fredesque
@fredtaming.bsky.social
📤 10189
📥 452
📝 3704
hello. he/him. fan of stuff. lover of things. enjoyer of items.
pinned post!
waiter: is pepsi ok pepsi: take a look around you, does any of this seem ok
over 2 years ago
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fredesque
fuck i mixed up pavlov with schrödinger and now every time i ring a bell a cat might die
about 1 month ago
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once i get my plow fixed it's over for these hoes
almost 2 years ago
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im not saying this weed is good but i forget how vcrs work
2 days ago
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i hope today is the day i get that 17 phone calls from the loan processing dept
3 days ago
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amberkitty
4 months ago
God: I’m gonna give them eyelashes to keep stuff from getting in their eyes Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out? God: ok you’re gonna laugh
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mindflakes
3 days ago
You can use the 'summon' button on my profile page to call on me for aid in battle. Surprised how many of you haven't been taking advantage of this
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Viktor Winetrout
3 days ago
So weird how hot dogs come in packages of ten and your dad tried to kiss me
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[cats] think ill go to another part of the house and scream at god
almost 2 years ago
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me: i have a bunch of anxiety rn brain: how bout a coffee me: idk sounds like a bad idea brain: iced coffee me: ok yeah that makes more sense
about 1 year ago
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old roadside pics
3 days ago
peterson's rock garden, redmond, oregon, 1987
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[holding hand over receiver] everyone shut the fuck up, the menu options have changed
over 2 years ago
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helios ☀️
4 days ago
"dont worry ill just tell you when"
add a skeleton here at some point
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starting to have my doubts about the prestigious FIFA Peace Prize
4 days ago
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fredesque
will i get WWIII if i didnt see WWI or WWII
9 months ago
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Tim Onion
4 days ago
Killing schoolgirls in Operation Le Epic Bacon so people forget about the dead economy and the president's pedophile best friend for ten minutes.
add a skeleton here at some point
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[getting murdered by waiter] this is great, thanks
over 2 years ago
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Dominique Ramsey 𓃥
12 days ago
The past and present
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Dominique Ramsey 𓃥
10 days ago
When I think of you
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Dominique Ramsey 𓃥
8 days ago
Mars
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Dominique Ramsey 𓃥
6 days ago
I never knew love like this before
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[dead in the morgue] *one leg outside body bag*
2 months ago
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can anyone loan me $63,999
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
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life finishes flashing before my eyes while in a hot air balloon crash but theres still 17 minutes until impact
7 days ago
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doctor: lets test your reflexes me: thats a regular hammer doctor: then i hope theyre good
about 1 year ago
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sweetie π
7 days ago
they should have an escalator that leads you straight into the sea
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Ygrene
7 days ago
going on the dark web to look for a new pair of Sleeping Jeans
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donni saphire
7 days ago
Using my potent sensuality for good. At first. Then for evil
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life finishes flashing before my eyes while in a hot air balloon crash but theres still 17 minutes until impact
7 days ago
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[a dad walking the plank] ..teak?
over 1 year ago
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[sending my heights back to the kitchen] these are underwuthered
9 days ago
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putting red onions on the glizzy , just how the elite do it (because i am out of white or yellow)
12 days ago
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fredesque
karasocial relationship 💜
13 days ago
i heard that jizzing on tramp stamps is making a comeback
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Trevor Risk
13 days ago
My version of this for years has been: I asked my Sherpa what he was gonna eat when we got up the mountain and he said "alpaca lunch".
add a skeleton here at some point
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Travis comma bitch
13 days ago
Me: that's Walter under the bridge Friend: it's "water" lol Me: *pointing to a body as it floats down the river* no
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me: what can you tell me about this piece peruvian art dealer: alpaca bowl me: hell ya lets smoke up and talk art bro
13 days ago
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GOLD FOR US WOMENS HOCKEY LFGGG
13 days ago
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me: what kind of animal is that tour guide: alaskan otter me: ok, let me know what he says
about 1 year ago
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me: what can you tell me about this piece peruvian art dealer: alpaca bowl me: hell ya lets smoke up and talk art bro
13 days ago
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Joaquín Baldwin
14 days ago
THE WINNER
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my cat: holy shit holy shit me: what my cat: is that the corner of a book hanging over the edge of the coffee table?? me: yeah my cat: gonna rub my face on it me: ok
15 days ago
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inventor of worcestershire sauce: but what to call it guy that named wednesday: u ready to fuck some ppl up bro
over 2 years ago
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Ben Phillips
16 days ago
I don’t know who needs to hear Jesse Jackson leading the kids on Sesame Street in this beautiful call-and-response reminding them that every child is somebody, but here it is
loading . . .
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honestly i dont even care what trick you do, man, just the fact the guy rode down that massive slope backwards is insane (skiing big air on rn)
17 days ago
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born miserable
18 days ago
sorry Pink Floyd, turns out that we needed education. a lot of it. all of the education, really
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[on phone after rap battle] mom is it true
over 1 year ago
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🫡🇺🇸
add a skeleton here at some point
18 days ago
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weeder
19 days ago
Oh I thought you said "neck romancer" no, I'm not into this at all, sorry
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[inventor of the highlighter] i really enjoyed some of your book
10 months ago
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[horse sliding a shot of whiskey in front of me] why the short face
over 2 years ago
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harpy
3 months ago
Paul Blart: Mind Freak
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