What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it

🎶I'll be eating you, when the bombs starts to fall. I'll be eating you, since I've turned cannibal. I'll be eating you, so there's nowt you can do.🎶

Taps the sign…

Announcement on train: we are delayed "because a lorry has hit the bridge at Needham Market" - a pause filled with the weariness of a thousand lifetimes - "again."

One's a bildungsroman, the other is Roman buildings.

I like how Sunderland have more than one player who sounds like a dog speaking. Robin Roefs obviously, but I’d also include Brian Brobbey.

Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick

“I’ve reviewed over 50 sticky toffee puddings” is an incredibly powerful way to begin a video

Countless unseen hands Gently thrum

I know there are a lot of weird flavour crossovers out there at the moment, but the Elton John flavoured marmite is the weirdest.

Will you look at that!

My son was about four during the Sochi Winter Olympics and I remember making little snowboards for his postman pat figures and racing them down A4 paper slopes with him

Wednesday.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM CRAIG! Eleanor & Pals, tonight at 11.15pm and then available on BBC Sounds www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvaH...

We should never have devolved intergalactic policing to local government.

I said the word chupacabracadabra out loud and now I've got a big pet insurance problem

Me and Louie found a one-eyed jellyfish in an orange.

Create Your Own Luck*

Remembering Burt Reynolds on his birthday

Ladybird home and garden. The front room (1966) Artist: Martin Aitchison

I am mildly annoyed that snowball fighting isn't in the Winter Olympics.

That moment when you see a 'suggested post' and think to yourself "I really fancy some lemon meringue pie now".

A bus comes up to a bus-stop outside Milton Keynes Station at a very jaunty angle. This bus says, yeah I’m here, but I had a wild time dancing last night, and my mind’s still with that guy in the sequinned jumpsuit.

It’s Leslie Nielsen’s birthday & this is still the greatest gag in the history of comedy.

As someone said, the biggest issue with AI in the workplace is not that it increases your speed. It's that it triples the output of the biggest idiot you work with.

I approve of this, but will advise you to tread carefully. This is akin to saying "We're trying to cut down on alcohol, so we're trying Cocaine Thursdays"

Leia: Mandelore Obi-Wan: Ferrix Chewie: RAUGHAGH C3PO: Oh, a very good move if I may say Leia: Did he play Kashyyyk again? Han: He always plays Kashyyyk. I'll go Kamino Luke: Bespin Leia: Crait Obi-Wan: Mornington Coruscant! Chewie: RAARUGARGH! C3P0: Oh dear, I did warn you about winning

Peter Bradshaw finishes his two-star review of Wuthering Heights. He pauses. "Dare I", he thinks to himself, before continuing. And lo, the tagline describing the film as 'too hot, too greedy' enters the pantheon of film criticism.

I tried to take a photo of a grasshopper on my windshield, but now it looks like a gigantic bug destroying the town.

I’m at the point in the year where I keep thinking it’s 2027, because my brain has now updated ‘currentYear’ to 2026, but hasn’t yet stopped running the January mental override of ‘currentYear += 1’

Can’t believe I’ve made it this far into the Winter Olympics without reposting the official theme tune. youtu.be/hCIWyKey0BI?...

Twenty Bensons and a tub of Gweek yoghurt please.

Remember, Gift Shop Mister Bean can’t hurt you. Gift Shop Mister Bean:

Gypsy Tart. #ManOfKent (Note: Make sure you whisk until all sugar is dissolved! May take over 15 mins. Mixture should be smooth, not ‘gritty’ at all.) www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/recip...

Really happy to have managed to squeeze this feature into Hour by Hour! You can take a photo of a physical time plan - e.g. a conference schedule (or in this case animal related activities at our local farm park!) and it'll import it seamlessly into the app so you can follow along.

I love the fact that he looks like peak-era Russ Abbot playing Onslow from Keeping Up Appearances. With a flame-thrower.

Stevie Wonder are you reading this? Well obvs you’re not, but can someone get this to him? Replace his list of superstitions with a list of Shropshire market towns?

Haha. 100% accurate.

Met a fellow dog walker this morning who I often say hello to as we pass. This time my brain couldn’t think what to say, so I just announced how many poos my dog had done so far, and then carried on walking.

Just watching the Freeski Slopestyle in the Winter Olympics, and I'm fairly sure the commentators are just making stuff up now. "That is the best gusset transition from quizzical Portillo to inverted Barrymore I've seen since Jurgen Cheek melted a 1440 degree sarcastic cockfart in Lima in 1981".

I saw a sign at the opticians. ‘Children should not be left without supervision’ I thought if they had that they wouldn’t be in the opticians.

It's all too easy to slag off someone as awful as Kid Rock, so you've really got no reason not to.

In case you want a prestigious certificate on your wall theagat.co

Look for a Claire's Accessories A simple Claire's Accessories

Post a banger that isn’t in English.

btw if you too are learning piano, can I remind inkle fans that this exists:

oh, and to your second point (which I missed, thinking about journeys) - yes: it's useful that, say, buses exist, but for a *completely separate, and only superficially related purpose*