“Blastoise”, pronounced like a New Orleans sugar baron’s surname

that shit's just fuckin' up there, huh?

But what if I were to disguise my weak joke as a Simpsons reference? Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, millennial man.

I think the disconnect between Atlantic elites is that Americans think Donald Trump is a kid getting to drive a monster truck for Make A Wish and Europeans and Canadians think Donald Trump is the president of the United States.

Oh to be a little Tardigrade walking across a microscope slide. 🫧🐻🧪

it's pretty wild that the Swedes have been in NATO less than 2 years and are now somehow at "deploy quasi tripwire force against US aggression" stage

Honestly this tweet is itself a complete argument for why the EU should pony up for serious defence spending and start providing Ukraine enough material to relentlessly crush Russia back to the 1992 borders so no one will ever call Russia a super power again.

This guy in particular seems worryingly unhinged.

"That's not a knife. This is a knife." - Crocodile Dundee's in-home carer at lunchtime. Gently, ever so gently.

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

My baby's first word was "abracadabra" and then it vanished into thin air. I miss my child and the ensuing investigation was a bit of a hassle but god damn what a trick.

A FOOD

Minister of State Alex Norris tells the BBC he won't personally come off X because it's important for communicating with voters. None of his tweets for the last month has more than 1000 views.

Your second favourite aircraft?

art

212 people in dinosaur costumes participate in a dinosaur marathon in Kaohsiung, including mayor Chen Chi-mai sports.ltn.com.tw/news/breakin...

BIG FIGHT AT POLAND’S WROCLAW ZOO!!!

Early modern medical remedy of “tobacco, six shillings of beere, and a walk” ok so they cracked it. 1625 and they cracked it.

"Hey Alexa... What is Bristol like?"

You're not ready for the name of the energy transition specialist at Heat Pump Association UK

"Even Hel has frozen over" 11/10 no notes, Notes from Poland.

shoot the messenger before you even get the message. no news is good news as the maxim goes. they don't make wrong maxims

birds do it bees do it even educated fleas do it let's do it let's fly into a window

Foreign policy gets markedly easier when you have a meaningful defence budget.

DEATH BED CONFESSION SCOTT ADAMS says "DILBERT admits" to killing SIX ho- meless men in the late 80s! "Sometimes he was just so angry," said ADAMS, "Only one thing helped." MURDER! Seems DILBERT has a MEETING with the ULTIMATE POINTY HAIRED BOSS: SATAN

Tell you what, someone is going to make a banging LinkedIn post on Monday to try and flog their business continuity consulting services.

the president of taiwan right now

Reminder: The US has refused to join the International Criminal Court because it argues extraterritorial justice is incompatible with national sovereignty and citizen's rights.

Pour one out for all those poor folks trying to get through a dry January

It’s gonna be so cool when President JD Vance defends “based and red pilled” Argentinian President Javier Milei’s right to seize the Falklands from the “Islamo-leftist” UK

The EU's grand strategy and principled stance toward wars of aggression remain steadfast

wait they are genuinely making "possession of weapons" charges against the head of a foreign military

I'll wait for the dust to settle before throwing out takes but congrats in advance to the sales teams at every Chinese air defence manufacturer for your bumper 2026 exports to South America.

“and in other news, President Trump has ordered the bombing of Venezuela” “Caracas?” “not according to his doctors”

grim posthumous scenario i had not previously considered: you post a picture of the missile headed straight for you, and are memorialized by a bunch of random assholes complaining about alt text

live rolling news was a mistake

Swearing in on Machiavelli’s The Prince. Concerned murmur from the crowds. Good.

They gentrified the tinfoil hat

Just making sure that 2025 is definitely over

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

Today is the last day that you can repost this image

Creating posters for military drills is Super Normal.

Hate freeloaders who join in the New Year's Eve countdown for the last 10 seconds. I've been doing this all year. Where were you back in May

I always tell students if you ask a good question the article will write itself

The last few days did not move the main story forward AT ALL. It's just a guy eating little treats and doing nothing. And so many plot holes. He says, "no more little treats," and then he's eating another little treat in literally the next scene.

The succeeding in question