fewer than 1% of the human population will ever get to type a comeback as contextually devastating as this

First time this guy has ever made me laugh

Chrome's adblock dying has really just shown how bad ads have gotten now huh This appeared and fullscreened my window, hid my cursor, for clicking on a youtube download link lol old people are just not built to handle this

Sean Penn looks like Wile E. Coyote after a TNT mishap

With Eric Adams dropping out of the mayoral race, let’s take a moment to remember one of his most unintentionally funny videos

Dudes rock

on the surface, it might seem offensive to tell someone "that's not true, you made it up or your dumb ass asked your computer friend and your computer friend made it up, idiot." but it's actually the first step towards healing

I haven't translated the text but the diagram checks out

Please don't call it that

with these carats, I summon.. #umamusume

imagine if a family of beavers randomly showed up right now and finished whatever thing you've been putting off

What's the matter babe you've barely touched your event horizon ribs

this exists it is called thinking

I wanted to get a video of this ghost crab but every time I got close to their hole they scuttled back in, so I tried getting clever with it. I made a little sandcastle and shoved my phone into it, hit record, and walked away. Crab was VERY suspicious of this addition to their environment.

me: i want to sleep in a human-sized hotdog bun 911: sir that's.....ok actually that sounds great me: so who do we call 911: [shouting in background] we're checking now

The follow-up post is the best part.

i actually thought about this the other day as like, a funny bit someone should do. i decided it wasnt funny enough to post as a hypothetical but after seeing it actually happen, i was right it is pretty funny

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

(Data) This.. cool "S". What are it's origins? (Me) It's one of earth's most profound mysteries, Data. (Data, connecting the diagonal lines) Intriguing.

nothing is wrong. there is no problem. but you can’t help but think that man outside the trolley window appears to have a lot on his mind.

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

the shooter was an online gamer. it's important for newsrooms to understand video games more than ever. that's where i step in. so umamusume: pretty derby (ウマ娘 プリティーダービー) is a gacha horse racing simulator based on real life japanese race horses. in the world of umamusume, anime girls replace horses,

My uncle went to Dr Mario multiple times a year with respiratory problems. Prescribed all kinds of pills. Eventually saw an article about how his problems could be caused by rising damp and realised the back of his cistern was leaking into the foundations. So he called a plumber, guess who turns up?

A dream of the fields study

Yeah I got an editorial for you

Once again thinking about Macaulay Culkin walking into the Parisian café where the wifi password was “Macaulay Culkin” and the owner saying “I knew you’d come here someday”

So, right now, the only reliable way to diagnose endometriosis is with exploratory surgery. But finally, real scientists (instead of male scientists), are on the job & of course they’ve identified multiple markers in menstrual blood that point to noninvasive testing. www.science.org/content/arti...

GHISLAINE MAXWELL: here we go, boss. a big book of letters from all of your horrible best friends JEFF EPSTEIN: oh neat! look at this one from Donald GHISLAINE: that one's fake actually

If all my friends called me a pedophile in my birthday book I'd probably kill myself too

Thank you for everything, Trainer…! #umamusume #haruurara

KIM KITSURAGI - Well... except that one time when he stopped to sing karaoke. Which, by the way -- I have to disagree with you, Mr. Vicquemare -- was a valiant effort. He really sang his heart out.

Shōgun? Lady Mariko, they don't even let me show a sword.

Ronin Dangerfield

TOKUGAWA SHOGUNATE ERA RODNEY DANGERFIELD: i tell you i get no respect. the daimyo says i have to commit seppuku to restore my house’s honor. okay. i write my death poem, no problem. i ask my wife if she’ll be my second and she says she wants to be my FIRST!

YOU - Suffering will only make me stronger. ENDURANCE - It's probably this way of thinking that got you where you are.

meta ai trying to figure it out

standing with glinner? no. i'm SITTING for DINNER. with my wife, who has not left me,

It's my baby! Thank you so much @poorlycatdraw.bsky.social Sweeney is very happy with his portrait, and I am too <3