"The 24 hour stream will play indie music from labels such as Geffen, Sony, EMI, Island..." www.bbc.com/mediacentre/...

Curry, Cobra, (food) coma

On my way, Clacton.

Having another kiki with the Scissor Sisters before a return to Dreamworld...

Got into a festival yesterday with two flapjacks in my bra* *Not a euphemism

Someone from our table ordered food that came to 'Sixteen ninety' and I let out a big 'WAHEY!' before realising I was in Lancashire and no one else would find it funny.

There's a grey background and a West Mercia Police badge. Saved you a click.

Happy Fourth of July everyone!

Me: LADS LADS LADS I GOT PROTEIN The Lads:

Oh no #totp

in tears at the guy throwing down the kangaroo after that PK

JrH (16) just told me that until very recently they didn’t know that ‘sitcom’ is a contraction of ‘situation comedy’ and instead thought it was ’sit-down comedy’ as in ‘opposite of stand-up comedy’. I may never recover from this information

That's actually come across as quite menacing, Dad.

This is Harley. She's never rolled down a hill before, but she's super proud of her first attempt. 13/10 nailed it (TT: jesskoselke)

From now on, anytime someone asks me why I put so much time and effort into this arguably dumb account, I will simply tell them that I do it for Tim.

I remember Nelson's Column and obviously, Drop The Dead Donkey, but Hot Metal is a new one on me and I'm quite enjoying it.

One of my favourite paintings is “The Garden of Unclaimed Dishwashers” by Anonymous Bosch.

Imagine travelling thousands of miles just to spend your evenings doing zoomies over the same few houses... It's hard not to be impressed 👇 #SwiftAwarenessWeek

My Dad is class. I told him I'd finally killed the air compressor he bought me for the car 20 years ago and he just casually handed me a floor pump out of his garage.

Sam Matterface’s full name is Sam Matter You Hey Gotta No Respect What-a You T'ink You Do Why You Look-a So Sad It's-a Not So Bad It's-a Nice-a Place Ah Shaddap-a You Face.

34

❤️

I was too young for Our Friends In The North the first two times round, bawling my eyes out here 🤣😭

I’ve mentioned that I’m a recovering crippling perfectionist. I’m not joking. I have lost jobs in part because my perfectionism became so bad that I just… stopped doing my work because I’d avoid it. So when I say that the advice here is golden, I really mean it.

Technically, they’re Remains now.

*Watching One Foot In The Grave* wow this didn't age well (shot of a couple living comfortably in a beautiful semi detached Greater London house on a retired security guard's pension)

One thing has led to another, and now I have a folder full of news headlines about people getting beaten off. I offer no apology at all.

IT'S THE BIG ONE! I've always wanted to cover the 30 year war between Ken Barlow and Mike Baldwin on Coronation Street. The alpha dogs of the cobbles. So I did, to the sound of Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Enjoy your day!

You can’t say anything anymore, apart from constantly saying ‘You can’t say anything anymore’. Makes you think.

absolutely amazing. just straight up lying and then immediately doubling down on the lying bc it Really Makes You Think

Doctor Trivago

LEAVE HER ALONE

Still thinking about the almond croissant I had eight hours ago.

Wee Jeffrey 'projectile vomiting over the Mayor of Beijing', eh?

The perks of the job

This is just to say I have taken Those plums Out of the icebox And climbed in Fuck yes

They’ve pulled it off.

SO WHAT - dashare.zone ADMIN

First time in days I'm in bed at a normal time and trying to get over to sleep before 4am. Of course, the storm rolls in imminently.

PMQs live from Pebble Mill

Hydration break. #SCOBRA #WorldCup

Now watching Our Friends of The Thrones

Had anyone done 'David Malbeckham' yet?

imagining a grizzled hardboiled detective saying this while gripping some guy's lapels at a shady bar

You can sing "Hoof the fucking thing" to the tune of Oxygene IV