In light of Trump's bombing of Venezuela: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wha...

I just can't get over this. THIS anime body pillow-assaulting pillock is trying to mock someone's appearance? I absolutely forbid it.

What I'm about to say is a bit toxic and I apologize in advance for any potential friendly fire but... No. Absolutely not. You do NOT get to have resting School Shooter face and look like you Naruto run at incel conventions AND criticize other people's looks. Goddamn dorks. GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY.

What I'm about to say is a bit toxic and I apologize in advance for any potential friendly fire but... No. Absolutely not. You do NOT get to have resting School Shooter face and look like you Naruto run at incel conventions AND criticize other people's looks. Goddamn dorks. GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY.

goofus you idiot, you fuckin piece of shit

Meanwhile at the Erectile Dysfunction factory: Boss: Hey there, boys. Working hard? Employees: Yes sir! Boss: You're fired!

Just incredible.

Human-Mr-Krabs-looking idiot.

I know this is literally like... the 1047th worst thing he did, but Trump actually selected "special ambassadors" to HOLLYWOOD to help revitalize the US film industry. His picks were: Jon Voight, Mel Gibson, and Sylvester Stallone.

Human-Mr-Krabs-looking idiot.

The Expanse continues to make the world a better place. If Bezos would just let them film the rest of the books, I'd *personally* advocate for him to be excused from the public rotten-fruit pelting before the Big Cigarette Cutter moment. That's how much I love those books.

Meanwhile at the Erectile Dysfunction factory: Boss: Hey there, boys. Working hard? Employees: Yes sir! Boss: You're fired!

I know this is literally like... the 1047th worst thing he did, but Trump actually selected "special ambassadors" to HOLLYWOOD to help revitalize the US film industry. His picks were: Jon Voight, Mel Gibson, and Sylvester Stallone.

Free Restaurant Meal Hack! Guaranteed to Maybe Work! In a restaurant, after you get the bill, ask what is it for. They'll probably say "the food." Then you insist that the food you ate? You brought that from home. Keep arguing and they'll eventually get tired and let you go w/o paying, possibly!

Comic-accurate Batcave.

Really, ALL plants should have one spicy folk name to weed out (pardon the pun) the cowards and the nerds out there, like: Cowards: "Dandelion." Heroes: "Sun Sphincter."

I was eating a fuck-off big sandwich in the shower and the cops burst in, slammed me to the floor, and pointed guns at me because I didn't have a stupid gold chain on. Apparently you can't eat fuck-off big shower sandwiches w/o a stupid gold chain. Illegal in 219 countries. Punishable by death in 4.

Really, ALL plants should have one spicy folk name to weed out (pardon the pun) the cowards and the nerds out there, like: Cowards: "Dandelion." Heroes: "Sun Sphincter."

Heeeeeell yeeeeeeeeeeah.

Comic-accurate Batcave.

I was eating a fuck-off big sandwich in the shower and the cops burst in, slammed me to the floor, and pointed guns at me because I didn't have a stupid gold chain on. Apparently you can't eat fuck-off big shower sandwiches w/o a stupid gold chain. Illegal in 219 countries. Punishable by death in 4.

Robert Patrick isn't the kind of actor who makes me go: "Oh, he's in [movie]/[show]? Well now I HAVE TO watch it!" But if I'm watching something I already enjoy and suddenly there's Patrick (Reacher, Tulsa King etc.) then I always get happy because I know I'm going to get a delightful villain.

I fucking blame Cinema Sins for this.

"Regular Show" returns with new episodes this year. After nine years of waiting... Fuck it, we setting up expectations HIGH!

- Welcome to Fairybucks, can I please have your name? - Shouldn't you take my order first? - We'll get to that but, first, can I please have your name?

Can't believe that "Stranger Things" was the name of their sled.

Free Restaurant Meal Hack! Guaranteed to Maybe Work! In a restaurant, after you get the bill, ask what is it for. They'll probably say "the food." Then you insist that the food you ate? You brought that from home. Keep arguing and they'll eventually get tired and let you go w/o paying, possibly!

Can't believe that "Stranger Things" was the name of their sled.

- Welcome to Fairybucks, can I please have your name? - Shouldn't you take my order first? - We'll get to that but, first, can I please have your name?

"Regular Show" returns with new episodes this year. After nine years of waiting... Fuck it, we setting up expectations HIGH!

Fun history fact: Einstein wasn't invited to the Manhattan Project because he'd just seen "Crocodile Dundee" and couldn't stop talking with an Australian accent and it annoyed the shit out of everyone.

FADE IN: INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY EMPLOYEE Hello, sir, are you being served? CEZARY glances at the CREW OF BREAKDANCERS doing sick-ass moves in his direction. CEZARY Yeah... EMPLOYEE Excellent, please let me know if your bitch-ass needs anything else. FADE OUT

I fucking blame Cinema Sins for this.

FADE IN: INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY EMPLOYEE Hello, sir, are you being served? CEZARY glances at the CREW OF BREAKDANCERS doing sick-ass moves in his direction. CEZARY Yeah... EMPLOYEE Excellent, please let me know if your bitch-ass needs anything else. FADE OUT

So that's already at least 1 house or apartment that became vacant in NY. Mamdani is making the city more livable from Day 1. Sometimes politicians do keep their promises!

Robert Patrick isn't the kind of actor who makes me go: "Oh, he's in [movie]/[show]? Well now I HAVE TO watch it!" But if I'm watching something I already enjoy and suddenly there's Patrick (Reacher, Tulsa King etc.) then I always get happy because I know I'm going to get a delightful villain.

Hi, I'm a pickup truck THAT BLEW PAST A RED LIGHT AND DESTROYED MY BRAND NEW LAPTOP.

The friends everyone made along the way.

Is Reacher from the TV series "Reacher" autistic? Let's look at the clues: Yes.

Personally, I'd swear on Terry Pratchett's "Small Gods," my prized dictionary of 4,500 Japanese onomatopoeia, the "Shincho Koki" (The Chronicle of Lord Nobunaga), and a commissioned oil painting of Geert Wilders making out with a turnip.

RIP Mr. Whitlock, who apparently namesearched the name of his character on The Wire and liked this tweet within minutes of me posting it back in the day. King.

Personally, I'd swear on Terry Pratchett's "Small Gods," my prized dictionary of 4,500 Japanese onomatopoeia, the "Shincho Koki" (The Chronicle of Lord Nobunaga), and a commissioned oil painting of Geert Wilders making out with a turnip.

Ah, New Year’s Day! That can only mean one thing. YES, THAT’S RIGHT! The 148th anniversary of New York Herald proprietor James Gordon Bennett Jr being banished from polite society for pissing in his fiancée’s fireplace, thus giving the world the phrase ‘Gordon Bennett!’ 🧵

Therapy: - Expensive - Some therapists are plain shit - Limited availability Yelling at the Moon: - Free - Proven stress-reliever - Not against the law if you go deep enough into the woods - Ignore that howl. It's NOT a werewolf - No, you're not being stalked! Don't be paranoid! - Don't turn around

2025 waited until we were distracted by NYE prep and took Isiah Whitlock Jr. from us. Fuck 2025, and RIP to a great actor. You can all now say the line.

2025 waited until we were distracted by NYE prep and took Isiah Whitlock Jr. from us. Fuck 2025, and RIP to a great actor. You can all now say the line.

Zohran Mamdani has just been sworn in as the new President of the United States. Wishing him many successes.

Fun history fact: Einstein wasn't invited to the Manhattan Project because he'd just seen "Crocodile Dundee" and couldn't stop talking with an Australian accent and it annoyed the shit out of everyone.

"All cats are Alan Rickman." - Dylan Moran

"All cats are Alan Rickman." - Dylan Moran