pack or something is sending me a whole bunch of followers. I appreciate whoever is doing it, but don’t you realize they are all going to be really, really mad at you?

How dare you say I'm crazy on the eve of my cats wedding

A dragon was born

@7-islands.bsky.social Hey! There you are. I was looking for you. 👋😂❤️