Spray on condoms

Kershaw couldn’t retire before one final postseason blowup

One last postseason diaper blowout for Clayton Kershaw. A beautiful sendoff for a legend.

We are changing our antifa secret handshake to slap-slap-fistbump-fistbump. Then you snap your fingers once, eat everyone's pets, and make everyone within 50' instantly become trans. Pass it along.

Jonathan Choe to Trump: "Another group right now that is behind antifa and working with antifa very closely based on the research that we have right now that we're gonna give to you and your team are the Democratic Socialists of America."

at this rate, he'll be 8 feet tall by 2039

i knew it. i've been getting weird urges lately from playing mario kart

please pray to god that my diarrhea goes away

a photo of cal wearing gym shorts from this angle should come with an explicit content warning bsky.app/profile/13th...

Lmao

same company btw

they're talking about my cousin chaz

Dolly rules and non parents probably won't know this, but she has a book club for little kids and she will just send them books for free. my kids have loved them. it's a good excuse to stop doing something and just hang out and read a book with them.

Dudes fucking rock!

Jon's Most Dramatic Car Exits

Time to stock up if you're in Ohio

Area Family Putting A Little Money Away To One Day Blow On Single Health Scare https://theonion.com/area-family-putting-a-little-money-away-to-one-day-blow-1819575678/

My prediction is that this dumbass becomes the biggest supporter of Israel and Crypto in America once she figures out that no one is gonna give her any money after how bad she fucked up last time

The fact that we all know exactly what that means tells you a lot about how wild those screens were

they made a movie about your weird uncle

I love the fact that football is determined to give us so much comedy this year

so good to have him back

imagine how fucked up it would be if people kept sending you ai videos of your dead relatives

Cooper Flagg takes it coast-to-coast and dumps it off to Dwight Powell who lays it in Powell then receives a powerful knee to a very sensitive area. With replays

my reaction when they got him at 3rd

LMAO LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH

Saluting our real patriots

To my Ohio friends: please be on the lookout for pumpkin thieves or anyone with hundreds of spare pumpkins

While the government is shut down it's completely legal to grab a federal agent's gun. Any agency you want, and if you manage to get it away from them they have to let you have it for free

IGN gave having sex with me a 9/10

Declared a thumb war on my buddy a few days ago and didn't hear back. Assumed he was busy. Woke up this morning with bandages where my thumbs should be

Explaining to Nicole Kidman that I cant "just pause it" to have sex again; it's an online game.

i think we are going to find out at some point these guys invented cocaine 2 and have been on it all along

Jordan Peterson puts his benzos inside chunks of raw meat like how you feed pills to dogs

boom headshot

Steph's pregame routine never gets old man!

Yoda Latino

Tilly Norwood is pregnant and you won't believe who the father is. It's bugs bunny. He hit it raw one too many times and she was going AWOOGA

there should be a Criterion Bang Bus where they give a nubile young stranger a ride and get them to watch the Cremaster Cycle

brutal lol

look at my opposition party dawg

i think i am immune to chatgpt psychosis because on top of having some basic reasoning skills and not being lonely enough that i would look to a magic 8 ball for friendship, i can't be suckered into reading a bunch of text about how i'm a god genius because i only skim most text

there's gotta be a more diabolical reason all these sport streaming websites start with a chat window open that makes a noise for every message