Thanks a lot I cringed so hard at this I now need medical attention.

Need to call the Ursa Major Crimes Division.

(to the tune of “evil woman”) soup in a bread bowl

just guess

finally people are speaking out as -don’t-want-to-watch-videos-Americans

Underneath it all, aren't we the same? Don't we all wish to be an author of mild esteem who lives in a small coastal town and solves minor mysteries that befuddle the local authorities using our wits, charm, and strong whiskey?

Possible Antifa sighting in my backyard yesterday.

Autocorrect, when I type S-E-C I am always typing the word "section" please do not change it to "sex" these are work texts!

Portlanders — show off your corner of war-ravaged Portland below.

a fun game to play whenever some smear-job on a state or local democratic official or candidate starts circulating in the news clippings is to see whether or not it's sourced to a local television station's reporting. if you look up the call sign it's almost always a sinclair-owned station

This is an absolutely extraordinary, revelatory quote. Why is the NBC affiliate in Portland the only place reporting it? www.kgw.com/article/news...

obviously the answer is to choose vacation destinations by how easy it is to fake your own death there.

For 26 but especially 2028 it's time for Democrats to make clear that the current Supreme Court will have to be reformed (expanded in number, reformed in structure) to allow popular govt to continue in the United States. Not so much a litmus test as precondition for any other promise to be credible.

Liz Breunig dropped it too. Abortion restrictions in return for better maternal care and policy is not the exchange on offer and no politician or public figure is serious about offering that trade or seeing it come about.

Door to door mail delivery is a basic necessity in a developed community. It's wild that anyone would ever want to get rid of it.

Everyone should get mail delivered to them in my opinion! You shouldn’t have to go to a box a block away from where you live when the post office is a foundational service that’s not supposed to turn a profit

its so funny they spent all that money on AI thinking this was finally going to be their chance to liquidate the masses and then upload themselves to a computer on mars. RIP you are stuck here with us

we must abolish ICE

When does Axios dementia watch coverage resume this season

sometimes people they ask me Langdon they say how do you endure the bleakness of days and hard silences of night, the gaps in thought where god should speak but does not and I’m like are you stupid. I feel very bad. that’s what I do. how dumb are you. I’m alive and I feel bad. come on

One-shotted by feds for looking at my to do list and saying "what is to be done"

I hope the military stays safe in Portland. When I took my family there we were terrified of the largest Japanese garden in the US, the independent book store selling banned books, the massive & free rose garden, and urban green spaces. What a hellscape.

my biggest vice is holding together some joinery in the garage

TBH there is no way to design any system to counteract an executive declaring "I have all power and can exercise it arbitrarily" when a majority of the legislative and judicial branches responds with "that's right." Such a society is too primitive for modern governance and the rule of law.

It's pretty wild to me that investigators have uncovered that anti-trans campaigns are largely funded by the fossil fuel industry, and that the presumed motivations are pretty directly to redirect the public conversation away from climate change... and that this isn't bigger news.

Me and a regiment of wild eyed heteros setting up a defensive perimeter around Powell's. This is unrelated to politics or current events.

"Tax cuts and harder borders will fix this" - what you have been doing for thirty years now.

i made a helpful reference

Re: the male loneliness epidemic, there is *still* not enough emphasis on how many heterosexual girls and women are staying single out of self-preservation, because the sexual norms that many heterosexual boys and men have adopted are exceptionally dangerous.

the only jobs in the future are investigator, thief, investigator-thief (bounty hunters/gunslingers), mechanic-pilot, and courtesan

I'm woozy from the flu and for one effervescent moment, I was convinced the singular of 'sheep' was 'shoop'

"I'd like your least ostentatious option, please."

I miss my 50-year streak of not knowing who the Secretary of Health is or anything about them.

Doors of Mount Hood Cemetery, Rochester....

“Every powerful person in history was terrible. In this essay, I will…”

You 1000% have permission to laugh as hard as you want at James Comey getting jerked around by Trump's dumbfuck DOJ btw

Folly Beach, Charleston, South Carolina - 1929 https://botfrens.com/collections/173/contents/39846

"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself? "fork lady is eroding public confidence." "ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field." "lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability." that's what you sound like.

sticking a knife in this toaster about the current political climate

postal workers should be a class of monastic zealots. we should fear them as much as we rely on them

These guys rolling up in this thing

You have to pass the right hand drive test and the left hand axe throwing test

Having spent some time in the postal service I agree they should be monastic but they should also get an axe and a gun

Once she asked me what I was doing for work in Italy and when I told her we had spent that day picking up fallen leaves by hand because the unit didn't have any rakes she said "I understand if you can't talk about it if it's classified. You don't have to insult my intelligence by making things up."

It reads like a performance of taking the moral high ground, but doesn't actually tie back to a functional system of ethics

The interesting opposite of this is General Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord. Post-WW1 titan of the German army. Who Hitler DESPERATELY courted. von Hammerstein is one of only 3 figures believed to have told Hitler to fuck off to his face. He even thwarted Nazi attempts to politicize his own death. /1 🧵

This is the funniest made up expert door plate I’ve seen so in a Perry Mason episode, I love every part of it RUFUS BOLDING DISPUTED HANDWRITINGS EXAMINER OF QUESTIONABLE DOCUMENTS

I’m going to start shrieking NEVER HESITATE IN THE FATAL FUNNEL in every work meeting as a motivational phrase