Orcas are among the most intelligent animals on Earth, featuring massive, complex brains with high emotional reasoning. You cannot fool them easily. Original post

Rotisserie chicken was invented by someone who watches how I sleep.

😂🤪

woaw

INTERVEIWER: how’s your attention to detail? ME: I think pretty good INTERVEIWR: really? ME: realy

You only get one chance to hug a polar bear.

every dog in the park that doesn’t run up to me to say hello is a terrorist

I would describe my fashion sense as "covered in cat hair".

In the end we were just his latest casino and whatnot.

This is the coolest ceasefire ever, you can just bomb shit every other day, call it defensive, and claim the ceasefire is still intact.

As part of my never ending quest to get a demo of my game out, I've been working on another free roaming area for Bat Galaxy.

Does E. Jean Carroll need any assistance in filing her slam-dunk claim against her rapist's $1.8 billion slush fund for being a victim of the weaponization of the judiciary? I'd be glad to help!

The two best days in a boat owner's life are the day they buy the boat and the day they sail past an isolated island inhabited by bird-like women with hauntingly enchanted voices.

Why I can’t play my switch with my birds. #WIP #Birds #switch #nintendo

Paying to watch Tv then watching adverts is the biggest fuck you ever.

Toddlers are just like drunk people except they’re easier to get out of the car after they pass out on the way home

It should be illegal to have an uneven number of slices in a loaf of bread.

imagine making a multiplayer experience this good, imagine even thinking of it. FUCK.

I’ve reached the part where you swap the discs

Imagine missing your own son’s wedding so you could go surrender to Iran

INVENTOR: promise you won't change anything if I let you use the time machine ME: I promise [later, watching baseball] ANNOUNCER: please rise for the singing of our national anthem SINGER: *clears throat* stop, collaborate and listen

Will someone please explain to our cat that nobody wants to play with her at 3 in the morning?

Here are some nice mushrooms

Millennials: we have got to start talking up the Financial Crisis. The Greatest Generation dined out on the Great Depression for 80 years. If we’re not all out there talking about how we had to have five roommates and sell our plasma to buy ringtones I’m worried we’ll be missing our shot

ME: Why did they call it the endocrine system and not the secrete service SURGEON: How are you still even awake?

getting groceries delivered isn’t enough i want them to come in and put them away then brush my hair

Guys it’s hitting me…Colbert was my grown-up Mister Rogers.

Just got the SNES controller. Love these replica accessories Nintendo’s been making for the Switch.

I’m off and running with the SNES. 31 games to start, with a few key titles in there like Super Castlevania IV, Turtles IV, Donkey Kong Country, Final Fantasy II, Star Fox, and more. Tomorrow will be for setting the SNES (Jr.) up and for some gameplay.

These people make me laugh daily and all deserve a follow go.bsky.app/8pZS7se

Can't thank Stephen Colbert enough for the decades of laughs he's given us. He's been positively therapeutic in these troubled times & I can't wait to see what he does next! 👀 (plus, he let me sit behind his desk) 🙏

I can’t believe tonight is the final episode of Colbert.

CBS thinks they canceled Stephen Colbert. CBS actually canceled themselves.

I am not a night person or a morning person but a secret third thing (always tired).

Still love a physical game.

Six Flags: *opens first theme park Five Flags: "We should have seen this coming"

2000's game consoles 🕹🎮

I beat Zelda II on stream using original hardware on Sunday! It was such a great feeling because it’s a tough game! Zelda II was one of my first games as a kid, but I didn’t beat it until a couple years ago on a Switch. This was my first time beating it on my childhood cartridge! 💖

insane diss i just came up with for if i ever meet bill hader: well well well. why if it isn’t the clown from IT, bill hader

placeholder for post I just forgot

Now that I've played a ton of 3DS games, on 3DS consoles, I can't help but feel like we've lost something special. Games dedicated to handheld play, meant to be fun for a few minutes to hours are just incredible - and not made anymore We need smaller handhelds and these experiences back

I'm starting to think that becoming the president is a pretty lucrative career.

FRIENDS LOOK WHAT I FOUND AT THE LOCAL FLEA MARKET TODAY

Nintendo GameCube 💜

it's almost pride month

Throwback to one of our classic Nintendo 64 print ads. Nearly 30 years old and still being played by millions! You can enjoy some of the highlights of the console's library when you sign up for #NintendoSwitchOnline + Expansion Pack.

ME: I’m breaking up with you STAR WARS: please don’t, I can change ME: it’s not Grogu, it’s Grogme

goddammit. someone stole my wallet and bought a racing sim wheel. they shipped it directly to my fucking house. humiliating. well, I can’t return it,

remember when all we were afraid of was Columbia House finding our new address?

I fucking knew he wasn’t real