i farted thru my peenus

I don't understand why someone will use the save feature on a silly post like “I farted through my peenus,” like, are you going to come back to read the discourse on it? Want to remind yourself to research penile flatulence later when you get off work?

We used to be a country. a proper country.

Younger brother and I snuck out of bed at least once a week to watch Conan. I can't imagine li'l Frank doing that for any of the current guys. Maybe Meyers when Conner O'Malley is on.

Try this one

Sign o the times: anyone else’s neighborhood redolent of onions rn?

Do I know anyone going to the Sparks show in Portland on the 26th?

Excited to see literally every US institution collapse into brutal fiefdoms headed by sex pest warlords utterly incapable of abstract thought or empathy. Really makes you feel like slouching your slow thighs to Bethlehem

Ok, who’s making me a corndog bandoliers? I want crisscross condogs across my body

Y'all, please stop scrolling. Did you know about dog dancing? Now you do! The world needs more dog dancing 💃 ❤️ 😍 🐶 youtu.be/2-KKdxEdk3Y?...

My dad seeing a hot dog stand and/or birthday cake:

Art motivation 💪

☢️

hamburger aider and abettor

There have always been trans people. There will always be trans people. The only "trans agenda" is to live authentically. Removing trans rights, banning trans people from sports, taking away care for trans people puts you on the wrong side of history. Trans rights are human rights 🩵💗🤍

i, unfortunately, have no Disney services i can cancel with a sassy comment i will have to cancel Disney the old fashioned way: by selling illegal Blu Rays of Song of the South on eBay

Canceling Disney+ because they canceled Kimmel is well and good, but if you really want to make them pay attention, there is no better way than fucking Goofy's wife

There's a part of this video where I said "o nooooooo" out loud, see if you can guess what it is

Trump looks like Phil Hartman playing Trump! 😂

REAL LIFE is SO joke-dense and the tone is so perfectly “flat,” you can miss most of it. The move in the intro where it’s just a long digression on the house Brooks bought for the production and how he decorated the rooms.

holy shit

Part of my descent into new wave madness was getting way too into The Facts of Life in middle school. Nonjock tomboy representation in the late 90s was nearly nonexistent but FoL had Nancy McKeon (and to a much lesser extent baby Pamela Adlon).

Thing from a recent Patreon Achewood that I'm gonna start saying

If I saw Goofy in the street I would hit him with my car

THEY DEFORMED ME, COOP. REDUCED ME DOWN TO ONLY MY MOST RECOGNIZABLE CHARACTERISTICS. I’M A CUTESY SHELL OF MY FORMER SELF. THE BOYS AT QUANTICO ARE CALLING ME A “CHEE-BEE.” I’M SEVEN CENTIMETERS TALL, COOP. 150 GRAMS OF VINYL PLASTIC.

The best web pages are always

give me back forums, you fucking monsters!

The internet should be contained to the worst room ya got

Here comes a special Bert

Any CMS or message board or blogging platform or social media site or whatever that doesn’t let you do an HTML once in a while is absolute bullshit. I had to fix an issue w/my mom’s walking club’s website and I spent so much time trying to find the nonexistent HTML layer

just saw a cottage cheese commercial that shows two teens eating cottage cheese while gaming. it’s possible that i’m out of touch with today’s youth but i don’t know about that one

There’s a guy in my town driving around with a HARD R Oregon vanity license plate. Somehow I don’t think that’d fly with the California DMV. Or maybe it would, given that this person can’t figure out F is for Feptember

That's how I wanna go

Anyone else feel like post-2020 every social decision they make is the incorrect one and it the problem keeps getting worse and worse and worse and you’re definitely gonna die broke and alone

There should be websites that are just stuff like old covers with Superman being a dick

Yuri Kuklachyov, Soviet clown and cat trainer, with one of his cats.

I bet there’s a whole body beneath the ground

That used to be a person’s parking spot, now it’s the people’s.

If the Grinch was red... well I don't really like to think about that

magazine screenshot (1984) archive.org/details/tech...

oh damn theyre making a gritty Master of Disguise reboot and mark Zuckerberg is trying out for the role of the goth turtle guy

Resharing with ALT text because YEP.

1920s yearbooks were always called some shit like The Laugher’s Chalice

Happy Birthday, Paul Williams. youtu.be/y5jQYOcpVks?...

Charlie Kirk was a vicious, racist trust fund baby who made the world a worse place. I am the CEO of Antifa Inc. and I approve of this message.