π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
@canadianbeave13.bsky.social
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π¨π¦ A beaver with a cobra chicken spirit. Elbows up, gloves off. π¨π¦
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Leggy Pain π¨π¦π΅πΈπΊπ¦
9 months ago
Always take a full course of antibiotics after hearing a Kid Rock song, even if you're asymptomatic
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
AnnaAnkaAnia
9 months ago
I googled my symptoms and it appears I am just old.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Leggy Pain π¨π¦π΅πΈπΊπ¦
10 months ago
I'm not sure it would help this mess we're all in but we should at least TRY offering up Wayne Gretzky as a blood sacrifice. There's literally no downside
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
dr Quinn, medicine weirdo
9 months ago
the list of people you're willing to tolerate decreases greatly after 40
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Salty MacTavish
9 months ago
loading . . .
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Wilbur72
9 months ago
Quite frankly I donβt care if you laugh with me or at me, as long as I get you to laugh.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
CoolHTownGirl π€
9 months ago
I just need to be a chef at the WH for one day. Just one fucking day.
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Big shout out to the new physio student who walked up to one of my older coworkers today and asked if she was lost and needed help finding a nurse.
9 months ago
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Sooz
9 months ago
Remember when social media was just tit pics, fart jokes and silliness? I miss it. So much.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Nappy Dolemite
9 months ago
"easy, breezy, beautifu-" Hold up. You had me at, "easy."
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Jake_Vig
9 months ago
Every Canadian must report in every 30 days as sexy.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Theciscokidder
9 months ago
When my dog freaked the fuck out after someone knocked on the door, I really felt that.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Jenny and the Bets π
9 months ago
Sorry I canβt come Iβm eating cereal.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
The Real Kim Shady
9 months ago
get in loser weβre hitting rock bottom
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Miss Riss
9 months ago
If all this was a movie, we'd have all walked out by now.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Wilbur72
9 months ago
I think, therefore I am β¦an idiot
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
CoolHTownGirl π€
9 months ago
Everything changes when you realize the best version of yourself is a daily choice.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
CoolHTownGirl π€
9 months ago
I just blocked someone who said they don't like dogs. Ion need that kinda negative energy around me.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
SaltyGirl
9 months ago
Everything went downhill after Cotton Eye Joe was released. Coincidenceβ¦I think not.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Paul
10 months ago
Right now the American and Canadian people are like the neighbor kids who just want to keep playing together but can't because the one parent is an asshole who just wants to fight with the other parent.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Amish Super Model
9 months ago
βIβll just have the Cobb saladβ¦ With extra bacon. Oh, and extra ham. Ooh, and extra turkey. Oh, and could you put extra cheese on that? And maybe, skip the lettuce?β -me, dieting
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Alice the Astute
11 months ago
Every disaster movie starts with scientists being ignored. Good thing weβre not doing that.
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Today at work a dementia patient told me that I reminded her of her boyfriendβs wife.
9 months ago
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Daisy
10 months ago
I may be awkward, but not as awkward as the people running next to their dogs at the dog show.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Trey
9 months ago
I love how I can say, "I just saw one of those shitboxes driving on the road," and most people know what I'm talking about
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Tess Tickles
11 months ago
I put my hair up in a ponytail when cooking, so the food knows I'm into it.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
SAHAR (leftie)
9 months ago
THEM: you're being irrational ME: are you flirting with me π₯°
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Leggy Pain π¨π¦π΅πΈπΊπ¦
10 months ago
If you took a person in the '90s and showed them 1 hour of 2025's news their hair would turn entirely white and their eyeballs would bleed.
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Things I would rather do then become the 51st state: 1. Eat a bowl of banana strings with RFK approved dairy milk 2. Dive into a pool and slurp up all the bandaids like a delirious guppy 3. Only date men with coke nails 4. Live in a home that always smelled like unseasoned chicken
9 months ago
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Jake_Vig
9 months ago
GHOST: [tries to haunt me] ME: [shows ghost current headlines] GHOST: I can't compete with that. Good luck.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Wilbur72
9 months ago
Welcome to BlueSky Come for the jokes, leave for the political responses to the jokes.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
ππ¦ππππ πΎπ¦π£π
9 months ago
I used to grow alarmed seeing mounted police in DC but now I secretly hope we're being invaded by Canada.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Dumb Beezie
9 months ago
My horoscope said Iβm going to meet a new man today so I stayed home
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Nappy Dolemite
10 months ago
What isn't lava, at this point?!
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Can you bookmark ummmβ¦wtf do you call them here?? Bluesies?
9 months ago
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Sam G π¨π¦
9 months ago
Letβs play a game called is this the Dow Jones, Tesla stock, or Pierre Poilievreβs approval rating??
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
AnnaAnkaAnia
about 2 years ago
What doesn't kill you, make you darkly sarcastic.
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A few nights ago my vehicle was broken into. They left my wallet but took my unopened $20 bag of beef jerky. They definitely made the right call.
9 months ago
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
bacon popsicle π€
10 months ago
Alexa, if anyone asks you ainβt seen me, capeesh?
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Sooz
10 months ago
My dog and I started a girl gang tonight. It was mostly twirling and complimenting each other.
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π¨π¦ Canadian Beaver π¨π¦
Wilbur72
10 months ago
My blood is type Ohhh
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Do you remember the part in Wizard of Oz where they leave the scary forest behind and enter the beautiful Land of Oz? Thatβs pretty much how I feel leaving Twitter and coming here.
9 months ago
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