Hand Warmer
@handwharmer.bsky.social
📤 29288
📥 35991
📝 66
Eat. Sleep. Game. Repeat.
pinned post!
These people make me laugh daily and all deserve a follow
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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Hand Warmer
These people make me laugh daily and all deserve a follow
go.bsky.app/8pZS7se
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
136
1181
435
reposted by
Hand Warmer
pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky”
17 days ago
Big personal news! I just sold an F-35 fighter jet to Saudi Arabia
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky”
16 days ago
BREAKING: Bill to release the Moleman Files passes the House 427 - 1. Subterraneous Q. Burrow (R - The Underkingdom) was the only no vote
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ceej
16 days ago
when I was a kid my dad could have kicked my ass because he was an adult. now I could kick my dad’s ass because he’s old. but there was one day between then and now when we were exactly evenly matched. the father/son convergence
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
16 days ago
ask your doctor if lying down in the forest to be consumed by the earth is right for you
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ceej
16 days ago
hot dogs could be a thanksgiving side
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Supper Mario Broth
3 months ago
In Super Mario Odyssey, kicking things is Mario's highest priority, overriding all other actions. If a kickable object, such as a football, is thrown at Mario while he is asleep, he will momentarily wake up just to kick it before instantly going back to sleep.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
4 months ago
[seeing that my wife has started buying cauliflower again] looks like it's time for another diss track
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WldAnmls
5 months ago
I said no needles. I meant no needles.
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mean things I say to myself
5 months ago
Wild that detectives and trained dogs can find human remains in the wilderness based on scant clues but my husband and kids can't find the ketchup in the fridge in the same spot it always is
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I’m not running late. I’m arriving in dramatic fashion.
5 months ago
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ceej
5 months ago
the only “grey lady” I respect is the spirit who sobs in the corner of my bedroom from 2-3am each night
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alexis simpson
5 months ago
(watching any Jurassic Park movie) when does the whistle blow so they can slide down the brontosaurus neck
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[Sic] Burns
5 months ago
To my moots who watch “The Bear,” I’d sit under the table with all of you
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The Simpsons
5 months ago
You're out there somewhere, Beer Barron, and I'll find you.
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I put “flexible” on my resume because I cry in different locations.
5 months ago
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Ombudsman of the Overtired
5 months ago
UNACCEPTABLE!
#AdventureTime
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Supper Mario Broth
6 months ago
Normally, NPCs in Mario games are bothered very little by Mario attacking them, to make the interaction seem harmless. However, in Bowser's Fury, the way the mother cats' animations work result in them crying specifically as a result of being attacked, making Mario appear cruel.
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ceej
5 months ago
whoa, ouroboros, you must be hungry
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
5 months ago
conversely butter can’t believe it’s you
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If overthinking burned calories, I’d be translucent.
6 months ago
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ceej
6 months ago
this is a sith lightsaber, from the war. I keep it on a shelf right next to my stormtrooper armor and imperial officer’s uniform. I’ve even got a verified chunk of the death star from yavin. I’m just a collector. I just think the history is interesting. no, I don’t have any rebel stuff
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fredesque
6 months ago
me: everything bagel plz him: even war? me: onion bagel plz
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Pru
6 months ago
This is discrimination against impatient people
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I’m not avoiding my problems. I’m giving them space to grow into bigger, more impressive problems.
6 months ago
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Jon Bois
6 months ago
my eight-month-old son won't drive a car. i set him in the driver's seat, buckle him in, even put the key in the ignition for him, and he just sits there and smiles at me. i'm at my wit's end
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James Hughes
6 months ago
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Anna Hughes 🍁
6 months ago
this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake
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Theciscokidder
6 months ago
Thought my cat was fighting the sliding glass door but it was a fearless baby bun bun she wanted to hug probably.
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JingleJay🎄❄️🎁 ✨️Visions of Mana✨️
6 months ago
State of Wait.
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Alariko
6 months ago
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Kalvin the Reindeer
6 months ago
It’s like no one at this funeral appreciates ventriloquism.
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I'm doing my best, which unfortunately varies wildly by the hour.
6 months ago
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inkedupandsonic
6 months ago
tai chi is short for taiwanese chicken
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Frovo
6 months ago
just met a bald guy named harry. everything is a lie
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john granule
6 months ago
don’t mind if i do
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Marl
6 months ago
I'm nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.
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RiotGrlErin
6 months ago
put some extra characters in movies: thread
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ceej
6 months ago
the hard truth is, millions of young men in america are addicted to gambling on their phones. if we want to recapture their demographic we must pass legislation that makes it illegal for them to lose at gambling
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Kalvin the Reindeer
6 months ago
Is Bluesky dying? Tune in tonight where I will post about farts and then manually count the likes.
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sweetie π
6 months ago
looking for a new dr who’ll prescribe me egg mcmuffins
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
6 months ago
once again I am asking you for a like to feed my dopamine addiction (non tax deductible)
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I’m not a morning person or a night owl. I’m some kind of permanently confused pigeon.
6 months ago
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Hand Warmer
WldAnmls
6 months ago
Three days into an all-inclusive vacation.
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ceej
6 months ago
(receiving new information) sorry, but if any of that were true I would have heard of it
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Kalvin the Reindeer
6 months ago
[first date] HER: what's your favorite food? ME: spareribs, bacon, really any type of pork HER: oh me too ME: yeah you could say I'm polyhamorous HER: *signals for the bill*
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Damnit Janet
6 months ago
Old man yells at cloud
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Theciscokidder
6 months ago
I take comfort in the fact that there's someone out there making worse decisions than me.
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
6 months ago
might fuck around and divide by zero just to see if the universe explodes
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