Trick question, they're all problematic since Mario is Italian. You all failed this test, see us after class.

Every Mario game can be put in to two categories. "The Developer's Barely Disguised Fetish" and "Problematic Media". Discuss.

Haha, oh sorry, the post below is a deep cut #NintendoReference. Only something niche gamers would get. A real Geno cameo.

"And he had hyper realistic eye balls!" Son, that's what we in the business call using eye drops. Ol' crusty eyed Sony would never do that with their characters, but we at Nintendo know what the fans crave.

New Mario Party minigame currently in testing where you have to stare directly into your opponents soul and attempt to understand them on a deeper, primal level. You get 5 coins if you succeed.

Bulbasaur tastes like mulch. Pikachu tastes like mulch. Arceus tastes like mulch. They all taste like mulch. Stop asking about the edibility and taste of Pokemon.

We need to up our profits so we're putting out Joy-Cons with a coin slot. 25¢ for 15 minutes of HD Rumble. We win.

Quan-Chi is coming to Mario Tennis: Fever. We don't know how he got in or who let him in, but he arrives May 25th.

Zelda has gotten too complicated, we need to go back to when it made sense. We're making Link just a kid who saves a Princess, Ganon is back to his magic pig ways, Hyrule is big and open, the accident wasn't your fault, please wake up your dad and I miss you, and Epona will be there.

Big things happening, only on #NintendoToday.

Miyamoto once came into the office with a fake mustache claiming to be "Wiyamoto". He cried until we played along.

We could never quite figure out how to program love into our games. Now fear, anger, and unending horniness? Those are very easy to program.

One of the interns kept annoying everyone by making comments about how the offices feel very "retro", and making "It's dangerous to go alone" jokes. We gave the go ahead for the child play testers to rip him to shreds.

We will not confirm or deny the existence of a cut animation in Super Mario Galaxy of Rosalina spitting on the camera in a POV looking up view.

Kirby is real, we saw him in Central Park. The people were tossing stale bread and red solo cups at him and he was clapping like a seal. Nature is disgusting.

*puts you into the Mini Mario capsule*

"I hope we get a new 3D Mario soon." The Monkey's Paw's finger curls, as development on Hotel Mario 3D finalizes.

The best part about the internet is you can pair certain images with anything you want as long as it's in quotes and everyone will love it. "Bowser Fart GIF"

Boggle coming to the Nintendo eShop in 3 years.

An intern approaches the throne room of He Who Decides NSO Games. "My lord, the players, they beg for Nintendo DS to be added to NSO, and they threaten to-" HWDNG interrupts by raising a hand, and says "Give them Bible Adventures on NES." The intern's eyes well up with tears and thanks HWDNG.

How do we get in touch with Pete the Cat, he seems to have many good social media takes.

We've not seen any spoilers Sakurai just wanted Jax.

Don't worry about the spoilers everyone, Sakurai informed us he plans to bring Jax back in The Subspace Emissary 2.

We're taking a page from Google's book in terms of streamlining the search experience on our consoles. Now instead of being able to search for whatever game you want on the Nintendo eShop, we're just gonna have a sweaty guy who sits on the front page and vaguely recommend you games that he likes.

For every 1,000 copies under our projected sales that #YoshiAndTheMysteriousBook misses, we're putting a new hole in Yoshi.

We're okay now. We made this to express our feelings. Thank you for understanding.

Do not interact with us right now, we just found out some people unironically hate the Wii U. Sobbing shitting and crying.

We're feeding the Pikmin protein shakes so they can pose around like body builders.

We at Nintendo of America would like to apologize, as we have now been made aware of the history of the developers behind Big Boulder and their previous work, and will be pulling it from the Nintendo eShop immediately. We were unaware of it's usage in an assassination attempt on the roadrunner.

Catering to the feet people... It's genius. Someone call Jerry in marketing, we've got some ideas to throw around.

It's Time to Rock and Stone! Big Boulder comes to the Nintendo eShop for the Nintendo Switch and Nintendo Switch 2 Systems later today

...What do you mean people are already planning on using dick pics for Pictonico?

Sonic fans keep jumping our developers out in the parking lot, using their tiny elbows and large sticks to give them a good whooping, saying "Give us more Sonic". Our developers would respond but their mouths are filled with blood and Sonic fans' fists.

Sorry for the BlueSky outages, had to send the Toads into BlueSky's headquarters and they wanted to eat the infrastructure. Naturally, we let them, in the hopes that it would make them sick, but all it did was make BlueSky sick.

We at Nintendo of America are aware that due to the changes in pop culture, cultural sensitivity, and general taste, some of our character designs need to be updated. So we have made Bowser blue.

Quietly humming "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" while adding one extra inch of height to Samus's design. The perfect crime that benefits everybody.

1,000 years from now, the last Nintendo fan watches the final Nintendo Direct. A hologram of Miyamoto interrupts a sizzle reel of Undertale 5 inspired RPGs, to say that he brings one final announcement for the Nintendo Switch 27; a port of Super Mario Bros. A single tear rolls down the fan's face.

Getting head from Mario, call that Teaches Typing 2.

We're going to partner with Dr. Pepper. 23 flavors of Luigi. Keep an eye out for it.

Similar to SNL, this account has a rotating celebrity cast who will come on to make posts. Very few know this, but the Giant Fucking Skeleton announcement was actually written by Tom Hanks and based on a true story of his.

Look at Yoshi go! Study all kinds of creatures in #YoshiAndTheMysteriousBook, coming to Nintendo Switch 2 on May 21.

If you're moving from Twitter to here because of the new post limits, follow us for Nintendo Updates and malware. We mean just malware. We mean just Nintendo Updates. Freudian slip.

That feeling when you watch your competition continually make poor decisions that cost them money in the long run.

We're putting Waluigi into the torment nexus.

Shigeru Miyamoto has just confirmed there is exactly one pair more powerful than Mario & Luigi, and it's not who you think.

We are "considering" bringing back some of our forgotten franchises, such as F-Zero, Scrimblo Bimblo, and Mario.

Micheal Kelbaugh, current president and CEO of Retro Studios, the team behind Metroid Prime 4, had this to say about scary ghost.png. "Well we are somewhat saddened by the let down that was Metroid Prime 4, we want to assure players- aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH A GHOOOOOST! A GHOOOOOST! GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

Christopher Nolan's Kirby Mass Attack.

New Slogans Currently In Testing: "Nintendoes Just Alright With Itself." "If Mario Doesn't Pray, Why Should You?" "Get N To Bed And Sleep." "6% New." "Ignore The Smell!" "Better When Wet." "Better Buy 'em, or Else It's Bowser Time."