Pentagon is recruiting troops to watch White House UFC fights, but they can’t be fat or short. 🤦🏽‍♂️

It's a cult.

Dumbest mother fuckers on the planet. 👇

There hasn’t been an honest medical report about this guy since 2015

“The new James Bond game doesn’t have enough kissing hot girls and his boss is DEI,” I say to my microwave as a frozen dinner turns in slow circles, each rotation another sliver taken away from my soul

So conservatives are going all on who's the true Texan and Talarico is 8th generation and his girlfriend is descendent of a Texas declaration of independence signer. Meanwhile Ken Paxton is from South Dakota.

JUST REMEMBER MAGA HATES YOU YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO HATE THEM BACK

*two fistfuls of lasagna Are you wet now, babygirl?

What are the odds on Jaxon Dart making it through the NFL season without a broken bone.

BREAKING: According to a White House official speaking on condition of anonymity, even after Trump’s two-hour nap in the Situation Room earlier today, the administration still hasn’t figured out how to end his crazy-ass war of choice in Iran. Shocking, I know.

@bornmiserable DID NOTHING WRONG! FREE TONY THIS IS A FUKEN EMBARASSEMENT FOR THE MODS

The magic of pre-AI TV.

I’m so fucking tired of trump wanting his name and picture on everything!! He’s nothing but a prick! A dumb one at that!! Fuck Donald Trump!!

I'm just going to say this for the hundredth time: The U.S. has been at war with Iran since mid-2025; there have been lulls but no ceasefires. Trump went to war at the behest of Israel, Saudi Arabia, and the UAE for financial reasons having nothing to do with national security.

Trump is now essentially loudly warning any Epstein - or his own - sexual assault victims that he will have his DOJ investigate and prosecute them if they so much as even think about going after any of the perpetrators in legal actions. Pretty blatant and horribly corrupt.

Bill and Hillary Clinton’s testimony was under oath, on camera. Lutnick and Bondi were NOT under oath and their testimony was NOT recorded. Republicans have made a mockery of the law to protect Trump.

Marco Rubio must be appalled at his fall from relevance in the GOP. Once a promising young Senator, he’s now in charge of a hollowed out State Department that has most ambassadorships unfilled, dismantled WHO & USAID that he used to champion, a corrupt negotiating team on Iran. He’s ruined for life.

Due to inflation, a picture is worth 72.6 words…

If ICE were an actual immigration enforcement agency rather than a lawless paramilitary force they would ignore protesters

Bovino’s found a final solution to the “immigration problem.”

At the end of the day, Trumpism will collapse because they are stupid and thick

Trump is what happens when a bunch of slave owners set up a government to protect their wealth by establishing elite rule through the Senate, Electoral College, and no one fixing it for 250 years

The minute Trump said he was sexually attracted to his daughter... His entire career should have ended there.

I’m not demanding. I just want all the fascists to shut up and fuck off.

Congrats to Freedom250 for finally booking a new act.

This country is gonna need a very long shower after he's gone.

Palestinian authorities say Israel has violated the U.S.-backed ceasefire 3,000 times since agreeing to the deal last October, killing more than 900 civilians since then.

Tales in fathood… I got myself an 8 piece chicken for later tonight after dinner, and a coconut cream pie… that’s fat planning…

If MAGA is mad about Obama unfreezing $1.7 billion of Irans funds, wait till they find out trump is giving them $300 billion for reconstruction.

Shine on, you lab produced diamond…

Didn’t Epiphany sing I think we’re alone now?…

The cruel hypocrisy of the Republican party is that they believe in their core that government agencies are worthless, inefficient, wasteful, and corrupt... So they elect politicians who ENSURE they are right.

I used to suffer from stick drift…

The only things between US and the complete fall of democracy are the courts. Terrifying.

I’m calling bullshit on the artists canceling the concert. I don’t believe they were duped, I just think they didn’t expect the concert to be the end of their careers, so now they’re bailing out due to all the hatred expressed online the last couple of days. You’re not fooling anyone, we see you.

A trans man was just killed in Kentucky. A trans woman was killed in Seattle, Texas , and Chicago. This is all in the last week and doesn’t even include everyone trans who was killed. It keeps happening. It keeps happening more.

You just know they’re going to roll Lee Greenwood out of moth balls for that dumb ass America 250 concert…

I’m willing to do a cage match against Stephen Miller and Spencer Pratt…

NEW: The DOJ has launched criminal investigations into all performers who canceled their appearances at Trump’s concerts.

American capitalism doesn’t want competition, that’s why they won’t allow Chinese electric vehicles here…

I can’t eat an everything bagel… it makes my mouth confused

If you laugh at immigrants committing suic*de or Palestinian people being starved, shot, and burned alive by bombs: You are subhuman and evil.

I'm sure it's just a happy coincidence.

BREAKING: For the 59th time since early March, Trump says he's close to a deal with Iran

The same white Conservative Christians who proclaim that Trump is their Messiah are the same white Conservative Christians who used their religion to help America enslave humans, banned interracial marriage, forbade women from voting, fought the Civil Rights Movement, and hate LGBTQ Rights. #ssdd

You guys hear about the lady that was fined for driving with a phone in her right hand that didn't even have a right hand??? That cop should be fired. If not for being an asshole, then for being so stupid not to foresee the mockery this would become.

Affluenza manchild Spencer Pratt doubles down on his obvious and cruel lie that the unhoused in Los Angeles are from somewhere else, claims they're on "fentanyl and super meth." (Most of these people are sober, employed, and they simply cannot afford homes.)

I see Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are now locked in a fierce battle for the previously uncontested title of who can unite the most people across the world in joy at the explosion of a spaceship.

Also fuck the GOP for pretending that Donald Trump isn't certifiably insane.