I would not rule out Spurs going through here. Atleti have offered less than nothing so far. Against this absolute shower of a Tottenham side.

That Vicario save is great tbf.

This is doubly insane when you consider that Denzel Washington was 47 when he did Training Day.

Tottenham leading. At home.

This Liverpool team doesn't deserve Dominik Szoboszlai. They are Tranmere Rovers without him.

Look man, he's onside

Playing 5-4-1 when you need to score 4 goals should be a sackable offence. Just slap on 6 strikers. You're 5-2 down already.

Spurs are playing against a team wearing a Total 90 kit. It's all ogre for them.

Romero and Van de Ven start for Spurs. So, what minute do we think Romero loses his head and gets a stupid red card? I'm going 27.

It is wild to see the Barcelona score, and know that it was 2-2 after 48 minutes.

Sky advertising the Carabao Cup final as the " top scorers" taking on "the top defence". Arsenal are the top scorers and have the best defence so they clearly think that the only team who can beat Arsenal is Arsenal.

I have laughed at this for like 5 minutes straight. This is like a white child misbehaving in a supermarket.

PSG fans waving goodbye to the Chelsea fans as they leave early. Excellent shithousery.

Oh Schick, they're bringing on Patrick.

Onceakusen were unlucky that they didn't get a weaker team than us, because they've been pretty good over the tie.

That Eze shot was so hard, they played it in slow motion and the ball is travelling regular speed.

If this isn't offside, Bernardo Silva should be sent off here.

We...have not started well. Gonna be a long night.

This is 1000% true. You can convince yourself that a half size too small will fit. And it's what I do with football boots and kart boots. But too big and you look like you stole your dad's shoes.

I'm not an umlautman, I'm an umlaut, man

U to the umlaut, m to the mizzay.

"I'm like, fuck diacritics / you can kiss my whole asshole"

The car that can't do off-road, and has fail-deadly central locking? Sure, can't see any problems with that at all.

The fact that I work near Stamford Bridge, and the fact that everyone hates us, makes it all the sweeter. I've got smoke for everyone if we win the league. I've been waiting for this for so long. Nothing will dull the shine.

Gasoline is incredibly cheap in the US if they're complaining about less than 4 dollar US gallons. Brits are paying 7 dollars per US gallons.

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Is there a reason he's come dressed as Switch?

I was incredibly sick last week. Got better, went back to work, and now I have a chest infection I think.

I've been playing through Danganronpa, and it is wild. It's Ace Attorney set in a high school where students murder each other.

Watching Spurs lose yet again is soul enriching. Little bit sad about losing the North London Derby next year though.

Salah and Gakpo both dropped for Spurs? Arne Slot don't rate Tottenham at all.

They've got to fix this for Japan or park those cars surely? They're not safe to race if the drivers aren't in control of the car because they're hurt.

15 cars left. This is like the mid 90s for real.

Max's front left looks angry.

This is like a cup tie. I feel sick and I don't even really care about either of these teams.

Mavropanos took that full in the face. Yikes

If West Ham hold on, that might be that for the league.

Anthony Gordonis causing Chelsea all kinds of problems. They look unable to cope with his pace right now.

That is an incredible save.

Cheating and still crashing and burning is incredibly funny, and nothing less than they deserve

That Williams is a shitbox innit? They're much slower than everyone but Cadillac and Aston Martin.

It's 90s Pop Funkster, Jamiroquai, here. #totp

The race after China is Japan?! My sleep cycle is never going to recover

6 years since I ruined everything

I don't think TNT have mentioned it, but did you know that on March 26th, it's moving to it's new home in the UK, on HBO Max, where along with the sport you can watch award winning TV shows and the movies that you love.

I am right in thinking that this Real team doesn't have Camavinga, Mbappe or Rodrygo in it, right? It could have been even worse for Man City

It's hugely appropriate that Marc Guehi is having a Woodgate type debut here of all places.

The BBC are really going out of their way to not call these The Peter Files.

Remembering that a notification is just that. It's to notify me of a message. It's not a summons. I can answer at my leisure.