This Christmas, tell her the three little words all women want to hear.

a cheez-it the size of first base

I love to buy fresh sprinkle cheese instead of the stuff with preservatives because I love watching cheese go bad before I can eat it

Happy Thanksgiving from Mr Worldwide

The truth 🐊

i love false hope i love when people give you a big neatly wrapped gift that says "hope" and you hold on to it for like 2 years before finally opening it and it's a fucking pile of dogshit fuck everything man

Right now on reddit there's a guy inventing a new kind of brick to build his home with and it's going about as well as you can imagine

I will die for you, A 4-Hour Long Video Essay on A Theme Park.

listen to me. listen to me right now. if you don't know what this tweet means, just close your device. don't look anything up. go for a walk. return in a week. if you don't listen to me, your life will be ruined and i can't be held accountable

let's kick this weekend off with the Game Boy Advance Need for Speed Underground version of Get Low

I don't care about that dumb bitch or any of the men she fucked or any of their shitty articles about her. put her on an ice floe and shove her out to sea forever

"Why does Sonic need a car?" motherfucker why do YOU? You can run everywhere too if you want to but here you are. Maybe address north american urban design so we can get some 15 minute cities, and quality public transit options.

evergreen #comic

Mood

#3157 A helpful tutorial

As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history. Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX

It's wild to think that yesterday morning they just flat out said "Uh, uuuuh, the big job machine broke and now we can't tell you what the job numbers were so don't ask," and that's like the 12th craziest thing to happen yesterday.

In Super Mario Galaxy, the stars on the letters of the logo spell "u r mr gay", while for the movie it says "he mr gay". This is because you are watching Mario, not playing him.

i think if the democrats had dug in their heels and said "this is the epstein shutdown. trump is starving the country because he doesn't want the epstein files to come out" they probably could have ended him. so it was very kind of them to not do that

sometimes i feel like the republican party is a big tornado that is coming to kill me. and the democratic party is the rickety shed that i'm hiding in. and i say "we should really fix this shed, because it's not doing much." and people say "what? why aren't you criticizing the tornado instead?!"

New York millionaires: threatening to flee the city since 2009

◉‿◉

From the top rope

good morning specifically to the FBI agent who introduced Mamdani’s dad to Marx

When you recount this election day:

Oh, Dick Cheney died? Well-- *sees Bluesky mod around corner* What's really important is championing the open protocol.

The failure of the “blue no matter who” crowd to rally behind Mamdani really just lays the reality of that position bare, doesn’t it?

Her: let’s role play Me: ok I’ll be elmo and you’ll be- Her: elmo? Me: oh fuck yes two elmos

After the AI bubble I hope the next bubble is Laser Tag. Laser tag arenas on every street corner. Blacklight lit battlefields propping up every sector of the economy. A one story building by the side of the highway called “Blast Zone: Pizza & Arcade” valued at $2.7 trillion

“Mmmmm I hate to say it Homie but we may have to team up if we have any hope of defeating Krusty”

BRO WHAT

Happy Halloween! 🐈‍⬛🧡 [ #cuteart #halloween ]

I’m here to murder you. Bazinga!

I entirely forgot that I made this anti-ASMR video (Sound warning headphones users)

Python was awarded a funding grant, funding grant asked Python foundation to remove all diversity and inclusion initiatives they have. Python foundation said no and rejected the grant. If you use Python, send a few dollars to the charity to keep it going. I’m pushing a dono on behalf of ScamGuard.

The PS2 truly is the best console ever because it is constantly becoming more powerful. Each time we say something "looks like a PS2 game" we're talking about a game of a higher fidelity than the last. What the PS2 is capable of in 2025 is so far beyond what it was capable of in 2003. That's amazing

you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am

My bam's been boozled! My awe has been struck!

80 in October in Massachusetts

Jane Goodall died today. The zoologist, ethnologist, and Shaolin master was defeated in a savage lightning storm upon the mountaintop by her former apprentice, a sinister chimp who has left to study at the Wu-Tang monastery. And now, it is left to me to avenge her. I will kill the evil Wu-Tang ape!

nostalgia is a prison. 'IP' is where creativity goes to die. there are infinite new games in the ether waiting to be discovered. bury your dead and fix your hearts