buying my cat increasingly large scratcher lounges so that he thinks he's slowly but consistently shrinking somehow

Dreamed I got a chastising message at work that said, “You should know the names of all the Muppets,” and someone stuck up for me, saying, “I don’t think this one has a name,” and they attached a picture of like a white Gonzo with no eyes

Maya Angelou on the joys of being edited

for Revolutionary reasons, I now have no choice but to go to the pub at 1pm on a workday

what do we want? OBJECT PERMANENCE when do we want it? WHEN DO WE WANT WHAT

Yeah, This is the kind of shit I learned Graphic design for.

“the pharaoh’s tomb is cursed! the necromancer’s ring is cursed! the witch’s grimoire is cursed!” that’s how you sound. everything is fucking cursed with you bro. i don’t care. i’m taking this skull.

Read it while driving!!

formal proposal of a replacement for the vince mcmahon meme format

academy award contending tiktok

I need to be put into the machine that heals pokemon at the pokemon center

With more people getting the opportunity to play Metal Gear Solid 4, it means more people will understand one of my favorite posts online

New intro screen for Metal Gear Solid 4 in Master Collection vol 2

Listen to this. Not a penny more for this. Abolish and prosecute anyone who had anything to do with it.

What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it

Need to cheer myself up so here's the best Twitter post ever. It spawned one billion bad ripoffs but it's a beautiful magic trick. You don't just read it in his voice: he said it now. This quote is real.

production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA

I rarely do this, but I’m hoping I maybe have enough of a following here that someone can help: I need to get in contact with Donkey Kong. It’s urgent

one thing fallout gets wrong is that waffle house would have found a way

sorry, but the Founding Fathers' original intent for the 2nd Amendment was always *just* to do school shootings

"They say they're coming to save us from some evil? They're talking about our neighbors who take care of us ... Alex was murdered while he was helping. Mr Rogers said look for the helpers, & right now the helpers have a target on our forehead ... Mr Rogers would be here right now too, so I'm here."

I just thought everyone should see this

"This isn't you!" I weep to my boyfriend as he squats in his 'I Shit On Carpets' T-Shirt & shits on my carpet.

never forget the princess diana ps4 theme

there should be a non-alcoholic beer that still gets you drunk. and it's healthy for you. and it's free. and everything will be okay. tell me everything will be okay. tell me they'll make a non-alcoholic beer that still gets you drunk

[somberly] You cannot serve both god and money [upbeat music hits] Until now. Introducing god as a service

Look, I'm sure that Nolan's adaptation of "The Odyssey" will be fun, but I highly doubt it will be as good as the original.

LP, LP, ➜, LK, HP. I went back redid my Homer Akuma. This time with synched mouth and tweaks.

AAA video game character going to the toilet: "I'll take these stairs." "Ah, there it is, the bathroom." "Better open the door." "The door's open, nice." "Gonna pull my trousers down now." "Sitting down." "Okay, here we go." "I needed that." "Okay, time to fl

Samus

Y'all remember how fucking cool it was when Robot Unicorn Attack came out?

This Christmas, tell her the three little words all women want to hear.

a cheez-it the size of first base

I love to buy fresh sprinkle cheese instead of the stuff with preservatives because I love watching cheese go bad before I can eat it

Happy Thanksgiving from Mr Worldwide

The truth 🐊

i love false hope i love when people give you a big neatly wrapped gift that says "hope" and you hold on to it for like 2 years before finally opening it and it's a fucking pile of dogshit fuck everything man

Right now on reddit there's a guy inventing a new kind of brick to build his home with and it's going about as well as you can imagine

I will die for you, A 4-Hour Long Video Essay on A Theme Park.

listen to me. listen to me right now. if you don't know what this tweet means, just close your device. don't look anything up. go for a walk. return in a week. if you don't listen to me, your life will be ruined and i can't be held accountable

let's kick this weekend off with the Game Boy Advance Need for Speed Underground version of Get Low

I don't care about that dumb bitch or any of the men she fucked or any of their shitty articles about her. put her on an ice floe and shove her out to sea forever